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PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2018 11:54 am 
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For this one, let's get our wind instruments out and . . . .


I was a self diagnosed Constipated Christian
For whom little came to pass
So I prescribed myself an enema
And awaited a moving blast

Forty days I waited
Forty long nights too
Not a single revelation
So I concluded I was truly in the poo

Well, not strictly speaking
For old familiar faeces still remained within
And after forty days and forty nights
I wore a constipated grin

Then I saw a sign
"This Way Is Relief"
So I girded up my loins
And hoped it was end to internal grief

Rome wasn't built in a day
But my internals are getting there
Good things do come to pass
But please stand up wind in fresh air

:mrgreen:


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PostPosted: Sat May 12, 2018 10:08 am 
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:lol:

That poem stinks, Bemused.

But in a very funny way.

:lol:


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PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2018 3:43 pm 
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Well, that was a good way to say it.
I stand back from the stinky ones.
Mostly.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2018 2:41 am 
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Fiddle de de
Fiddle de dum
Explained by Bemused
Religion 101

Love thy neighbor
As long as with thee agree
If neighbor don’t
Cast loose and free

Call preaching, sharing
But listen not
Shame if thee be infected
By another’s lot

Confess thy sins
Absolve self of same
And if thee slip
Tempting devil just blame

Forgive the sins
Of them with whom thee pray
And when prey they do
Look the other way

So on, so forth
That’s a quick overview
I failed Religion 101
Not committed to.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2018 8:53 am 
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Nice to hear from our Poet in Residence ... we've missed you!

:)


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 12:43 am 
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Are Bert and Ernie gay?
It is our right to know
Good Christian folk
Do not let our morals go

We gotta get to Sesame Street
Demand an inquiry frank and full
Weed out Sodom and Gomorrah
And off the tv perverts pull

No forgiveness for Bert and Ernie
Unless they repent on bended knee
Horrid little perverts
Who live together on tv

And Uncle will join our protest
He who molested MKs for years
But we close our eyes and forgive
Lest we offend his precious ears


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 9:14 am 
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Funny ... and not funny.

Thanks, Bemused.

You've got it right, as usual!


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 04, 2018 10:50 pm 
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I remember being at home one day and my father coming round. The tv was on and there was a gay politician speaking. My father became livid and used language that I'd never heard him utter before. And yet he denied that there was any serious child abuse at Numonohi, despite knowing that our neighbour went to jail for the same.
I've never been able to understand why extreme religious people are so concerned about what consenting adults get up to in their private lives, yet show no concern when their religious colleagues abuse children.

I suspect the hypocrisy of this has caused many to leave their churches, missions or other institutions.

As for Bert and Ernie, who cares, they only exist down to their navels ;)


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2018 4:17 pm 
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"As for Bert and Ernie, who cares, they only exist down to their navels ;)..."

That's pretty funny!


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2018 3:35 pm 
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Soul Alone or AWOL

If I wrote out my story
Would you give it a tick
And then stop reading quickly
Before it made you quite sick

Would you weigh up the odds
And think, "this cannot be true"
No person would do
What this person claims men do

If I came to you church
And you saw my face
The lines, the anguish
In your holy place

Would the first thing you ask
Be, "how are you and our god?"
The what if I were honest
And replied, "it's a relationship odd"

Would this cause a dilemma
A plea for my soul
Would you say "Trust Jesus
He'll make you whole"

Or would you react
Like very few do
Listen, really listen
And pass not judgemental view

Would you say "forgive"
Or "crime must not pay"
Would you fight for justice
Or just squirm away

But worry not for your church
My story there will not take its toll
For what need have I of such place
When I have not left, a soul


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