MK forum

To all those who are living in denial – tell a rape victim to forgive and forget? Tell the victims of the child molester from Penn State to forgive and forget. These are NOT “forgive-and-forget” offenses. Unwanted sexual contact, rape, long term child abuse, intense child abuse all have serious ramifications. Child abuse is brain rape and don't you forget it!

Live in denial if you want, but please stay away from the victims of child abuse. They don't need your help. Send money if you want, but please stay clear of the victims. High level child abuse victims need counseling, psychotherapy, love, understanding, and compassion. Child abuse victims need more Christianity Christian models than critics.

Let the Christian therapists and Christianity Christians do this job. They have the proper skills and temperament. Please do your judgmental work and psycho babble somewhere else. I feel very bad for anyone who has been sexually abused or any other abuse victim. This is not fun and games, it's the real world, Ladies and Gentlemen! Denialists think that if the abuse didn't happen to them that it is no big deal – forgive and forget. Easy for them to say! By knowing nothing about child abuse, the denialists only talk is psycho babble. If I hear forgive and forget one more time, I am going to “lose my lunch.” I know that the Bible teaches that we must forgive even as God has forgiven us, but forgetting is another thing altogether. Child abuse victims need to get the help they truly need and the responsibility lies with the organizations who have put these kids in harm's way.

When the brain has been “pinged,” child abuse victims are four times more likely to stress out by being around mean people, “religious zealots,” etc. than other people. Child abuse knowledge is like money!

I didn't volunteer to go to the field and get abused. I was born into an abusive situation. I was entrusted into a school system run by “religious zealots.” My father was gone many months at a time to work with the “Brown Gold” people, and the atmosphere was not healthy for me. When I was in the school system, I wanted to take a vacation every year for one year. Sounds like a joke, but it was no joke. It was a nightmare!!

To a victim of child abuse, psycho babble and religious “gobbledegook” is not going to ring true to him or her. My soul mates, my psycho babble is needed because my name is Scatterbrained and I might live under a bridge, but my long term memory is exceptional and I have first hand knowledge of abuse. Victims want real answers to real problems. Please! Show understanding!

Child abuse has cost me...

1. $250,000 in lost wages.
2. A good higher education.
3. A wife with good mental health.
4. A good night's sleep – insomnia.
5. Level 2-6 concussion-type headaches from stress.
6. $45,000 left in child support payments.
7. Stomach problems from stress.
8. A good career.
9. Homelessness.
10. Loneliness.
11. Court visits.
12. Legal fees.

Other than these problems – no big deal! Right? If you think this is no big deal, send me your car, I don't have one. You meet more people by taking the bus – right?

When we are dealing with children and their mental health, good intentions are not good enough. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. We must make sure that the atmosphere in which kids grow up is a suitable environment with a balance of positive-to-negative reinforcement. The environment must lean toward the positive in order to achieve proper balance and give them stable mental health – a well-rounded personality, physically, mentally and spiritually – solid as a rock. We will stand on this rock together until this happens.

Explain “positive-to-negative reinforcement.” For every negative comment made to our MK kids, you should have at least four good comments (most psychologists would put this number MUCH higher), like... “What a great job you did on the dishes,” “Your grades are really good now,” “You were so nice today,” “What a strong leader you are becoming!” etc. If their experience is all negative for a very long time, and then you bring in a positive comment, they won't even hear it after awhile, “Yeah, right – sure” is what they will say, and eventually, they will feel like they just want to crawl under a door.

Even if you have to distance yourself from your own parents, it is worth it until their attitude toward you changes. You must surround yourself with only high quality Christians (as much as you can) and nice people who have deep respect for your humanity. You are a child of God. Man abused you – NOT God, and God wants you to be mentally healthy. Stick to your guns and create your own group of compassionate, kind, loving, understanding, and considerate friends. Do NOT let the mean, back-stabbing, and cruel psycho shrinks fry your brain. By psycho shrinks I mean unethical people who have been hyper-triggered themselves and who know how to trip your triggers and they enjoy watching your brain fry.

Pray a lot! Have a cinnamon crunch bagel at Panera. This formula is working for me.

I married a gal who had been sexually abused by her own missionary father. I am frustrated that the denialists think that child abuse is something to forgive-and-forget. You marry someone who has been sexually abused, then you can tell me your fun story. It will take more than a few pages. Judges are still giving full custody to the women, even if they are sexually abused. Do you think it is fun to lose your own priceless kids? Try it and tell me it's “forgive-and-forget.” What part of this do you not understand? If I had $15K I could fight for visitation.

Many men and women today are marrying sexually abused and child abuse victims. Shouldn't we all try to put an end to this abuse of MK kids as fast as possible? PLEASE PRAY THAT THIS HAPPENS! These people are going to have a much harder time making their marriage work. Have you ever milked a porcupine? Do it carefully!

Repeat: The more you know about child abuse, the more you can manage your own life and keep at bay the denialists, judgmentalists, mean bosses, back stabbers, cruel people, and religious zealots!

Be a sower. Being a Christianity Christian works – IT'S NOT A RELIGION. It's a way of life. W.W.J.D. Wave goodbye to all religiosity churches. You can do better.

Treat yourselves as champions that haven't been tweaked completely yet. Once you are God's champion, who is going to be able to mess with you? In the past, I have been a turtle on a fence post, but now I am untouchable by mean people. This allows my brain to relax.

Use this untouchable strength to slice up the mean ornery people and zealots with kindness and humor. Learn to have a great comeback for every mean remark they say to you. Selfishly be in Brain Protection Mode AT ALL TIMES, no if's and's or but's. I have learned from experience. You will be on top of the world waiting for your redemption. It draws nigh, My Friends. You truly are my soul mates. God bless!

Call me your Friend,
"Scatterbrains"

Thanks for a great post, Scatterbrained. I am so sad about the HUGE price you have paid as a result of your abuse. This is so heartbreaking.

Enjoy that cinnamon crunch bagel. There IS a little bit of sweetness left in this life!

Those are very high prices to pay...staggering...

mmmm...cinnamon crunch bagel...that sounds rather delicious!

Thanks for posting!

Thank you, NOT SCATTERBRAINED.
(Name change is imminent. )

This gives more ways to support and hold up our dear friends here
And in other places.
You have learned ALOT
And we wish it hadn't been in the way you had to learn it.

This is from the naked pastor that I follow. He does cartoons sorry I don't know how to copy those to put here but you can go to the blog http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nakedpastor/2013/04/jesus-really-wanted-to-be-a-girl/

I had never really thought about the last statement before.

Jesus really wanted to be a girl
by David Hayward

jesus really wanted to be a girl cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward

Women, the abused, people of the LGBTQ community, questioners and doubters... these marginalized people are my people. This is who I draw and write about and for. I've been doing it for years. However, I'm still amazed at how quickly some people will rush in to try to provide balance to what I say but actually expose themselves as defenders of the perpetrators and perhaps even as perpetrators themselves.

You speak up for women and someone will quickly add, "There are women who oppress men too!" You speak up for the spiritually abuse and someone will quickly add, "The poor churches are under so much pressure." You speak up for the LGBTQ community, and someone will quickly add, "You can't expect the church to change overnight!" You speak up for the questioners and doubters, and someone will quickly add, "Why can't they just find a more liberal church where they're happy?"

Actually, what really gets me is when you speak up for the marginalized, and the general response from some is something like, "Why did they invite that kind of treatment?" I'm beginning to wonder if human beings can't help blaming the victims of this world.

Even yesterday in my tribute post to Roger Ebert who passed away yesterday, I mentioned Christopher Hitchens because Ebert used one of my cartoons in a Chicago Sun Times article about Hitchens. I was alarmed at the nasty things Christians were saying about Hitchens, such as they were glad God was taking him out and that he would burn in Hell, etcetera. Even then people reacted by saying such things as, "Well Hitchens said some pretty nasty things to Christians, so he deserved it." Or, "When you make public statements like Hitchens did you have to expect to get that kind of treatment." Or, "Sure he got that kind of treatment, but it wasn't from every Christian, just some, so stop blaming Christians for the cruelty he received." On and on and on.

Some people just don't get it. There is such a thing as a victim mentality. Sure. But I believe there is also a victimization mentality. And it seems that many Christians are good at it.