MK forum

three willows, thank you for sharing what you remember.
It's so soul-wrenching!
The wickedness knows no bounds.
How many wolves are there (were there) among them?

.... and again, I am reminded of why this Fanda Eagles Forum Family has become so dear to me. We share so much. I am thankful for the way we can be so honest, admit our mistakes, remember our nightmares, bare our secrets and support each other. We are all so wounded, but there is much comfort in this motley crew of broken hearted people.
My love to all, and today, especially to Three Willows and Mrs M.

It's been a brutal year, like 3willows, transitioning from an emotionally dead state into really feeling and remembering. Not doing so well with it . . .still feel raw, like stepping into a hot shower after a sunburn. . .all it takes is about a half hour on a quiet night ( without work, family, or entertainment) and I break down . . .

Mrs M . . .I applaud your courage in addressing the abuse/control stuff now. It's going to mean so much to your kids to have that validation.

MrsM

It is so important that your children see that you have taken responsiblity for what happened to them, no matter how small the part or how unintentional. I believe the minimizing of my brother's abuse by his family (parents and some siblings) is just as damaging as the actual abuse.

We are told that words have power. Think of the power of those simple words - I believe you - or - it was evil what happened to you. I think of your children and the protection you have given their spirits by saying those simple words. It is probably just enough to ward off the other words that people say like - get over it - forgive and forget.

I have taken note of the lessons of my brother with my children. Any incident causing my child pain, no matter how small, needs validation. Most times that's all it needs.

Thank you MrsM. I am so glad to have your perspective here.

I couldn't agree more: Minimizing of the abuse is just as damaging as the abuse itself.

threewillows, your post made me cry. My husband sounds like your little brother, but with no siblings to care for him. I have read from his own pen how much he hurts, and how many times he has longed to drown his pain in alcohol. He was born on the field. God, if you exist, how can you let people do so much damage to little boys in your name?

The tears are coming harder now. Mrs. M, I am so with you. We first started admitting that we had abuse in our family three (I think) years ago? When my husband owned up and apologized to our kids, when he stopped correcting and controlling them, healing just flowed like a river. He has relapses, way too many, but just acknowledging what's what and apologizing helps tremendously. At least here it did. I hope it works that way for you.

One reason I am crying so hard as I type this, is that my husband still has abusive episodes. He is so emotionally cruel when they happen, very passive-aggressive at first but openly aggressive if you call him on it. It's always my fault at the time, and then later, when he's back in his right mind, he is truly remorseful.

It's been three years almost of therapy and anti-depressants, and still it happens. As much as I love him, as much as I understand the why of it all, I still can not live with this forever. It may turn out that his parents abuse gets the final revenge on him- he will lose this family too. F*** you UFM!! You killed a little boys heart and he may never be completely healed. That's what fundamentalist Christianity has to offer the world.

I am convulsing with sobs and hyperventilating now. I deserve to live free from abuse. That little boy deserved to live free form abuse. But in the name of Jesus and for the cause of Christ, neither one of us will get what we deserve. I hate this religion so much.

I know it's a man-made religion, where pastors and missionaries get respect and the praise of men. I hope they enjoy it, because they have their reward. Goats, all of them, goats. People who call good (like nurture and kindness) evil and who call evil( dominating, hierarchical authority/abuse) good are an abomination. And they claim that what they have to offer is "good" news...

Tibby Westcott (NTM) just shared a story on FB that has Kari in it. It is about MK abuse of several missions

Report: U.S. Christian Missionary Kids Sexually & Physically Abused
www.theblaze.com

it is awesome

VIANOPOLIS STATUS REPORT
August 24, 2011
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Following a few glitches at the beginning of the investigation, it now proceeds at a reasonable pace.
I have established communication with fifteen (15) individuals (MK’s) who have expressed a desire to discuss their experiences while attending the NTM Boarding School at Vianopolis, Brazil from 1985 – 1999. Information provided concerns what these individuals believe to have been abuse by teachers and staff during that time period.

Presently, two (2) individuals have been personally interviewed. During those interviews, each provided information concerning additional victims and perpetrators of what they believed to be abuse. As a result of those interviews, they have communicated the seriousness and sensitivity with which the interviews were conducted, as well as the integrity of the investigative team to others, resulting in an expansion of the investigation. Interviews of six (6) other victims are scheduled following the completion and submission of their written testimonies (a term they use to refer to their statements). Additionally, following communication with several victims, a direct email to each student, for whom email addresses are available, is being prepared to solicit any information they wish to share, or they believe may be of significance to the investigative process.

As a result of the communication with the aforementioned individuals, the list of alleged abusers, and/or their participation in what is believed to be abusive behavior, has also grown. Information pertaining to several individuals was recently received and requires review. A strategy to interview, or attempt to interview, those alleged to have engaged in, or have knowledge of, abusive behavior is scheduled for early September (week of September 6 – 14, 2011).

Concurrent to these interviews, are those of NTM Leadership, at the school, on the field, and at NTM Headquarters. As information is developed and processed, those interviews will be conducted. To date only two members of NTM Leadership have been contacted/interviewed. Others will be contacted shortly.

Of great significance and value to the investigation was the recent visit to Brazil (September 18 -22, 2011). Six individuals were interviewed as to their personal knowledge and recollection of individuals and events during the period in question. Additionally, significant records and information was secured which requires review. Also significant was a visit to the school itself.

The visit to the school provides a visual depiction of property and facilities providing an understanding and insight of facilities as described by victims. Photographs taken may also be useful in helping to determine “intent” when individuals were taken to various locations within the “little dorm” or other locations for discipline and/or other activities. They will also aid in the visualization of the close proximity of the “little dorm” to the dining hall, girl’s dorm, boy’s dorm, school, and other facilities within the property.

Information contained in this status report is general in nature. Specific information pertaining to victims and perpetrators is available on request. Victim interviews will be conducted as they are willing to discuss their experiences in person, following a submission of their testimonies. Interviews of perpetrators, and/or those who had knowledge of them, will be conducted when and if they are available for interviews. Interviews of NTM Leadership will also be conducted as warranted upon receipt, coordination, and consolidation of information.

Additional inquires may be directed to me at rramirez@send.org.

Richard J. Ramirez
Director of Corporate Security
SEND International
36210 Freedom Road
Farmington, MI 48335
248-477-4210 x 111

Pat's correction: The trip to Brazil was Aug 18-22.

Thanks for catching it.

Thanks for posting this update. We've all been wondering what was happening, if anything! Obviously, people are talking,and they are listening.

Thanks, dbarney!