My husband has told me that he could not talk to his parents about anything. They never talked about his day, his friends, what he might like or why. Everything was always religion, all the time. He was told what to think; he was never asked what he might think. There were no open questions. Everything had one right answer and his parents assumed that would be his answer so why talk?
And as for what he might feel? Feelings were not allowed. Feelings were never discussed. Ever.
I talk to my children all the time. I hope that things open up more between my husband and our children. They are very compassionate people, my children, and they will accept any attempt at building rapport, no matter how clumsy.
It's just hard for their dad because he never had a healthy parent/child relationship. He doesn't know what one should say or feel, and as for authenticity, for most of their childhood he just felt numb. EMDR therapy is helping, but for years he was numb. Underneath the silence and passivity was a lot of hurt and anger, but that was never directed at our children- only me. He treated the children like age peers because that's the only way he knew how to relate to them. Sometimes that was okay, but they really could have used a father.
I guess like allbetter, by the time he was a teen, boarding school was better than the states at any rate. He felt less awkward in his missionary bubble; it was all he had ever known. But it ill prepared him for having a family of his own when he was an adult.