Allbetter,
The healing did not happen overnight. We gave each other a lot of room to deal with our feelings and emotions. I am sure my parents did quite a bit of praying for me during that time as well. I went through stages where I couldn't even speak to my parents or be around them because I was so angry.
I was very honest and open with them when I told them I was going to therapy and why. I also made it very clear to them that this was my journey and I needed their support. I also told a few very close friends what I was doing and why. I built a really good support system which helped immensly when I was dealing with the roller coaster of emotions.
After a month of going to therapy 3 times a week, we had a group session. My therapist pretty much told them what to expect, the anger, confusion, depression all the stages I would go through and the different scenarios on how I would handle it. It was good as it prepared all of us for what was to come. I give my parents a lot of credit for being open minded and willing to go through that with me, without telling me what I should feel,do or preaching at me. They just supported me. Especially since I chose a therapist who was NOT affiliated with any religion.
I remember a couple of months where I wouldn't see or talk to my parents, I had a lot of rage. I came home from work and on my back porch was a punching bag with boxing gloves and a note from my Dad. I've dragged that punching bag to 4 different states and still have it! I don't think I will ever get rid of it.
For me, this was not a journey where I was placing blame or looking for someone to target the emotions on. I really just wanted to address it head on , deal with it, and move on. Sounds simple right? HaHa, if only! I tell myself everyday that if I keep letting what happened to me so long ago affect me now, then I am letting him victimize me all over again. I refuse to let him keep affecting my life.
My parents and I also have made the topic a safe one. We can openly discuss it now and how we feel without feeling like either one of us have to tiptoe or walk on egg shells. They are entitled to their emotions and I am to mine, we respect that.
JJ
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