MK forum

The way I see it is that when the Spirit convicts me I am guilty whether I feel guilt or not.When I lay that sin at the cross God`s boundless grace cleanses me and restores me to fellowhip with the Father, which is why I was created. When a person tries to make me feel guilt it is because they want me to do something or not do something and are trying to control me. Then I can politely tell them where to shove it and not feel guilty.

Ok, I get that, that might even be the better take on guilt.

You know it might be easier for me if more people were trying to control me, but I live with very loving and understanding people and go to a pretty non judgmental church. It's really my mind that drives me crazy I think I have a problem with knowing if it is the Holy Spirit's conviction or my own irrational guilt. Because my thoughts were controlled, my movements limited, my emotions and outward manifestations of spirituality judged in my developmental years, I've had a hard time with this grown up world. I ca n get total acceptance from everyone around me and still feel miserable. Jerry, it seems to me that you are saying not to go by your feelings, but I've done that and ignored them too long. (By the way, I appreciate all of your feedback.). Any other thoughts? Anyone want to switch brains?

Two things that are helpful for me are imagery and processing.

Yesterday I blundered across someone's boundaries into their personal space and got shut out by someone I love fiercely. She brought our phone conversation to an abrupt halt. I felt horrible. I was mad at myself for broaching a sore subject, and I was upset to be shown, once again, that in regard to this particular issue, my loved one still shuts down emotionally and goes on the attack.

It took me a while for my heart to stop pounding and my head to stop spinning. But later, in a quiet moment, like a little girl with an "owie", I climbed onto my Jesus' lap and let him snuggle me for a while. Then I heard (in my imagination) "let's talk about this." (A phrase I used over and over with my little ones, which they laugh about now.)

So, in the safety of His warm, comfortable lap, I processed what was going on in my own head, why I was so upset at myself and my loved one. And I processed what might be going on in her heart, to cause her to pounce like that when she felt cornered. I was able to acknowledge that I had put her on the spot. To remind myself that the first emotions she grabs at are anger and resentment, because those are more familiar, comfortable emotions than fear or anguish. I was able to process why it hurts me that she still responds this way to painful subjects. Jesus and I just talked all this through, and when I was done, I was at peace both about what I had done, and what the reaction to me had been. No guilt. No condemnation. In any direction. No replaying it over and over through a sleepless night.

Thanks, Lord. I'll climb off your lap now and go back to playing.

I don't know if that will help anyone, but it's a fresh example of a couple of things that help me.

Thank you Raz. It always helps to get God`s advice because He sees all of our hearts.

Yeah T, I was trained to have no boundaries. In setting them it is very hard to know where to set them. Many panic attacks wondering if I am wrong. I think that when I climb on Jesus`s lap and talk about it He will always point me in the right direction. I think we have to believe God`s word no matter how we feel.

I thought this was a good discussion--wanted to say thanks to those who wrote. I think I'm gaining on some of the issues. Does anyone else have any personal insights or professional material that has helped? Specifically regarding shame and guilt . . .

Guilt and shame are hard to get rid of. One reason is because my parents still use it on me and my girls.

Who I Am in Christ devotional by Neil T. Anderson

Love Wins by Rob Bell

The Shack by Wm. Paul Young, a novel but a great one.

I meant to post the above titles in a different thread, but they are still really good books. Who I Am in Christ should really help with false guilt and the enemy shame.