MK forum

Hi ya'll,
Yesterday I read a post on a blog belonging to a friend of mine. Although she spoke of healing from the loss of her baby, I think what she says about healing can apply to anyone. I realize there are differences and when speaking of abuse there are dynamics like repressed memories and other things that perhaps make healing harder since so many things can be buried inside our minds. But I still thought it was beautifully written and I asked her permission to post it here. It's entitled "The Choice"

Friday marked 20 months since we said goodbye to Olivia, our third daughter, our fourth and last child, thusfar. That might seem like a long time to most, but there are moments when it feels like it all happened not that long ago. Time is a good cure, but it does not heal all wounds. After much reflection on the subject, I've come to believe this one simple truth: healing is a choice.


Some physical wounds are shallow and nearly inconsequential, take a paper cut for example. It might hurt for a few seconds, but then you scarcely notice it even happened. Other wounds require more attention, but probably can be handled on your own, like a scraped knee. You wash it up, apply a little antiseptic and a bandage, and you're out riding your bike again in no time. Some injuries require professional help, like broken arms and deep lacerations needing stitches. And other situations, say a severe car accident, might need surgery, a hospital stay, and months of rehab.

I think emotional wounds are somewhat similar. Some are shallow and quickly forgotten. Others might require a little more attention. And still deeper wounds....need work and maybe even professional help.

I've often wondered why some people that I've encountered still seem truly bruised, battered, and broken, even years after their loss. Their personal pain appears raw and fresh. While others, although forever changed by their loss, seem to be working towards healing and reclaiming their joy. I remember feeling angry that after all I had endured, I had to actually work towards mending my heart and spirit. WHAT?! It just doesn't seem fair. But fair or not, I believe it is what is required.

One month after Olivia had died, I remember reading something that convicted me into making a distinct choice: I would focus on Christ instead of on my suffering. And it is a choice I have had to make again and again.

A choice to heal.

A choice to live.

A choice to find joy.

Praying for the choices you face,
Becki (www.astirringlife.blogspot.com)

I remember making this choice in my own life. It was the summer before my senior year in high school. I had made some bad choices over the summer that were a result of all the confusion I felt over my past abuse. I was trying to be in control of my life yet I felt wildly out-of-control. I was not happy. I realized my actions were somehow related to my feeling about my past abuse yet I didn't know how all the pieces fit together. I made a committment to God that I would not act out on those confusing and angry emotions. I made a committment that I would seek out healing in my own life; that I would seek to understand why I felt the way I did and how I could heal from that. And that's what I've done to this present day. It doesn't minimize the greatness of the pain or the greatness of the sin done to me. But it does help me move forward in my own life, continuing to grow, and continuing to walk the path towards healing. It's not always easy but it's so worth it.

Thank you for sharing this encouraging truth!

Depression is defined as a loss of hope. When someone close to me made an outright choice to hope in Christ, the healing began. So many verses about hope in Christ/hope in God held her up. Then practical/physical steps were involved, also. It was long and hard---even the others in her (professional) therapy group were amazed as they themselves continued the same way week after week and, for some, year after year. At one point the therapy was no longer necessary. She recovered better than she was before it began! And has never gone back into the depression. Her hope in Christ continues to take her thru-----even some VERY difficult trials. We talk about the power of Christ in our lives. It is real and practical.

Thank you for loving all of us enough to share. In our own time, may we all discover His strength and compassion.