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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 10:14 am 
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Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2010 3:52 pm
Posts: 142
I´m not a triber, but I´m going to nosy parker in anyway, here´s one that I love, at the link:

http://music.theblackthornproject.com/track/give-me-your-hand

youtube version´s too badly recorded.


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PostPosted: Sun May 01, 2011 7:13 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 02, 2010 10:00 pm
Posts: 118
Yesterday, today, forever
NTO is the same
Others may change, and experience personal growth and paradigm-altering epiphanies and take a good long, hard look in the mirror and see themselves as they really are and listen to people around them who are trying to help them become better versions of themselves
But NTO NEVAHHH!!!
Glory to its own name!


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:42 pm 
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Posts: 266
I'm so behind the times here.

Can someone recap for me what is currently going on re: investigations, NTM's current stance, etc, etc?


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 11:52 pm 
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I'm going out on a limb here...

Lots of you know I was an associate at Via.

Here's what I remember about the Little Dorm and Frank:

- A young boy -whose name I still remember- in one of my classes told me that the boys had to take cold showers, but the girls were allowed hot showers.

- I was not allowed to give innocent, little girl lip gloss to the girls in my classes who were in the Little Dorm, because Frank did not like them wearing "Makeup." This was for a Christmas present and I remember thinking, 'Shouldn't the parents be the ones to decide this? After all, they are going home for Christmas break and take the lip gloss with them if need be.'

- I remember the specific name of one little girl who told me they were not allowed to play with me or any of the other associate teachers outside of school, because Uncle Frank liked them to spend time with him.

If I think of more I will post them.


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 12:01 am 
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tow mater--avg. intelligence wrote:
MrsM

If a 50+ year-old dormfather bathed your daughter (she had a cast on and needed help), while the dormmother took her usual 8:00 p.m. visit to another dorm, what would you do?

Be honest.....you and I are the only ones on here.

I can't even put into words what I would do. Honestly. I am so disgusted that I'm speechless.

And who is worse? The dormfather for doing it or the dormmother for pretending it wasn't happening?


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 8:46 am 
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tow mater--avg. intelligence wrote:
I remember being confined to my room for weeks on end for merely being present when a child broke the rules. I remember the shame, the guilt. Going days without sleep just laying awake feeling guilty but not know what it was I did wrong. I remember us boys conspiring to murder Frank Parker our dorm dad for what he was doing to little girls. We had it all planned out. After a particular episode I wrote him a letter telling him I was going to cut his head off in his sleep if he went into a certain little girl's room again while she was dressing, and signed my name. I was 9. Lack of passion and courage has never been a problem for me... tact and wisdom... well lets keep praying.
nobikesonthesidewalk
http://fandaeagles.com/forums/posting.php?mode=quote&f=20&p=1047


Every time I read the above post, I ask myself why anything else needs to be written about anything. A nine-year-old child isn't encumbered by politics, career aspirations and the selfish desire to not get involved.

Wow, too bad the staff that were there to protect didn't have the same conviction. Would have saved a lot of heart ache


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 3:18 pm 
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I don't want to judge, but honestly it is so hard for me to believe that spouses of pedophiles are completely innocent in all of it. Weren't there signs? Wasn't there any indication that their spouses fascination with children was not healthy? Shouldn't the spouse be held somewhat responsible in all this?


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 12:07 am 
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I agree Survivor! I can remember being admonished again and again to avoid the appearance of sin. So with the "dorm dad" hanging out alone with young girls in bedrooms and other places....this wasn't appearing sinful enough?


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 7:33 pm 
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survivor wrote:
I don't want to judge, but honestly it is so hard for me to believe that spouses of pedophiles are completely innocent in all of it. Weren't there signs? Wasn't there any indication that their spouses fascination with children was not healthy? Shouldn't the spouse be held somewhat responsible in all this?

I've been thinking on this.

I do know of one woman who honestly, outright KNEW that her husband was molesting her children and just didn't ... what? Want the world to know? Want to disturb her happy home (that was my opinion at the time- we were the ones instrumental in reporting him and she ripped me to pieces over not being a "good friend" and "ruining their home").

At any rate, yes. They know. I know this because as I look back at my situation, I can't believe I allowed us (my children and I) to live like this.

However- we use lots of different 'coping' mechanisms. Denial. "It will get better." Not wanting to believe someone so close to us would cause suffering INTENTIONALLY.

For Christian wives it's, "Well, the Bible says we are to submit." Or "God hates divorce."

Or, there is nowhere else to go. No one will help. No one really cares. I know this one first-hand. I tried to get out several months ago. No one really cared. I even reported us to Family Services!!!! In a nutshell, they didn't care a whole lot and didn't do much. After a month of shuffling from place to place, I had to go back home. It was the middle of winter and I had nowhere to take my children.

There are no easy answers. I fully accept the blame that is mine. I fully realize that my children have suffered and are damaged and that *I* will have to help pick up the pieces and it won't be easy. I tell them over and over I am sorry, that I wish I had NEVER stayed as long as I did, that I realize the damage that is done.

That's all for now. Again, the abuse here is *not* sexual or beatings. But it is damaging and will have lasting effects. And I am saying all this not to cause people to be mad at me but in hopes that I can give insight- however little- to what wives might be facing when their spouses abuse and neglect.

As for the dorm mothers and those on base or surrounded by other missionaries... it is harder for me to understand how NO ONE aside from the spouse saw the signs. I think they did and did nothing. Or if they did do something- because I think there were some cases mentioned where people did go to field leadership- it was ignored and brushed under the rug.

I hope this makes sense. I have a massive migraine but I wanted to comment on this. I am going out on a HUGE limb here by posting all this, but one of my prayers in all of this is that hopefully God uses me through it all.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 7:37 pm 
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Again- except for very rare cases where the spouse truly did NOT know, there is no excuse, as hard as that is for *me* to write. There are lots of reasons, but no usually justifiable excuses.

Fear of man is the biggie for me, and I suspect, for many others faced with this. Fear of not being loved. Fear of having the wrath of the abuser on you. Fear, even, of making it WORSE for your children if you handle it wrong. Fear that if you leave and have to come back, things will be that much more horrible (because they often are). Lots of fear.

But excuses for staying and never doing anything-- there aren't any.


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