MK forum

This is one of the things I've struggled with most. I think that dorm mom did know, and for whatever reason, it was just beyond her to do anything about it. I remember one incident...I was so close to being abused... and she came into the room and stood up for me. At the time, I thought it was strange- the fear in her eyes, the concern. And he let me go, but I don't know what price she paid for stepping out of her "realm." Why I escaped, and why others didn't, I don't know. I don't get that...it doesn't make sense. I can't wrap my head around that.

I believe she genuinely loved us...to the best of her ability. I can't say that was enough...especially since some of us were being abused and she didn't have what it took to make it stop.

I'm sure our dorm mother knew about our abuse and just accepted is as is was being inflicted by her
husband to none American students only. Forgive me if I am wrong about this as I have only heard of non-Americans in this case so far. She was a cold self obsessed women with the right face for the right people when required. In the whole time I was there in the dorm she never had anything to do with me....don't remember her even speaking to me. I was her husbands project and she left him to it...even when I was sick. He was the only one who ever dealt with me.

It would appear you are alas right. He only appeared to only prey on non american kids. I myself was one of his victims of his physical abuse, but it was of a minor consequence and he was dealt with by my father.
No doubt his wife knew what was going on, but it didn't matter because it was only happening to second class citizens, for this is how Jim and Judy saw the world.
To be blunt and truthfully honest, when I left PNG I had considerable resentment for the way New Zealand families were treated and I assumed that this was just a general attitude of the average American. Fortunately I have been proven wrong and found that the average American has no stomach for this sort of behaviour either.
What happened to us was disgraceful, our parents were given the jobs that no one else would do, our houses were stolen, we were not entitled to the same products from the store, our supplies were stolen and our parents worked like dogs while others played with their toys. Worst of all our parents were critisized, ostrasized and even forced out of NTM because we enjoyed the company of the locals and didn't treat them like the third class citizens that the likes of Jim and his friends did.
Does NTM have a record of any of this? Well probably not, because it was to Dean Van Vliet that I wrote to about it and we all know what he was dismissed for. Interestingly when he wrote to my parents to threaten them to keep their son under tighter control (I was 30 by this stage) or else NTM would relatiate, he never denied any of my claims and probably for one good reason, I was the one telling the truth.

Yes Bemused, everything you say is so true. We were worked like dogs in positions that never allowed us the same rights or any time what so ever as families. When my parents left it took a couple, a single women and a family with teenage children to fill the job they had been given. Any positions where you had to be at the beck and call of the masses anytime, anywhere were given to us "lesser beings".

Man, we knew how to work..and use our brains independently!. Thinking outside the box was something that was always encouraged as we grew up in the commonwealth countries. It was a matter of survival....little did we know 30 years ago we were going to use those skills to survive NTM and now to change the course of history.

I agree totally. The skills learned by the doing the hard yards in NTM, while others had the luxury of having a "nice time", have actually served quite well in the long run. We were taught to work the problems out, not just memorize the answers, there is a big difference.

The most ironic thing for me, is that the person who made my life hell, is now having the consequences of what his good wife taught me turned back on him. I learned to type.
And that over the years has been one of the most useful things that I learned as an MK. For being a writer with terrible handwriting, typing is wunderbar.

Funny, they tried to break me.....might have kept me quiet but my brain was always ticking over. Saw so much and thought a lot. Heavens, I'm making the most of shooting my mouth off now thats for sure....SUCH A GOOD FEELING!

Am I the only one that feels such raw emotion about the MK issues(I know I'm not)....but is it still a spiritual hangover from NTM that American MK's don't feel able to express disapproval, disgust, anger.........? Or....are we afraid with all thats happened that once we start we won't want to stop.......?

Women were always told that it wasn't lady like/Godly to disagree or express anger. Men
stayed staunch and manly...so to speak. Kept everyone beautifully under control.

Fanda Eagles has really allowed me to connect with core of my emotions and I thought I may see more of that on Fanda. It was really scary at first but it has made a difference for me.

My Dear Radioshack,

Alas the good ship NTM NZ has come upon the rocks and is in danger of breaking up. For it is a small ship and all the passengers aboard are well acquainted with each other. Some have scrambled into the lifeboats already for they have seen the size of the waves mounting upon their stricken vessel and are sore afraid they will be dashed upon the rocks in the storm. There are those who seek to rescue the stricken vessel, but alas their efforts are only making the inevitable worse.
A few are in the radio room, desperately seeking assistance bit no one is coming to assist, NTM Australia is to far away and probably busy patching the holes in their own vessel.

Stay tuned for updates.

Bemused

P.s. it's nice and calm where I am in my little kayak, how's the weather where you are?

To true, this is a forum for expressing ones anger, and also a forum to find hope and healing. Sometimes the former needs to come out, before the latter will settle in.

For many of us MKs from Downunder we had to watch as our parents were broken systematically in PNG. They were singled out with harsh treatment, made to do things no one else would and when all was said and the job was done, someone else always got the benefit and credit for their hard labours. NTM has never apologised for what happened and we don't hold our breath that there will ever be an apology. Most of the missionaries who were instrumental in this discriminating behaviour have long left NTM, but a few are enjoying their retirement in Florida courtesy of NTM, while many of our parents scrape by in their latter years because of what happened and what was taken from them.

I don't think there are any New Zealanders left in PNG (I'm not fully up to date, so could be wrong). What we hope is that there has been a big shift in attitude and that the missionaries of today are treated equal, no matter where they originate from and what colour skin they have, because it hurts deeply when it is any other way.

Now in our own way, some of us MKs from downunder have taken up the opportunity to work with MKs on Fanda Eagles towards common goals. We share our stories and we raise some smiles with our interesting way of looking at the world. And we would like to think that we are considered as a valuable part of the team as anyone else. Yes we have some real reasons to be angry about what happened and we thank thee for listening as we air these, but reassurance that what happened will never happen again will go a long way to us all being able to heal. For there may come a day when there is a satisfactory outcome to all this and we would like to think that when that day comes, in the euphoria of celebration and congratulation that once again our part on this journey is not forgotten . . .