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 Post subject: Re: Been Readin'
PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:07 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2010 1:45 pm
Posts: 170
Sitting Duck: I don't know who you are or everything you really went through, but I hope you can start expressing those pent-up feelings now. Don't ignore them. It's so important to get to the bottom of that and to find healing. I'm sorry for how you felt picked on, like you were targeted because of your family. I have heard the same thing from others in my conversations. I want you to know that you're not the only one who feels this way. It's a long road towards healing but it's so worth it. You are valued. You are significant. You are a precious person. And you have much to contribute to those around you. And if I ever happened to be the person who caused you pain, I'm so sorry. You may have heard this before: Hurt people, hurt people. This is why we so badly need healing. This cycle of hurt needs to stop.


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 Post subject: Re: Been Readin'
PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:37 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 20, 2010 2:24 am
Posts: 208
This is why we so badly need healing. This cycle of hurt needs to stop.[/quote]


GREAT WORDS!!! not only with NTM but all over the world!!


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 Post subject: Re: Been Readin'
PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 5:30 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2010 8:41 pm
Posts: 53
I bullied people who were abused at Fanda. My friends, the only people i had in the world. I have felt guilt like you wouldn't believe. I was lucky enough to get things right with these people. I still apologise to one of them and she is probably sick of it. I was 11 when i bullied the second girl. I helped make her life hell. I so badly needed attention from adults and at the time this girl was the "favorite". I thought that she was special and i wasnt. I thought that she had power to get me in trouble and noone would believe me. So I bullied her. I pushed her away and isolated her. When she needed me the most! I am in awe of her forgivness of me when i can't forgive myself! When i found out years later what she was going through at the time as well and the lies that we lived with i am utterly sickened at what i did.


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 Post subject: Re: Been Readin'
PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2010 11:40 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:02 pm
Posts: 4
i hear u. i guess i really didnt fit in w the authority but i think i meshed w the other mks. little to well cuz on two diff acounts i was invited to not return! grounded to my dorm room for weeks at a time and paddled. thought it was just cuz we wern w ntm. maybe or mabey not. the poin is that i thought that i had givn all this to god. turns out it camr up alot while doing my 4th step w my sponser! found out that i was prayd for for a long time cuz you guys thought i got a raw deel and i neede prayer. thank you you know who you are. im sorry for our childhood taken from us and ive been retuning the favor lately. ive sufferd sexuall abuse by more than one time on nuurous times way before i ended up in brasil. want to say that its nothing you did to deserve this! from experience a sorry doesnt make you feel betr and sure dont erase the fact of the hurt that was done! i do counseling head shrinking and support groups to deal w my hurt hang ups and habits. pray pray pray! i talk through most my probs today. well just gettn my voice in feel free to message me and ill do what i can to help ill b back talk more wen my head stops spinning from thiss all. this has helpd me rea;lze that im not unque at all and that there are others that i can get from and share experience strengths and hopes with. god bless and i love you all out there in mk land sorry bout the spelling im fluit in two languges and cant spell either! well HERE I AM :!:


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 Post subject: Re: Been Readin'
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 12:25 pm 
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Joined: Thu Sep 16, 2010 11:06 am
Posts: 223
Hereiam-

It's great to hear your voice here. Thank you for having the courage to speak!! Yes, it is hard stuff to read about, to know that your friends suffered so much. And, to find out you are not unique. I hope that helps in your own path toward healing!! However, even though what you suffered is not unique, it doesn't mean your pain is any less than someone else's! Part of healing is accepting the hurt-naming it, owning it, and then pushing past it to healing.

I'm so sorry for what you went through before coming to Brasil. I am very sad to hear about that...and to know that you continued to suffer even in a place that was supposed to be part of your healing, belonging, growing. It makes me so angry that nobody ever took the time to see through the behaviors to the hurt inside!!

God is very good to have brought you this far. He will be faithful to complete the work He began in you!

Thanks again!!

Hurt-n-Hopeful


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 Post subject: Re: Been Readin'
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 8:01 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2010 1:45 pm
Posts: 170
HereIam: Thanks for posting. I'm so sorry for all the hurt in your life but so thankful that you're learning to work through things and really look at what caused the hurt and how it affected you. I think one thing we all have in common is hurt. The difference is how the hurt happened and how it affected us but we all have been hurt in some way. Be encouraged that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. One thing I think is so great is that God can use our worst hurts to be able to minister to someone else. Each horrible thing from our lives He can use a a testimony of His power and healing. And when people know that you've been hurt as well, it makes them more receptive to hear from you. Be encouraged.


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 Post subject: Re: Been Readin'
PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 9:49 am 
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Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 8:47 pm
Posts: 142
Survivor, Love your post. This verse came to mind:

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

My desire and prayer for each of us who are hurting and looking for healing.


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 Post subject: Re: Been Readin'
PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2010 10:16 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2010 7:07 pm
Posts: 62
Hereiam, I so much appreciate your personal story. I can feel your process, it is very real and genuine. I'm sorry for what you experienced. Pain has a way of grounding all of us, it brings with it a journey full of choices. I pray that you chose a journey that continues to move towards healing. Just one recommendation, a lot of people on these forums have sought counseling to help them deal with their past. That is a huge act of courage and humility to step out and do that. And I would recommend it for anyone that has pain in their past. It works for me, to this day I still see a therapist, and have for the past 7 years. My list of issues is so long I'll need to be reincarnated twice (no I don't believe in that) just to get through the list with my therapist... I also work in the counseling field and am around that process all the time. What is crucial from my experience and observation is that those who have trauma in their life see counselors who have experience in treating trauma. Otherwise the trauma may not be dealt with in an adequate way...just something to think about.
God bless your journey...


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 Post subject: Re: Been Readin'
PostPosted: Sat Oct 30, 2010 8:02 pm 
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Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2010 9:02 pm
Posts: 4
obrigado por todos! its a shame that it took this for me to catch up w you all but its feels good. sogota do some arts but i post later a day. ate logo amigos pks and mks e boa noite :D


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