MK forum

When I was six, I ate ripe Goiabas not thinking twice, though I never did touch fried boot'm ants. (Sorry, no idea how to spell that.) After coming back from a furlough, I bit into a ripe Goiaba, and it suddenly dawned on me that despite its deliciousness, the little creatures enjoying that sweet interior were rather revolting. I have never eaten another. Although I still like Goiabada and Geleia...I just don't ask.

I don't remember exactly when I realized that my childhood was not 'normal.' Into my college years, every Sunday night a deep sadness would come over me. And then one night, I stopped to think about it. I thought, no Monday is worth this kind of mourning...in fact Mondays are not all that bad. Why in the world am I so sad? Then, I thought back, "What happened on Sunday nights?" And it dawned on me, it was the night before returning to Via after a going home weekend. On those Sunday nights, I would lay with my heart in my throat. The grief would fade into a heart-soreness which wore off after 2-3 days with aquiescence. Three weeks would pass and the pattern was repeated. That was the reason for those Sunday night blues. And there was healing on that day.

So here I am Sunshine, but this is like jumping into a cold pool. I have to test the water with my toe.

Thanks "for testing the waters" . . . come on in; yes, it may be painful, but the awakening is the beginning of the real you . . . . Never forget, you are the Daughter of the Most High!!!

True, publius, although I suspect this might be a son. Welcome and that was a good beginning. I´m so glad to hear from you.

@ Sun: thanks . . . wrong sex, right Father!

Great to hear from you, Arara Azul! I posted on the goiaba dilema a few days ago. Do you know what is worse than finding a worm in your goiaba? (Finding half a worm!)

Sundays were hard for me too, especially those going home weekends! I think it was so obvious, to me, that I was alone. I was one of the kids whose families lived too far away to go home on "GHW," and if I was unlucky enough to not get invited to join another family, I spent the weekend feeling sorry for myself. It was pretty hard, as there were only a few of us, and it would go from 6 or 8 tables in the Refei down to 1 or 2 at the most, and I never felt more unloved than those days. It wasn't anyone's fault...just a fact of life.

As much as I looked forward to being surrounded with people again, returned from "going home weekend," the sadness only multiplied when I saw the happy faces of kids who had been lavished upon, their cups filled up. Looking back, I was full of envy, and though I know it was a sin, I couldn't help but think it was more than that--unfair, cruel. Well, it was life, and I learned to cope. I stuck my head in a book--usually Nancy Drew, and read my way through most of our little library. Poor Aunt Velda must've read through my sob stories on overdue books, but she always let it slide "this time!" She was such a softy, deep down!

Well, I don't know who you are, but I love a great mystery, so keep it comin' friend! We have our "listening ears on" as Aunt Gill would say! I've got M&Ms for brain pills, so if you need one to get the juices flowin', let me know!!

@HnH: I identify with the whole going home for a weekend crisis. My parents, too, were far away and I was one of those who sat in a nearly empty refei on those days. The experience happened again during college years for fall breaks, where I never went home . . .never really had a "home" to go to. In fact, to this day, don't ask me to define where "home" is or where I'm from. I still don't have a short answer for that question . . . .

Recently I´ve ended up saying that home is where I have family and/or friends (like this forum right now? - which means home ends up being a lot of places. It´s a kind of rootlessness I´m getting a bit tired of, but there´s really nothing I can do about it right now. The feeling of home is also helped by having a little something, even if it´s small (like a favorite ring) that I always carry with me. Kind of like Mary Poppins, not quite so magical. I´m looking forward to heaven, no more moving, and I actually like traveling, just getting kind of sick of it.

...ah, that was too depressing, even for me - thank heavens we don´t have to hang around this lonely planet for longer than necessary, what a future we have to look forward to!