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I want to tell you a story. It’s a true story. It doesn’t have a happy ending. You may not like it. Names have NOT been changed to protect the innocent. It may offend you.
But I hope it speaks for those who did NOT survive...as well as those who may YET be abused if nothing is done now. This is my story.
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“My blood ran cold and my body seemed to weigh a million pounds. My heart seemed stopped for what seemed like an eternity.
When I finally put the phone down...the words still rang in my ears...even though the truth just didn’t seem to register in my mind.
She was dead!”
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Wait! Hang on. Let me go back to the beginning so you know where I’m coming from. Otherwise it won’t all make sense or have the same impact.
Besides, all stories have a beginning and need to be told properly.
See, I did my time at Via. And I have mostly good memories. But it would be hard to sum up all my experiences in this short space. So, I think Charles worded it best many a year ago -- even though he never walked ‘The Land’.
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way."
And having such mixed feelings over life on ‘The Land’...going back at the end of the summer was always an insecure time. You didn’t know who was going to be there...and who wouldn’t be.
You’re My Wonderwall
This one particular summer was no different from all the others. I had fallen in love. But like most things in the MKs life...it came to an quick end. Just another ‘normal’ day in the life of an MK.
I say ‘normal’ because we are used to making new friends...and then saying our good-byes as we (or they) go on furlough, come back from furlough, head back into the bush, etc.
So, yeah...I was bummed out for a few days. I thought I would never fall in love again. But all that changed however, when I arrived back on ‘The Land’ for conference at the end of the summer.
I wasn’t that excited about being there...until I saw ‘her’. And then my whole world changed three shades of hue when she came into view.
Wuv...Twu Wuv
She was beautiful, spunky, friendly, full of life and laughter. We hit it off great. It was fun playing ‘Rook’ and ‘Grandma’...talking under the stars...eating popcorn...etc. Life was great!
Except for the part about being ‘spied on’ under the watchful eyes of those who were ‘faithful’ to ‘warn’ me not ‘hang around’ her as they were concerned about ‘evil influence’ of that ‘rebel teenage girl’ on my righteous soul.
But it was too late. I was a ‘goner’ the moment she told me that she liked me too. We both knew the summer would be over way to quickly...and we’d have to part ways.
So, even thought there was a lot of chemistry...we cherished and cultivated a strong bond of friendship more than anything. And, ‘No’...we never broke the 6” rule...except maybe accidently once or twice.
Even though we didn’t pursue a long-distance relationship...we did keep in touch through letters and over the phone.
Bye-Bye Miss American Pie
So, yeah! I knew she had some serious ‘issues’. However, nothing could have prepared me for the day I got the phone call that closed that chapter in my life forever.
My blood ran cold and my body seemed to weigh a million pounds. My heart seemed stopped for what seemed like an eternity.
When I finally put the phone down...the words still rang in my ears...even though the truth just couldn’t seem to register in my mind.
She was dead!
And the worst part was that she had done it to herself. She had taken her own life. Unable to face the pain any longer...she had committed suicide.
I have no idea...what horrible ‘monster’ brought such pain into her life -- that this was the only option she thought she had available.
I can only guess...although the horrific pain she suffered makes me afraid to wander far into my imagination.
Was she a victim of abuse? I really don’t know for sure. I don’t think anyone does.
But was she at Via when at least one of the aforementioned sexual predators walked freely on ‘The Land’ among us? Yes. She was. She and her friend were near his lair.
So, it isn’t hard to imagine what could have caused so much pain in her life that she would have wanted to end her own life at such a tender age...while in the prime of life.
To make the long story short...and spare you all the gory details...
She ended up in some dark, dingy hospital corridor...lying on a stretcher...screaming in agony...as the rat poison she had eaten did its dirty work from the inside out.
So, yes my heart bleeds for each of you in this forum who have shared your personal stories. I am glad that several of you have found freedom in spite of what happened.
Bizarre Love Triangle
I know most of you personally. I had a crush on ‘Survivor’ in 5th grade. I had a crush on ‘Courageous’ in 8th grade...even though I was painfully shy during that confusing time of ‘puberty’ and never would have admitted it to anyone.
It makes me wonder if every cute girl I ever had a crush on...were the targets of these ‘sheep in wolve’s clothing. How many others suffered at the hands of these evil perpetrators. I had no idea what you two were going through. And I am so sorry.
Although I am glad to hear that you both were able to get help and move on in life. I hurt to hear about what happen...yet I am pleased to know that you are ‘overcoming’ and are ‘victorious’.
And yet...I wonder about all those who we don’t know about yet.
• Those like my friend who did NOT survive.
• Those whose memories are repressed and can’t figure out what is wrong.
• Those who remember, but are still imprisoned by the fear and pain of the past.
What about those who now hate God, missionaries, church, and religion because of the hypocrisy and double-standards. What about those who spiraled deeper into bondage...in their escape from the past.
Who will speak out for them? Does no one care (except for Ornery)?
Everyone now knows what has been done. Much is out in the open. Yet every known perpetrator mentioned on this forum continues to walk freely among us...our families...and our children.
He’s Got The Whole World
I don’t even want to think that those in ‘leadership’ knew what these men had done and yet allowed them to walk freely among us...singing “He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands” (reference to Con Air).
If you haven’t seen it before...just watch this 55 second clip on Youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFFJhO90VN8
I understand the ‘mission’ not having wanted to admit these horrible things happened and trying to smooth things over in the past so as not to ruin their ‘reputation’ back in the day.
But 20 years later...it’s all out in the open now. The only way to preserve that ‘reputation’ is by acknowledging it and making a clean cut from those predators by putting them where they belong.
I understand the legal ramifications of acknowledging these past horrors...and possible financial setbacks.
But I don’t think most the victims who suffered are after that money. I don’t think they want to see the ‘mission’ as an organization punished. They aren’t after revenge on some faceless corporation!
We Don’t Want No Education
What they want is to see justice done. They want to see the ‘sexual predators’ where they belong. Somewhere where they can’t wreak havoc on the lives of other innocent children.
The blood of these victims...our daughters...our sisters...our friends...cry out. Not just for the past...but also for the future...so that others aren’t harmed...at least not by these same known ‘predators’ allowed to freely roam the face of the earth today.
When other victims see that justice is being done...maybe they too can find the freedom from fear to express their pain. Maybe then they can get help they need. Maybe it will happen before another victim’s seemingly only option is to take their own life.
I know that many in leadership today...may not have been around 20 years ago to have done anything about these situations. But sitting around now ‘whitewashing’ tombstones and dragging our feet will do no good.
Get those predators off the street...out of the Sunday school classroom...or anywhere else they might be ‘tempted’ to destroy some innocent child’s life.
I can understand how it might be easy to claim ‘innocence’ from the sins of those in leadership before you. But you must do something about what you do know now.
Otherwise all the blood of abused little girls and boys...from ‘Survivor’ and ‘Courageous’ until now --as well as the abuses possibly being committed right now by these ‘abusers’ who freely walk the streets carrying on with their evil deeds -- will also be upon your heads.
Sadly enough, since history tends to repeat itself...if these ‘sexual abusers’ aren’t dealt with...the abuses taking place today will only be known about 20 years from now.
Because not only will they continue to walk freely among us...they are more practiced in their tactics than ever before and will only get bolder and more aggressive in their attacks.
The Unchained Melody
On top of that...others who until now may have only been thinking about these same evil deeds but afraid to put them into practice...will begin to think that it is okay...it is acceptable...and that they too will go unpunished if they ever get caught.
They will see that others have gotten away with it before them...and be encouraged to do the same evil deeds themselves...which will only scar and destroy even more innocent lives.
And the mad cycle snowballs downhill...getting bigger...getting worse...and getting uglier.
How many more abuses have to be committed?
How many more stories have to come to light?
How much innocent blood must be spilled before something is done?
If any NTM leaders are reading this...please do everything you can to make sure these ‘sexual predators’ are unable to ever again hurt anyone else...whether another MK, some Sunday school kid, or maybe your own child/grandchild.
Let’s not be guilty of the sin of omission and become partakers of their guilt from this day forward.
A corrupt witness makes a mockery of justice; the mouth of the wicked gulps down evil. Punishment is made for mockers, and the backs of fools are made to be beaten. Proverbs 19: 27 - 28
May God bring swift healing and restoration to all who have been harmed.
May God grant wisdom to those in leadership to deal with the abusers and victims.
May God protect others from the evil of these sexual abusers.
This is my story. This is my hope. This is my prayer.
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