MK forum

Minimizing abuse that anyone has suffered is the same as re-victimizing the victim. It is pride that refuses to bend the knee and admit the sin. Never tell the victim "it wasn't that bad after all." Apologizing for the results of sin (separation) is not equivalent to confessing the sin done to the victim and recognizing the hurt caused. Re-victimizing also creates another barrier to reconciliation. Think about it!

Well said, Wise!!

XYZ: I know how you feel. I'm so sorry for your hurt. Just because an abuser or someone who has hurt you can't remember the abuse or hurt, doesn't mean that it didn't happen. You, who suffered the abuse or hurt, will know what was or what wasn't done to you. And oh how I know that feeling of people wanting to focus on all the good memories. But this means that you need to stuff your hurt and act like everything is fine when you're actually falling apart inside. That is not how someone heals. And if someone really loves you, won't they want to listen to your deepest hurts? I believe a repentant person will own up to all the ways in which they hurt you instead of trying to minimize your hurt. They will be willing to listen to your story and your memories, even if it's uncomfortable to them. I don't know your situation or if you have any support around you for this. I hope you do because you need people who will listen to you and will validate what you went through. Something that was so healing for me was when I went to a Christian counselor who specialized in sexual abuse cases. Because I had also been told through the years that I was "making a big deal over nothing" hearing my counselor validate what I experienced and having a "professional" who knows this stuff say that this was hugely significant made me feel so much better. I hope you are validated in what you've been through.

to XYZ - I am thankful that something I say may help someone in their hurting state. I slept very little last night as more hurt has come to us and my emotions "ran the gamut" from totally out of control to God's healing balm. Oh, how we need Him to give us direction in this mire and mess! I can identilfy a little with your parents because I feel so badly that my girls' remembrances of here are "tainted" by sin. I saw it in a more significant way and new light when I was making their memory books for them a few years ago. So many pictures of smiling faces but hurting hearts. So much hurting was going on that I didn't even know about. Oh, how that hurt me again! I cried a lot during those weeks, but it helped me to identify a little with the pain my girls suffered alone much of the time. That is my biggest regret, next to the fact of the sin happening, that I wasn't able to help carry that burden and pain. Only God knows why and probably only on the other side of eternity will we understand. And today, if I can, may I help to carry your pain as well as yours. I am a shoulder for you and a hug when you need it. If you want to contact me by email you can, or just here is fine. Please do take Survivor's advice and try to see a counselor who understands this abuse and get the help you need. Even if your folks don't understand, seek the help you need. You will be glad that you did. I will be praying for you and for your family.

Wise 2 Late: Thank you for "standing in the trenches" with me. I'm not sure what shape I'd be in without your support.

I'm writing today because I have gotten so much support from you all on this forum and now I need your support more than ever. My desire has always been to speak truth and have truth heard and believed. I want to be the voice for other victims who may not feel ready to have their own voices heard but who are hurting none the less.
Because of telling my story on this forum, Steve's daughter has now written their own documentation of their story. I know some of you have read this letter. I came across this and in reading it I found 7 things that weren't true. The biggest lie told was that there were only three victims, the abuse happened only one time per victim, and that the touch lasted only seconds. Almost as if the touch was an accident for which he was completely repentant of after it happened.
My cousin says she wants to know the truth so badly which was her reason for documenting it. Since we are speaking truth then I would like to clarify that my abuse was not documented correctly. I was molested four times. Three of those times the fondling, caressing, and touching lasted for maybe half an hour. It was not merely an accidental touch that lasted a second. There was also a time that Steve exposed himself to me while he and I were the only two people at the pool. Again, this did not last only a second and he had an erection. I did not understand what I was seeing or what was going on. I was very uncomfortable and finally moved to the other end of the pool. Also when I was in high school I remember two times that Steve made comments about my body while visually scanning my body up and down. I felt as if I stood naked before him. This is what happened to me. I know the other victims have their own stories to tell and I will leave that up to them.

I have mentioned before how over the years I have been told that "I'm making a big deal out of nothing" and that I have been seen as trying to destroy our extended family. So today I want to show you guys first hand what this has been like for me. I found out that Steve sent a letter to his supporters. He did this before we could get a chance to, I'm sure so that he could get his story out there first. Oh well, truth will prevail regardless. anyway, I'm going to copy here the letter he sent out.

Dear ones,

This is a followup to the previous annexed letter from Cynthia and our
team. I want to write this email, to give further info as to some of the
reasons why we sent out the earlier letter.

As you can imagine, our hearts are quite heavy and there have been many
tears shed...again. We do not want to be paralyzed by this, so will
trust God to bring forth fruit from the ashes of the enemy's burning
darts, and turn this around to the salvation of many. God knows every
future step of the enemy, so pray much for our sensitivity to the Holy
Spirit's leading.

Again, I am sorry for all this painful information from the past, and
have truly repented and am walking in integrity. Pray for "first niece",
and the lawyer, and others like them, who have scars and bitterness from
wicked actions in the past. Pray for their true encounter with our Healer.

First off, I want you to know that our team is more united than ever.
Though these recent events have forced me (us) to once again review
these hurtful and difficult things from my past, I know God is totally
sovereign and has allowed them to come up again. We have determined to
trust Him for the future of Light in Action and will take whatever steps
necessary to follow His lead through the days ahead.

One week and 5 days ago, the "first niece" (posting anonymously as
"survivor") posted her "exposure of me as a pedophile" on a forum
supposedly set up for that purpose. One of our team members found out
about it, and we all looked at what she and others had posted. Her post
was quite twisted, insinuating things that never happened, and tries to
implicate our whole family and team of coverups and evil motives. It was
extremely hurtful, deceitful and her bitterness and apparent desire for
vengeance was covered by a thin veneer of self-righteousness and
supposed justification for her actions. Many other additional replies
there from like-minded people, were also hateful, vengeful, and bent on
destruction and inflicting pain.

She has apparently joined with a lawyer "posting anonymously as
ornerythornery", another embittered and vengeful MK (his sister
apparently was abused many years ago by someone at Via). He contacted
Brazilian and American authorities with respect to several NTM/MNTB
"abusers", and is vigorously pursuing legal action against them. I am on
his list as well, and he is apparently planning action against me that
could affect our team. She is also attempting to contact my (our)
supporters and "warn them" against me (though almost all of them already
knew of these things 12 years, as explained in Cynthia's letter).

I am resigning as president of Light in Action (effectively
immediately), in an attempt to protect our team and organization. This
seems wise at the moment, and we are taking other actions as necessary
to protect this godly ministry and very special outreach. We have
contacted a number of local believers and friends (a pastor, a lawyer,
etc.) and they also have received the same letter as you. We plan to
meet with them and discuss these things.

Please pray much for us, as this is very clearly an attempt by our enemy
to destroy the special team God has brought together for His purposes.
Jonathan Enns joined us a few days ago, but already knew about these
things before coming (and choose to come anyway).

We need and covet your prayers for us through these difficult days.
Someday there will be no pain and suffering and our sinful natures will
be gone and never again have the power to hurt.

In the view of the Lion,

Stephen Armour
and the Light in Action team

This man is clearly twisted. How difficult for you! I'm so sorry. Truth will indeed prevail and can set you free. Can you message me with more info?

I'm so sorry, survivor. But I applaud you for going forth even in the light of this most recent attack.

I believe he will be fully exposed for what he is once everything comes out, and I pray that the others who were abused by him will come forth with the truth.