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I am one of the other victims of Steve Armour. My sexual abuse first happened after Survivor’s when I was in 3rd grade. At least that is the first time he molested me. However, I am sure the grooming happened much sooner. The Armours were fun to be with, they took you camping, played monster, and had such a fun kid environment it was hard not to like it there. But when the abuse happened, I too had the feeling that Survivor and many other victims will have. “Is this wrong? Why would someone who loves me, hurt me? I can’t tell, he told me not to.” Our mom was so close to Sonia, that I didn’t want to be responsible for breaking up the family or hurting people’s feelings. The problem with this is that it wasn’t my actions or me... I was the victim. The aftermath of abuse is due to the actions (sins) of the abusers. I still didn’t understand full well what had happened but I know I didn’t like being around Steve so I started to separate myself from them as much as I could. Like Survivor, even though I was out of reach, he still looked at me and said things that were inappropriate or tried to belittle me in front of others. The scary thing is that when he abused me sexually it was always “out in the open.” It was never alone in a room with the door closed...that is how skilled he was as an abuser. The sexual abuse occurred from when I was 8 years old until about 11. My parents found out when I was in 10th grade on furlough. That is when the Armours were kicked off the field and then they went against their home churches’ advice, refused professional counseling and returned to Brazil to start a new ministry.
I used to think I would take this information with me to the grave. I thought I would never tell, worried that I would hurt others by the truth. I pretended that all was well, that “we were the perfect missionary family, that I was the perfect missionary kid, and that all would be fine.” I wasn’t fine! Even after it was known (within the family) that I was abused I still didn’t feel that I was allowed to be pissed off about it. There didn’t seem to be a safe place for me to scream, cry, yell profanities, and be angry about what happened. It is important to be able to go through these natural and healthy steps to heal. However, it is important that victims get counseling and start to heal so that they don’t remain in a state of anger and only think of themselves as victims. There is too much hope for us to remain is such a bleak state!
About Sonia: I feel sorry for her. She didn’t ask to have a husband who would do these things to children. I am sure she has questions and feels hurt. And for that I am sorry. However, she has defended Steve and his decisions to run from his sin. She is essentially an accomplice.
About Steve. Yes, it pains me that he has hurt so many that we know of (and perhaps more we don’t know of). Many think I am bitter and upset and won’t let this “issue” rest. To those people I would like to say this: What about who hurt Steve? What hurt was caused in his young life that he now acts out against others? Doesn’t anyone want him to find healing for the hurt and sins done against him as a child? He refuses to get godly accountability and extensive counseling. His ministry is “too important” to get help with his sexual sin and to find healing in his own hurts. It is so sad!
I am sure it isn’t easy to be in any of these situations. The Victim, The Abuser, The
Accomplice, but each of them can find hope and healing! The victim needs to learn that what used to be coping mechanism (survival skills) can become habits of sin, the abuser needs to realize the pattern of sexual sin and find true accountability and healing by a godly leader, the accomplice needs to know that loyalty is to the Truth and not to a person.
PS. Sunshine, I too was helped by Sonia with the Challenge Center. I will forever be grateful for the help she provided for me in that area of my life.
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