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PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 6:03 pm 
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Posts: 266
survivor wrote:
Have you ever heard of chemical castration? It's a shot or medicine that they will give abusers and it's supposed to temper the urges they have. Problem is, once they stop taking it, those urges come back. I read an absolutely horrible but true story of a guy in a mental place who was being chemically castrated. Once he left there though, those urges all returned. he assumed a new identity, moved into a nice neighborhood and the abuse continued with the neighborhood kids. When he was finally caught, no one could believe it because he was just the nicest guy.

And unfortunately, I don't think castration works. The urges are physical, but I believe primarily, they are psychological and so deeply entrenched as to cause such deviant behavior. Which is why, as you said survivor, that accountability is so critical.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 6:10 pm 
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Mrs.M- you absolutely got it right when you said "the abuser would welcome accountability if he were truly repentant" which is why I feel so strongly that Steve is not "cured" of this. He wants us to just accept that he's a changed man, that God did a miracle in his life, and yet there aren't any guidelines at all that he needs to hold up to. In fact, a relative said to me, "Don't you think God is powerful enough to change Steve without any outside help?" I said, No, it's not that I don't trust God can do that, I don't trust human nature. It's total foolishness to just believe an abuser when they say they've changed.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 6:20 pm 
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being christian has nothing to do with creeps who have no morals!! none of you can separate religion. they don't care if they are christian. they didn't care if I was christian. only thing can save them from their hunger of kids is death. be real here!! :roll: :roll:


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 6:21 pm 
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survivor wrote:
Mrs.M- you absolutely got it right when you said "the abuser would welcome accountability if he were truly repentant" which is why I feel so strongly that Steve is not "cured" of this. He wants us to just accept that he's a changed man, that God did a miracle in his life, and yet there aren't any guidelines at all that he needs to hold up to. In fact, a relative said to me, "Don't you think God is powerful enough to change Steve without any outside help?" I said, No, it's not that I don't trust God can do that, I don't trust human nature. It's total foolishness to just believe an abuser when they say they've changed.



Keep it up survivor!!!


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 6:25 pm 
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sonnet wrote:
being christian has nothing to do with creeps who have no morals!! none of you can separate religion. they don't care if they are christian. they didn't care if I was christian. only thing can save them from their hunger of kids is death. be real here!! :roll: :roll:


:) way to say bud!!


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 6:32 pm 
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thank you Yunker!! I like your boldness and you don't seem crazy and knackered :D :D :D


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 7:11 pm 
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sonnet wrote:
thank you Yunker!! I like your boldness and you don't seem crazy and knackered :D :D :D



LOl no I am not, I just know the inner workings of religion and how it has been used to keep people silent when abused. Reality is we have lots of abusers all over the world but more and more they are in a christian setting, why? because its the perfect breeding ground for abuse. If one knows enough of the bible to use against someone and they have bad intentions, they are deadly. Some of these guys and hate to burst your bubble, really feel it is OK and they are OK with God. That as long as they are saving people and doing Gods work nothing can cause them harm because they are fulfilling the greatest calling, giving up all for him. They have become in their minds little saviors held accountable by no one.

"knackered" haven't heard that on in awhile :)


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 7:43 pm 
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COURAGEOUS wrote:
...there are so many things that happened that I have completely blocked out. While I remember the abuse, I have tended to forget a good part of my childhood. Probably just to cope!!


During college, I finally told a pastor a little about what happened at Via. I remember two things on two separate occasions: 1) He got angry. 2) In response to my not being able to "feel" anything, he basically said that numbness wasn't always bad - it was a coping mechanism, an emotional shut down to survive.

I'll never forget that someone got angry. I wasn't just brushed aside.

"Gracious" courageous, I know who you are! much love aa


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 7:47 pm 
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COURAGEOUS wrote:
Memories, you are so brave too. Please don't ever think that for one minute you are responsible for anything that happened to me or anyone else. You tried to speak and were ignored!



Dittos. much love,aa


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 8:11 pm 
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Ai, arara azul, once I realized you weren´t a son, I knew which daughter you are - good for you, I´m glad you came! and somehow the arara azul is exactly the name I´d pick for you. Love you!

This may illustrate what was being talked about above by sonnet, survivor and others:
My uncle was accused of sexual harassment by a teenage pupil of his (the harassment - she considered him to have said inappropriate things - made her feel uncomfortable). Without going into did he or didn´t he, o que não vem ao caso for my point here - he had a life change about 2 years ago - and it had nothing to do with religion (ie: a set of rules that one follows to belong to a certain group). It would see he understood who he was in God´s eyes and he began a true relationship with him. I heard about it, but withheld judgment until I saw and could say for myself. This is my uncle now - he rebuilt his office/tutor area so that one side is a clear glass wall/sliding door, mostly which he leaves open unless his house is too noisy because they always have so many people over. He never tutors when his wife´s not home. When he tutors at other peoples places, he always requests to be in a well traveled area and with other family members home. On an aside, he also treats his wife whole lot better, so much so that she now actually wants to stay with him for the rest of her life. It would seem that he now knows himself better and knows how untrustworthy he can be. Religion was something that he had before and it will do nothing to change someone. His new perspective of himself has changed his attitudes and actions. And as someone who believes that God is interested in us, I think God gave him that new perspective. I loved my uncle before because he was family, I actually like my uncle now.

I would have a hard time sharing space with the person that abused me - but he did a whole lot more than make me feel uncomfortable. However, the only way that I would say, "this person has changed" is if he were to take actions similar to what my uncle did - in his case, never again be involved in anything to do with anyone under 20 - also maybe announce his past in his neighborhood and his work place - I think I saw that idea somewhere on this forum.

I wanted to tell this true story because I know God can work and change people, but that doesn´t mean that old habits and vices disappear - and also because I hate seeing religion mixed up with God- but that´s an age old problem, isn´t it?

Was that too mixed up? Sorry, I tend to talk in circles, so I´ve had friends tell me.


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