MK forum

I regret naming M.T. since I was going on 2nd hand facts - albeit one of his own offspring. Please strike from the record until substantiated or disproved.

Conflicted: I am M's daughter. I can tell you that he never punished us this way. I can only guess which brother may have told you that. (grin) My dad is a man of many faults which I assure you, I have pretty much pointed all of them out to him. But, for the record, he never punished kids like that.
As to the comment about his house, I think that was very undeserving. Have you realized as an adult how people prioritize their money? Some people spend more on their homes, or vacations, or recreation or clothes, or electronics. We all choose what we want to spend our money on as far as what is important to us. My parents did not spend a lot of money on dates, vacations, clothing etc but they did save for years in order to build that house. They also supported other Brazilian missionaries. And their house has been used for ministry. There have always been people welcomed in their home. Countless people have stayed there. They were not selfish with their money or resources.
Like I said before, my parents weren't and aren't perfect. They have repented to their own kids for many things they have done. If they have hurt you in some way, please get in touch with them and allow them the chance to acknowledge what they did to you and to ask your forgiveness. That is the only way that we find healing. Don't let your anger over justified hurts run over into areas that are not justified.

Thank you, Conflicted and Survivor, for your comments. It is important, as you have said, to state what you KNOW, not just what you have heard! I appreciate your candor in this matter!

My brother recently called up an old dorm parent (and current NTM member), from Via, and talked to him about a beating he got years and years ago! Can you imagine the fear in his heart- wondering how that person would react, and still wanting to face the 'demons' in his past, to stop carrying the pain? That dorm dad did not remember this event, but he quickly and humbly asked for my brother's forgiveness. They went on to have a long, healing conversation. My brother called me Saturday to tell me about the phone call (at my request) and I heard a noticeable difference in him. He had confronted someone who hurt him, had been asked forgiveness, and had given it!

As adults, we can all look at our own actions, and sometimes they aren't so pretty either. Triggered by stress, physical problems (headaches, lack of sleep, chronic pain), or grief, we can act harshly, say hateful things, and be (yes!) abusive, even though we know it is wrong. Okay, so I can only speak for myself. When I lost my daughter, there were days, as I was healing from the hurt that it caused, that I acted in a way that I had to, afterwards, ask forgiveness for. I call that the "ugly side of grief." And still, I must admit, we are responsible for our own actions, and must deal with the consequences of them, regardless of what instigated that behavior.

So, if you are able, please call or write to the person that has harmed you. Ask them if they remember the incident and allow them an opportunity to ask your forgiveness. You can't imagine the weight that will be lifted from your shoulders, and from your soul!

Please know I am not advocating you contact someone who has sexually abused you or repeatedly physically harmed you. There is a different protocol altogether for dealing with those issues! (First, tell someone you trust--if no one else, at least G.R.A.C.E). Physically abusive people and pedophiles will rarely, if ever, admit what they have done. They will often blame their victims, and shirk any personal responsibility.

Survivor, I appreciate your insight regarding the major interventions needed to recuperate a sexual predator/offender! (See "Name that Pedophile" thread) You are spot on!

[quote="Conflicted"]D, I hope you're not lurking about under one of the dozens of aliases. You did your share of screwing with kids' minds - especially young boys."

Conflicted: Could you clarify who "D" is. I have a sneaking suspicion, but I don't want to suggest anything.

Conflicted: When you are ready, we are here to listen. Emotions run high, but that's the nature of the topic at hand. I'm sure there is hurt behind that anger, and a story behind the hurt. We can take it. Let it out!

hey this is pav, I never ever do this, this being, chat,e-mail, facebook, myspace. I have never even sent a text message. but I heard about this chatter going on in the world wide web and some of it had to do with me. So I stayed up last night with a broken heart reading your stories and thoughts. I deeply identified with some of your feelings and via storys. I just need to clear a few things up. Lets start with Mr Scott Wiesle, how is that spelled. anyways. The time he flipped out on me during music. Which did totally humiliate me. and I will admit I sometimes think "man I should have just given that twitchy dude the finger and waltzed on out of there" but I didn't. Anyways that is beside the point. What was overlooked by Conflicted was that soon after that episode came an apologe from Scott to the entire high school then later in tears asking my forgiveness. I will never forget that. ---the other bit I have to comment on is this idea that my dad 'tortured' me by having me kneel on rice. Ok-- let me start by saying this. If you ever were punished at Via or anywhere for that mater, by being forced to kneel on rice. my heart goes out to you, it is incredibly painful, I know because I did it once at home. Now most of you won't get this, you might if you know me, and you probable would if we had a talk over coffee. You see I disobeyed my dad once, it was minor, he knew it and I knew it but for some reason he laid a punishment on me that I felt as a preteen that was a little over the top. So I informed him of this which he countered with a form of punishment from the "old times" think kaki shorts and safari hats. Kneeling on uncooked rice, or if they are really going to torture you it will be rock salt. So I laughed at the idea. and said like an idiot "I'll do the rice thing over the grounding thing," So for 5 min. I knelt there scream laughing with my dad because it hurt like fire. So Conflicted we laughed about it then because it was funny and I laugh about it now cause its funny. and the bit about the swirly is total fabrication. my dad and I had a poor relationship for most off my life at home I was his hardest kid to control. like my sis said my dad made a lot of mistakes. but between he and I a lot of healing has come. through deep conversations and tough questions. Now the last thing I have to say to Conflicted, is when you start throwing mud you get your hands dirty and you lose a lot of ground. don't bring that crap about "I wonder what Ms supporters would say about his big house and pool yada yada yady. That bit is so old and used up by every sour new triber whos got a little case of the envys. his supporters say "nice fat house M, now heres that pretty nickle we promised. Ok maybe a little heavy but Im really sick of that. I guess what Im trying to say is don't talk about stuff that you know nothing about. Once those feathers area out there in the wind, the are hard to go and gather again.
well I have probable offended and slandered enough for an evening. Hope to cross paths with all you guys sometime here on this earth. love pav

Good words pav. Your fake name says it all. (Sent from my web-enabled phone with nasa/star trek capibilities)... you always did own cool.

pav, do you have an email? or how can you be contacted. I noticed your online now, if you post it then delete your post that's fine so that information does not remain available or you can email me at empathetic@yahoo.com