MK forum

When I was going through counseling, I wrote a letter to NTM about the abuse that I suffered at the hands of Frank Parker. I got three letters in reply. I can't find the one from the lawyer, but here are the other two. I thought some of you might want to read them.


June 8th, 2004

Dear Ruth,

Oli is traveling right now, but I wanted to at least get a note off to you, sot that you realized that the E.C read it, and are taking it seriously.

We have asked Scott Ross to write you and bring you up to date on what steps he has taken from a legal point of view. Frank Parker passed away during the time that Scott has been here at Sanford.

Also, we asked Stan Donmoyer to drop you a letter since he knows the Brazil situation very well. Ruth, I am so sorry that you had to experience the sad story of the Parker dorm. No young child should ever have to cope with such fear and unhappiness, let alone children of a missionary dorm.

May our dear Lord Jesus heal your heart and the many other hearts that were devastated during those day.

Your's in Christ's rich grace, Bryan Coupland, Personnel Director



June 11, 2004

Dear Ruth,

Thank you for your honest, heartfelt letter of May 11th. It was very articulately and graciously written.

It arrived the day before I left for Africa and I am sorry that for that reason, I was not able to answer you sooner. I just arrived back the day before yesterday so want to answer right away. All the men on the excecutive committee have read your letter with deep concern and sorrow but I wanted to write to you as I was field chairman during part of the time those things occurred. I ask your forgiveness personally, and for us as a Mission. This weighs heavily onmy heart as I was in leadership on the field when these things happened.

I am more deeply saddened than I can express in words, for what happened to you and some of the other children that were in the dorm at that time.

I ams so glad that you have found good, Biblical counsel and have allowed the Lord to bring about healing that only He can give.

There were many things that we did not know about abuse at that time or we would have acted very differently. We did not know the signs of abuse. This is not an excuse. Our naivety caused you to suffer so much and this is what I regret so terribly. You lost the opportunity to live a joyful, carefree childhood because of what happened and nothing can restore that to you. Indelible marks have been left on your mind that cannot be erased unless God brings that about. As you mentioned, it has even affected your marriage. By the testimony of your letter, the Lord has brought healing to you which is wonderful, but your childhood innocence and joy were lost and are not recoverable.

When we realized what was happening, I was involved with dealing with the situation. Frank was immediately removed from working at Vianopolis and held accountable for the abuse he committed. Shortly after that, as we were dealing with the matter, the Parkers had to return to the states because of his cancer. I talked with the Parkers many times about what he had done but do not know if he truly repented.

You have mentioned some things that I am not sure if we are fully aware of. As Frank has passed away, I do not know if there is a reason to learn more of those details unless they would be of value in helping some of the other children. I realize that every time these things are recounted, it dredges up old pain. I leave that to your discretion, Ruth.

You asked if we were aware that other children were abused by Frank. We are aware of several but do not know if there are others we are not aware of. Scott Ross, our Mission attorney, is writing to you also and it might be wise to let him know of those you are aware of so we can compare your list with ours to see if there are some we still need to contact and inquire if they are needing help. It is our desire in any such situation to try to help in any way, all those who have suffered. Scott will also tell you of all the steps we have taken as a Mission (and they are quite extensive) to avoid any such cases as this again. He will answer each one of your questions.

Thank you, Ruth, for writing to us. We will be praying for you, that the Lord will continue to bring healing in your life, and that He will use you to be a help to others. As I have learned so much about abuse during these last five year, I am appalled to realize how many women - and men - there are who have been abused and whose lives have been scarred. May God give us wisdom to be able to help them. We are doing all we can as a Mission to avoid this happening again in any of our schools or our works.

Lovingly in Christ,
Stan Donmoyer

Neither was he removed from working at Via - he should have gone to the States on the first plane, but I understand that he continued on at Via in Maintenance - on the same campus where his victims lived! Also, I remember clearly what was read in chapel to us - it said nothing about abuse, stating that his crimes were that he was a bit harsh, using authority unwisely.

ok, jail, then...rsrsrs, that made me laugh, can you imagine, Frank Parker in the little Vianopolis jail - what a situation - ai, that would have gotten complicated

Understand, I´m not laughing cynically, or anything, it just truly make me chuckle to think of Frank Parker behind bars in a dustly little small town jail.

Do they count removal from the little dorm as being held accountable? Or maybe reading a statement in chapel about him? From my memory of that statement, it was a whole lot less harsh than other statements made about "rebellious" students - and "rebellious" students were stalked and hounded a whole lot more than he was.

Oh for the Love of Pete!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Interesting that I never received such a comforting letter. "Garbage" was the correct word used. So what does being removed from Via actually mean??? Was that his evil twin brother that I had to endure seeing beebop on his bike every day for a while? Gracious, he was given safe haven until God's swift justice took over his life and he went back to the US by his own free will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And let me clear something else up, Stan, he came to my house in Anapolis with a very nonrepentant attitude. Saying things like I had misunderstood him and that he loved me. IF that doesn't define SICK, then I don't know what does. This was at least 5 months after he was removed from the dorm. So he had complete freedom to roam and sicken all those around him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to agree that however the leaders dealt with Frank Parker, it just wasn't enough. I remember being in the little dorm and one day he was there and the next we were all told that someone else would be taking care of us for a while. We weren't given an explanation and we didn't know what was happening. It was freeing though. I think everyone was much happier and relieved with him gone. It was never really explained why the Parkers were no longer going to be our dorm parents. We were told that he was disciplining too harsley but we were just left hanging, not understanding anything. Then they were still around campus all the time.