MK forum

Memories, I think you can find Joann Parker who now is Joann Hubbard on Facebook.

Here´s something that what Hurtnhopeful said reminded me of - Before talking to the board, I had been visiting the little dorm - and I hadn´t gone with the intention of spying. I got to know Joan Parker a bit and accusing her husband was extra hard for me because of that - I knew our relationship was over - in fact, I never talked to her again. I was afraid of what she´d say to me and she also most likely thot that the friendship we ended up having was false - when it actually wasn´t. I liked/like Joan Parker, I think she was trapped, I assume she couldn´t face the consequences of doing the right thing. For those who are married, I think you can understand how difficult it would be to act independently, especially after decades of marriage and not understanding your place as a women in God´s eyes in that relationship. I may get some backlash for this, but please don´t hunt down Frank Parker´s family - they were/are victims too. There´s a possibility that even Frank Parker was a victim at some point, to make him into who he was. I want to see justice done, I want to see these perpetrators stopped, I´m going to try to do what I can from where I am right now, but please don´t hunt down Joan (or Joanna?) Parker. Just the fact that she´s not going by her married name might suggest something. Then again, maybe she needs healing too, but lets take it slowly.

I want to add to what Sunshine said: Joan married again. Her new husband's name is Frank Hubbard. He is the sweetest, gentlest man! Growing up, I remember A. Joan always having a sad sort of smile. When I saw her a few years ago, she glowed. She's finally being treated with care and concern and it shows!

Yes, I believe she was a victim. Yes, I believe everyone who came into contact with Frank was a victim. But, I'm also learning, through difficult circumstances in our family, that being a victim does not always negate our personal responsibility to do what is right.

My questions about how much she knew stem from a heart that desperately wants to believe that she was unaware, or at least deceived. I grieve for the burden she must carry, while at the same time grieving for the pain her husband caused each of you. I don't know what to say beyond that.

Were you not all victims, and somehow many of you seemed to find the courage to report the abuse. Maybe she did know but just did not want to handle it. Maybe that is why she spent bath time at someone elses dorm sipping coffee. Because she knew what was going on during that time and chose to close her eyes. You cannot go after the EC because they knew and did nothing and then give someone else a free ride. I agree, if a little 9 year old boy knew of the horror enough to stand up for the girls, than I find it hard to believe that she did not know.

The problem with the wives is that unless they actually told someone about the abuse when it was happening or if a child comes forward and says that she sat in the room watching him abuse the child there really is no way of proving that she did know anything. It is all speculation. I can only asume that that is why Mrs. B is not indicated in the lists from Fanda. One person said that Mrs B. acted like she hated the girls. One could assume that she hated the girls because whe knew what her husband was doing with them, but again no proof. Maybe, Kari, you would know the reason that she was not named on the lists to be fired, that stuck me as odd.

Oh, my heart is so sore for you all. I am an MK from a different mission and have positive memories of boarding school. But I could so easily have been in your shoes. I am so angry with those evil people and angry with the administration that let htis continue. What they both did was evil.

Sue them. Expose the evil. You are no longer powerless children, you are adults and can act. The evil people need punishment. Do not let them get away with this - the perpetrators and the passive people that let it happen. Make a statement so loud that other abusers will be frightened and people that might otherwise be passive will help the children. Roar. Roar!

The mission needs to act and y'all who are insiders need to keep their feet to the fire until they follow the Grace recommendations re Fanda - all of the recommendations. Publicity is good. It will make the other schools safer. But you, yourselves, can take action. Don't wait for the mission and don't wait for the Grace report. Punish the evil man yourselves. Roar. Make a mighty noise and use teeth to bite.

I do not know what the consequences of biting would be, but Grace does. They have proven to be good counselors. Ask them. Follow their advice and please, let outsiders know how we can help. God be with you all.

I just wanted to say that I feel sorry for Joan (Parker) Hubbard. Frank is dead so he can't answer for what he's done. Just think of how upset and disgusted his family must be to now know what their father and husband was.

I am of heavy heart to hear of the abuse suffered at Via. I was totally oblivious to what was going on, but with context and my old yearbooks, have pieced together who some of you are and I am so sorry for your pain. And to my dear friend, Ruth, my heart is heavy because you suffered. I do recall a couple of times you complaining about a particular situation in the little dorm when you used to “follow me around”, as you put it, but I am so sorry I didn’t take time to really listen to what you were saying (although by that time our family was kind of on the outs with leadership too). I have shed tears on your behalf and those I knew but were too young to be "friends" and have lifted you before the Lord and will continue to do so.

I didn't suffer the sexual abuse at Via, but I do recall the feelings some of you have shared about other abuses. I too remember being ridiculed publically - one teacher made fun of me every day I came into her class. (I was sick to my stomach at lunch as one year her class was right after lunch.) There was the teacher who I felt I could do nothing right for regardless and he always called me out publically and always complained to my parents about me for things even my parents thought were petty. Our education was also very one-sided and for spiritual reasons (at least that’s what I was told when I was in college and had opportunity to inquire about it although it made no sense) there were blatant things that we were not taught in our history classes because there was no accountability and the teacher could teach what he/she wanted to teach.

I also recall that things are the NTM way or it’s the highway, no middle ground and anyone who had a personal thought or question was considered unspiritual. There was a lot of gossip - adults about other adults - but yet they expected us to always get along and treat each other with respect. I remember asking my mom why she didn't speak up with the way she was talked about so. She gave a "godly" answer, but I figured she was probably afraid of retaliation. There was always a spiritual answer for everything that was done whether it was right or wrong.

My parents were dorm parents there for a short period of time. I know they worked hard to fit into the NTM “scene” and I recall overhearing conversations where dad told mom that that was the “way” things were to be done based on how things ran at the Land. (Again, that gives no excuse for any injustice and I do thank the Lord for a very open relationship with my parents where we can and have discussed things from my childhood perspective and I can now say my mom is my best friend.) When I spoke with them today, they were not aware of what had been reported.

So where my heart is heavy for my friends who suffered abuse, it is also heavy in anticipation that my parents may have been a source of “abuse” to others of you who were in the dorm with them. I pray that that is not the case, but know if there are things I would have liked to have seen handled differently (that I have discussed with my parents and we have hashed out), there may be others of you out there who also feel the same way.

@ Pretty:

Thanks for that post. That took a lot of courage and a willingness to put yourself and (if necessary) your parents out there for accountability. I have no idea who you are, but the transparency you've shown, if replicated by others in leadership, would do much to defuse an already ticking "time bomb" that NTM might have to face with regards to undealt with abuse that occurred at the Vianopolis school.

Again, my thanks for your post . . . .