MK forum

quote]

Hi Sheri,

Thanks for this insight. I think this happens to a lot of us MK's. When we think about friends who got the worse end of the stick we tend to minimise our own experiences. There is a voice in our heads saying, "What right do you have to complain when others went through so much more?" We hurt for them, but forget to hurt for ourselves.

Or maybe it's just me that thinks like this. What do others think?
quote]

I feel this way too Benjamin

Like I've said I don't think the mission will do anything till it is forced to. What the mission is probably doing now is hunkering down and waiting for all this to blow over. It's up to the former mks and their families and friends to make sure it doesn't blow over. The best thing would be a GRACE report on Via. All victims stay anonymous in the report, only the perpetrators are named.

I was at Via during one of the years Frank Parker was there, but I wasn't in the little dorm. I hadn't thought of the man in decades, now I keep seeing him bouncing along, he had a strange bouncy walk. He was my history teacher, I think. A minor question considering what happened, but why was a non-licensed teacher teaching? He once said I was to appear at the little dorm so he could 'whip' me, but I refused to go so he made me wash all the little dorm windows. This memory has come back after decades.

I was expelled at the end of the school year, so whilst I was being dealt with for being rebellious and daring to ask 'why', there was pedophile across the lane and noone was doing anything about it. It's so revolting!! I am disgusted!

I think it would be interesting to have documented how many years he was dorm parent. In other words, this didn't happen only during one semester, but over a long period of time. It went on and on and there were signs being repeatedly ignored. This also should be documented.

There was also a mention of homosexual abuse. If this was a case of an adult abusing someone underage, it should be reported if possible. I say 'if possible' because it depends on people being willing to visit the dark places in their childhoods.

Were some decades worse than others? Was violence more prevalent in one decade and then petered out? Was sexual abuse more common during a certain period? I think this is important because it's probably related to mission policy, mission leaders - who they were, how missionaries were chosen in the NTM. In other words, what created the twisted environment that existed, at least when I was at Via, and that in turn created violence - physical, emotional, spiritual, and opened the door for sexual abuse? What happened?

That's why a neutral report would be so good. Who asks for a report? The mission or the victims?

Way to go, Courageous and momof4, I wish I could hug you guys right now - I´m so glad you posted. This will encourage the others! I love you guys!

Courageous and Momof4,

Words can't say how proud I am of you. No doubt, there are others out there who have carried their burdens alone and now they will read your stories and they will have new courage to tell their story!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are so brave...I'm speechless!

Please know there are many praying for you!

Mom of Courageous, Momof4, and Ornery Thornery
For me words are inadequate—to use a trite, but very real expression. The scars of what my three daughters and son suffered at Via can never be obliterated. This mom of my precious four MK’s failed. Hindsight is painful and overwhelming, but it can never be compared with what my precious children and you other precious MK’s have experienced. Yes, I wish I had kept you at home. I have often said that sending you to Via was the hardest thing I ever did, but my suffering in no way can compare with yours. May no stone be left unturned in revealing all with full recognition of how we failed you.

You are loved and appreciated "Mom" of "Courageous, OT, Mof4"!!!! Don't EVER doubt that, for a minute!!!

From our family to yours . . . .

Aunt "mom of courageous, mof4, OT", thank you so much for writing, I´m not even sure why I´m crying, but I think it has to do with you writing in. I can´t tell you how much you doing that validates what happened, puts it on a recognizable plane where it can be dealt with. I love you and if there´s anyone I wouldn´t want to be hurt by all of this, it would be you (and your husband). Thank you and may the God of mercy and healing be with you as you deal with this. Não é por nada que a sra tem os filhos que tem, aprenderam de alguém

Geez, I'm crying too! I was just talking to my little brother and sil and wondered if you would write . . .I know you feel like you failed, well, that is the human condition. As the mother of a 16 year old I'm finding it incredibly challenging and am already looking back on the preschool years, wishing I had done things differently then . . .so what I'm saying is that if you continue to be this hard on yourself we will be forced to come down and do an intervention! I absolutely believe that you did what you thought was best at the time. And now you are doing the best thing for now, supporting and working towards a new goal. We all are . . .

Just think how proud they are of you now, for joining with them! My parents feel the same way-that they failed us. The funny thing is, we don't feel that way. We no longer hold them responsible. They simply did what they were asked to do, and we never doubted their love for us, even while we suffered. It was the system, and the system failed. We are all suffering because of it.

I love you. I'm proud of you too.

Oh Ornery,

I'm so sorry for the abuse you had to suffer. Any kind of abuse is unacceptable and have long term affects. I know with me, I tend to get easily riled whenever my child/ren are wronged. I take it personally and want to right the wrong. When I went through counseling, I finally understood why. I didn't have someone stand up and fight for me, but I won't ever allow my child/ren to be hurt and not fight for them. I don't want them to ever think that I didn't care. I'm sorry for the pain you had to suffer for your own sake. You know how much I grieve for the pain your sisters have gone through over the years.

Memories