The best thing that happened to me in terms of my own abuse was time - that was a good thing - but also making a clean breast of it - and it doesn´t mean I have to sharpie sign my abuse on my forehead, it just means I admit it, deal with it (and keep dealing with it, apparently) and keep moving on. That´s what I´d love to see happen to you, and this is a first step. I remember how hard it was for me to first get those words out (and oddly enough, Via was the first place I ever admitted anything happened - if it hadn´t been for what happened at Via, I might still be stuck back in denial). Think about writing up something, just a beginning, of your own experience, IF you feel like it - do it in small paragraphs, parts, if necessary. It´s not going to be easy, tears come to my eyes just thinking of how it´s going to be difficult, but maybe if you start, you can find help - maybe that will allow you to spill it all out with a trustworthy friend. As for NTM being here, I don´t know, with all that´s said here, this is not NTM style, but it also is a free forum, there may be NTMers here wanting to manipulate. I kind of doubt it, though, it doesn´t feel like it. I don´t know who you are or what you went through, but I can pray for you - I´m doing that right now and I´ll continue throughout the day as I remember. Love you, sibling
