MK forum

My dad went up against leadership back in the day. Apparently he did not beat us like they required. He got grilled, confronted, spiritualy abused, and would not back down. My mom then got "interviewed" by the committee about what she thought about my dad and when she told them that his patience with us kids is what she loved most about him they tried to convince her that my dad was not being a Godly Father because he was complacent in disciplining us. We were a family of 5 and there were times on the field that we sat down and actually prayed for where our next meal would come from. We lived on very little, but there was too much more to lose by not going up against leadership. That leadership committee was dealt with by NTM and was replaced, but it was a step of faith on my parents part to go up against them, because they did not know which way it would go. Sometimes you have to rock the boat and sometimes you have to totally step out of the boat and walk on water by keeping your eyes on Jesus. I suppose it is easy for me to say, since I no longer survive on the gifts of supporters, but I would hope that if people wrote to every one of their suppporters and explained the entire situation to them that they would find that their supporters were supporting their Godly work, not just the name of the organization they were with. Again, easy for me to say.

Blaming parents is an easy out. For those children of NTM missionaries, one has to appreciate the culture of inclusiveness and fear perpetuated throughout NTM by NTM and its leadership. For those who were second or third generation missionaries, the "cult" of mission above family was deeply pervasive. So pervasive, in fact, that the effects of such sloppy, shoddy, and downright "evil" (in some instances) distortion of Biblical principles made many parents incapable of recognizing or, if they did recognize, fearful of reprisals that would come were they to take a stand.

For many NTMers, the mission was their life; indeed, for many the mission also encompassed many family members. As such, disclosures of uncomfortable things, much less than reporting abuse, was verboten. The schism that could result threatened much more than simply NTM, but families, cousins, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles . . .everything!

Am I excusing parents or, anyone in spiritual positions of authority, from doing nothing . . . NO! However, I am offering up my heart in an effort to understand why some tongues were silent. What is inexcusable, nearly unforgivable, is when some KNEW, but did NOTHING! Indeed, some were part of a cover-up. And yes, to those who covered abuse up, or who perpetrated the abuse, these disclosures WILL hurt family members who may not have known the ugly side of their parents or close relatives. I suppose one could feel for the offspring of Achan here . . .but that didn't stop God from eradicating them. In using the example of Achan, I am not saying we who seek justice seek eradication. Only God can do that (please, no discussion on the merits of capital punishment is being debated in this instance!). What I am saying is that we are calling for NTM to view as completely abhorrent the sin perpetrated on precious children . . .just like Jehovah God would view it. Moreover, we wish for NTM to deal with sin as completely as they are called to do by the same Living God.

Do parents share blame? Yes, they do; but before blaming them let's look at a culture bred by an organization (which means its leadership!) that used the parents zeal for spreading the Gospel as an instrument to browbeat any who dared see things in a different light and attempted to point them out. Let's be wise in our righteous anger.

Exactly, publius!

Can't speak for other peoples parents, who no doubt were wonderful. But my father definitely should take the blame for what has happened in our family. It was his choice to join NTM, he had a pretty good idea what he was getting in to. He participated actively in the coverups, pushed my mother till she mentally snapped, tried similar tactics on his own kids. Invited paedophiles into our home and called them his closest friends and is very cagey about what he was up to himself.
He had many opportunities to walk away from NTM, but he made NTM work for him to achieve his bizzare aims, so there was no way he was going to walk away. And even when he was finally kicked out (for reasons yet to be fully established, due to yet another coverup) he still acts like he is a member of NTM.
I have very strong suspicions that my father should be on the Summary of Abusers, I just can't quite get the evidence I need to confirm my suspicions, but rest assured if I do confrim my suspicions his name will be on that list and I will be contacting the police myself, not just leaving a message on the answer phone!

Dear Befused,
Your courage brings tears.
Because it's so sad to have all that in your family.
And how many more people know or don't know what happened in theirs?

I suspect you are right, I doubt I'm the only one with a large family skeleton in the closet. It's just that I don't want to go through life knowing that there is a strong possibility that my father is not who he portrays himself in public from the evidence I have so far of what was going on in private. I've taken the liberty of bagging other peoples parents for their crimes (all of whom can be verified independently), it would be a weight on my conscience if I didn't look closely at what part my parents play in this sorry saga in light of that. My mother I am sure is innocent of any crimes, she was/is a mentally broken woman, who did/does what she is told.

My father on the other hand is an interesting case. He had abilities that many men would envy, namely in the athletic field. If he had stuck to these, he would have been at the top of his sport, but somewhere along the line he came to want to be the big fish in the small pond. And the natural drive that made him a superb athlete got tranlated into religous fervour, which was a win win situation for both him and NTM. NTM found they had a very devoted devout exponent of their philosophy, he found that he could get what he wanted from others by using NTM philosophy to break them down. All this done in an outwardly public fake air of total pious sincereity. Eventually he got to fanatical for NTM, so he was dumped (well that is what I suspect, but I've never been told the full story by either him or Australia NTM who terminated him). So now he still espouses the wonders and goodness of NTM and its philosophy (which is interesting as they dumped him) wandering from church to church annoying the hell out of christians and preying on the vulnerable. He makes no friends, unless they can be of benefit to his cause. He has estranged himself from his own family and raised serious questions in the minds of my mothers family.

My wife, who is an expert in human factors and psychology has suggested that I look at it this way. My real father died about the time he entered NTM and the person who exists now is really someone else. It's quite a good and helpful way of looking at the situation and she is right, they are two quite different people.

I wouldn't say I'm courageous, more just being honest. We never know who reads this and someone might stumble on this one day and find the piece of the jigsaw puzzle that is missing in their journey, by reading about mine.

Oh and thank you for taking the time to read and comment, it's what makes all this worthwhile.