MK forum

This is all a real shock.
I just ran across this site by accident. My wife commented earlier this morning that I hold a grudge to long which made me think of Bob Ames....lets just say that Ive "owed" him for a really long time. I pulled up Google and and typed in his name and "new tribes mission" and low and behold up popped the GRACE report! Right below that was a link to this site.

After reading the entire report I now feel somewhat vindicated and extremely pissed off.
Most, if not all , of you dont know me. I was at one time the oldest kid at Fanda when it was first built, heck, I helped build it! I was there from the age of 14 thru 18. Im fairly certain that all reference to me has been erased by NTM.
There is SO much I want to say but doing so right now would probably result in me being banned not only from this site but quite possibly from the human race!

More later. Maybe. Nonetheless, thanks so very much!

Really glad you found us, emh - please don't be afraid to speak here.

I very much doubt that whatever you had to say would get you banned from this site, as it is a free forum run by the Fanda Eagles.

I think you sound refreshing

too many of us hold back. I do. I don't want to.

Tomorrow I will attempt to give a bit of history about myself. Right now Im still a bit rattled after finding this site. I never expected something like this to get to me the way it has.

Hi emh, I think that I can remember you. I am so encouraged that you came across the blog that Kari and Bonnie have put such considerable effort into. Looking forward to reading your story.

Lets see...where to start...
We joined NTM in 1972, did the boot camp and language school thing and then headed off to Senegal. My parents,brother , sister and myself.
I loved Senegal, were I independently wealthy I would not mind living there! Then we arrived at Fanda...........You know what? I cant tie this to just a Fanda thing, sorry. NTM is much bigger than Fanda and NTM is the problem. Sure, In my particular experience Fanda was VERY bad but it was only a localized concentration of what NTM policies were. Complete and total obedience,NEVER question the "committee"! To this day I cant stand that word! Fanda? For me I can sum it up in one word - FEAR! Complete and total 24/7 blinding fear. And the unending stress that goes along with that fear.

I learned very early in NTM that you do not trust ANYONE! People that you think are people that you can confide in are the first ones to turn you in to the Committee .
The first time I met John Warnken he grabbed me by the arm, marched me over to the soccer field. When we got there he told me who he was and I told him my name. His response was, and I quote," Oh, I know who you are and if you give ME any trouble I will snap your neck"

Yes, I remember it to this day, the exact words.
Even the slightest infractions were dealt with severely. There were alot of times that if my brother or sister did something I would take the blame. I already knew what pissing off Bob Ames meant and he wasnt going to get his hands on them if I could help it.
I worked at Fanda. I was only a student for a short time. Dont get me wrong, work wasnt the issue, heck, i was even paid, of course, I received a bill which effectively negated any pay I received but I did get paid. Im the guy that painted the inside of the 2000 gallon water tank
behind the chow hall. Adults should have known better.
Ah, the meetings! One time in particular I had committed some type of infraction and 5 guys from the field committee cornered me in the room four of us used as a bedroom(8ftx12ft room between the mens and womens latrines)and proceeded to forcefully "encourage" me to confess and accept my punishment....Again, Bob Ames was in charge of punishment.
You know, Im 48 years old now. Ive been married 3 times and divorced twice, I DO NOT trust anyone. I dont deal with well with people especially authority figures and my views on how life should be was really screwed up for a long time. I was in the military for a short time but that didnt work well! The authority thing.
Would my life have been better if I had not had to endure the twisted teachings of NTM and the brutal treatment meted out at Fanda? Probably But, as I mentioned , Im 48 now and there is no way to do the math that Im not on the down hill side of this life thing. My life is what it is. My biggest issue at this point is the effect this has had on my kids.
I think Ive been a good father in the sense that my kids have never gone hungry, theyve always had nice clothes and a roof over their heads but at the same time Ive never been able to show affection and at times, ive been way too hard on them for the smallest infractions.
This is what I will never forgive.

Oh, religion? I dont think so. Ive been in a church once in the last 30 years and that was against my better judgement. I have no need for a god that condones such acts. Doing nothing when it is within your power to prevent such brutality is tantamount to approval.
I think Im going to stop now. I wanted this to be well written and concise but it has ended up being poorly spelled and disjointed.
And no, I didnt give many specifics. One, I think its un-necessary as everyone here can easily read between these particular lines and two, I just really dont want to be that specific at this point.
I do want to say "Thank You" to everyone here because now I know that Im not crazy or just a waste of space....after 30 years of thinking that i was these things its refreshing to find others that KNOW.