MK forum

SO SORRY, Julie!
And welcome!
Thanks for your openness.
Have heard good reports from some stopping overnight at Tambo.
Would love to go back.
It's just too horrible what was going on in that beautiful setting---
For too long.
Since practically the beginning, it seems.
Hope posting helps you and doesn't hinder where you are in life.

Thanks. Yesterday was certainly an "interesting" day of stepping back into memories, but it lead to some good conversation here at home, and I hope it all leads to a much better mission viewpoint in the future.

Thank you for posting Julie. You are brave to share your story. Very sorry about your experiences at Tambo. The thing I find heartbreaking is even after a long time abuse victims still have such strong emotion when they remember their abuse. You would think it would lessen with time but it seems for some it is still painful to remember. I hope writing on fandaeagles helps you.

Ok Yunker I won't use the "you would think it would..." It's hard to know how to communicate on this blog sometimes.

Yunker and Tuti - I think your responses are truly progress - just how real communication goes! To "hear" what each other says and stay involved is good.

Bravo!

I know I did not communicate well here but I am trying to learn. What I was trying to say is not that I think you should not feel anything if you've been abused after many years have passed because I know things that have happened to me many years ago still haunt me and I still feel pain in my heart even now. The saying "time heals all wounds" is an example of this. There are people out there who do think that you should be able to get over something especially if it happened a long time ago they can't understand why it still hurts. I think time can lessen the intensity but I don't think it ever really takes away all the pain. You are right Yunker I do not have experience dealing with victims of abuse I never claimed that I did. I've never taken a psycology class. I do care about people though and I care a lot about the fandaeagles. It is hard to communicate your thoughts clearly over a blog sometimes.[/quote]

No, no, you're doing fine with the writing. If you didn't write anything because you were to scared that someone might get offended, then others wouldn't have the benefit of your insight and/or experience. Personally I had no idea that this abuse was so widespread in NTM, because no one communicated, now thanks to this forum I find people on the same wavelength and it has helped enormously. I'm no longer thinking that it was all a figment of my immagination or that it occured because of some inner trait of my own.
Time does heal somewhat. I remember coming back from "the mission field" and what I saw and experienced gnawed away on a continual basis, then one day I realised that I hadn't thought about it for a whole day and then two days e.t.c. It didn't make the experience go away, because that is impossible, but life became full of other experiences that were more important to deal with. I also managed to keep myself busy achieving what I wanted to in life, setting goals and going for it. (Also I had a point to prove to my abusers who said I'd never succeed in life, sorry but I think you were wrong)
Sometimes it's like a big zit, you've got to squeeze it (no matter what the experts say about not doing so). Just make sure you have a tissue handy and wash your hands when finished.
If we don't attempt to move on, the abusers have won. If we need help to move on, this forum is one great tool. If legal action will satisfy and help, then it looks like that might be eventuating. Filling ones life with achievable goals does help in my experience.

I'm no psycholgist either, but my other half has a degree in it, so I just listen to her and it has proved most theraputic. And remember, behind every successful man, is a suprised Mother-in-law.

Thanks Bemused. I liked your last line that was classic.