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PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 3:55 pm 
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I've been forwarding GRACE's report to friends in church leadership positions. I was not prepared for the first reply I got:

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While I have been following your posts with a sort of morbid curiousity because I have relatives with NTM, I do not feel compelled to pass this along because 1) [my church] does not support NTM and 2) it feels like airing somebody else's dirty laundry.


Ouch. :(

My reply was:

Quote:
I'm sorry it feels that way. GRACE themselves has said, it could set a precedent for how Christian organizations respond to abuse.

I've been posting this stuff because I believe it is important for believers to support the victims, and also to be ready in case the unthinkable happens to them. In fact, a church I attended several years ago discovered a man, one of their members, molesting children during Sunday school on Sunday mornings. It sure revolutionized how they protect their children now. The scary thing is, this can happen to anyone, as can the subtle temptation to protect pedophiles and shush the kids who are deeply damaged.

But I wouldn't want you to forward it to anyone unless you feel the same way. Thanks for letting me know how you feel.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 4:26 pm 
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My response was really off the cuff, though. I could have given it more thought. Any suggestions if I get more replies like this?


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 3:10 am 
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Your reply sounds pretty good to me!

I have drafted an email to my church leadership which includes the information you posted, as well as other stuff which is more context-specific.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 12:31 pm 
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Thanks, Bejamin! :)

When I showed my husband this email yesterday, I said I could have given this person a million additional reasons why sharing GRACE's report is important. But I guess if some people are turned off by the whole topic, no good argument will ever reach their heart. And that's hard on me, because I get depressed when people reject worthy causes, like this one.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 3:25 pm 
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Your response sounds perfect to me. Saying more might have diluted the message.

I too, am one who would like to personally yank these people's heads out of the sand.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 5:29 pm 
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I know the feeling! Thanks for putting my mind at ease about the email! :)


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 8:07 am 
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Let's face it: This is a painful, unpleasant and embarrassing subject. Without making any excuses for anyone on any level, I can sure understand why people would prefer not to even hear about this sort of thing, much less do anything to publicize it. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to just wish this entire thing away and concentrate on sharing the Good News with those who have never heard?

I know I was stuck by a statement in the GRACE report: One veteran NTM official described the problem this way: "I think in the leadership there are a lot of nice people, but when they get together they become dangerous." This is probably true of every single disfunctional leadership team on any field - nice people who get waaaaay off track and become dangerous. Dangerous to the work, dangerous to their fellow missionaries, dangerous to MKs and even dangerous to themselves. But, nice people. It is so much easier to ignore it. Plus, the exposure of it will only harm the Lord's name.

Of course, that is the very mindset that has landed us in this mess; that should be enough to disabuse us of any benefits of not airing our dirty laundry. Do we really need to remind people that it is the evil actions of these nice people that harms the Lord's name, not their exposure?

It's fair to say that nothing would ever have been done if this hadn't been exposed to the world via the Fanda Eagles website. New Tribes Mission owes a debt of gratitude to the courageous Fanda Eagles, as do fellow-victims, potential victims and all who have friends and relatives in NTM - or any other missionary organization, for that matter. I commend you, apg, for your role.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 6:02 pm 
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Thanks so much, Gene, for your encouragement. I've appreciated the insight you've added here in the forums and on Facebook too. I believe it's a much-needed perspective that bears repeating as long as there is an inkling of resistance to truth and justice within the Church.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 10:06 pm 
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An older x-elder couple I really respect talked to me today and said, "You know what you need to do? You need to shut the door on this and move on!" I feel so ...:( Discouraged. That is 2 more people on that I can't try to talk to about this when I need someone to talk to. I actually haven't found anyone except my mom, who I only see once a month if I'm lucky, that I can comfortably talk to face to face about it all without feeling like I have to defend my self! I have sent the report to a few elders but as far as I know, they haven't even read it! And 3 other people very close to me that I have asked to read it have said to me out right " I don't want to!" and one is "Too busy, but I am interested!" ( I still have hope for this one but she is always busy) I don't think ANYONE I have shared it with has read it right through!
as Gene said, "This is a painful, unpleasant and embarrassing subject. Without making any excuses for anyone on any level, I can sure understand why people would prefer not to even hear about this sort of thing, much less do anything to publicize it." I totally agree, but it is hard.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 10:19 pm 
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Please don't be discouraged, Naomi. It is not surprising to me when people respond this way. I think this topic is so uncomfortable and painful that many people are afraid to explore it, to let themselves feel the horror of it. In this forum you have people who will listen and support you. So please don't give up the fight.


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