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PostPosted: Sat Jun 11, 2011 3:43 pm 
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Dear MK’s from Aritao and “that girl”. I too had a child affected by Les, and like many of you I also faced terror in my life at the hands of a horrible man. My heart breaks in all this, but let’s encourage each other to remember that our enemies is a fallen world, an enemy that desires to see us live a defeated life, and the man, Leslie Emory. We can live a life NOT as victims but victorious in Christ! Bitterness destroys us..I know and spent too many years hurting only myself not my perpetrator…he was not remorseful. When “the news broke” and the Philippine FC found out from you girls the “secret” of what Les had done to you, I saw the tears and as much as I have my own battles with NTM, in this incident, they asked extensive advice of what to do, and every organization they contacted told them to get Les off the field ASAP for the sake of you, the victims. Every parent of a child who had ever been in that dorm was contacted and offered counseling to them or their child. Talk of legal action went about, but all the parents I talked to did not want their children exposed to what this would entail (For those of you unaccustomed to Philippine legal system, this is a LONG several year process before cases come to any closure!). I am not trying to defend anyone, or in any way diminish the horror! I just want to honestly say as a parent, I was present when all this went down in Manila, and what I saw from NTM in this particular situation was nothing but immense concern for the known victims, and heard not one word of concern for “protecting NTM”. They expedited getting a counselor there, and remember this was only 1993. Life and resources were much different back then. We as parents made many mistakes in how to help you, our children, but we did the best we knew and I believe NTM did too. Again…let’s realize as horrible and inexcusable as any abuse is, we live in a fallen world and need the grace and strength of the Lord to work through the terror and shame and live in victory and strength. Do not let anyone bent on bitterness destroy your healing. Those of us that really cae for you, want to see you healthy and whole and happy....and yes, there is joy at the end of that dark tunnel of healing. My love to you all.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 11, 2011 4:13 pm 
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Thank you for posting, Philam. If you have been reading on these forums you know there are people here with some very strong opinions. Emotions are raw. Some of us a weary from months and years of grappling with the issues being discussed here.
I wince at the responses I predict will be coming to your post.
My much-loved Eagles Forum Family: Could I please point out two things that stand out to me at the beginning of Philam's post:
1. "I too had a child affected by Les"
2. "I also faced terror in my life at the hands of a horrible man"
Philam is the parent of a child who was hurt by Les Emory. And they are also themselves a survivor of abuse.
Please keep that in mind.
Please.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 11, 2011 11:13 pm 
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Thank you, philam. This is a different view of Aritao and it is encouraging in its way.
It must be very hard to write about this.
I admire your courage and sense your desire to lift others up.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 11, 2011 11:21 pm 
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philam,

I read your post several times, and Raz, with all do respect I can not contain myself any longer. My response to your post is in blue...

Dear MK’s from Aritao and “that girl”. I was not aware that "that girl" has been excluded from being an MK in Aritao. I can assure you, she was.

...I too had a child affected by Les, and like many of you I also faced terror in my life at the hands of a horrible man. My heart breaks in all this, but let’s encourage each other to remember that our enemies is a fallen world, an enemy that desires to see us live a defeated life, and the man, Leslie Emory. We can live a life NOT as victims but victorious in Christ! Bitterness destroys us.. Taking an 8 year old's innocence destroys innocents. You should have read the other threads before you applied your fingers to the key board. The whole point of is that they are NOT living as victims anymore...that is the whole point of "That Girl" posts. She is not going to be a victim or did you not bother to read that before you posted your judgemental, self righteous, high and mighty words? Where is the love of God in your post? You are making the very dangerous assumption (and please, i'm sure you know what that word 'assume' means) that all who are victims are at the same stage in their journey in their spiritual life. What about those who may be bitter simply because they have not been shown the love of God through out this ordeal Instead, because of posts like yours, they feel they are judged and once again where they should be finding support, they are being told they are wrong. They are not worth what they feel that what they feel is totally wrong and invalidated what then? Have you not yourself defeated your own purpose of posting? So please, again, before you apply fingers to the key board, STOP! Go look in a mirror. Ask yourself if you are sure that you have that plank out of your own eye before you go try to tell someone else to take the splinter out of theirs. Please take some time out of your little parallel world to come back to reality, and read the other posts BEFORE you decide to pass on more judgement in the name of encouragement Posts like yours are the very reason "That Girl" would never post on here again. Please don't tell her the nature of God and what she should be doing. Don't tell any victim how they should be feeling! They know very well, thank you, how they feel and you telling That Girl or Any victim how they should not be bitter but victorious is pure and simple bs.


...know and spent too many years hurting only myself "that girl" has spent 27 plus years suffering in silence. Praying to our Lord every single day to free her from the burden she carried; from the pain and suffering that ate her insides and torments her every day of her life.

...not my perpetrator…he was not remorseful. When “the news broke” and the Philippine FC found out from you girls the “secret” of what Les had done to you, I saw the tears and as much as I have my own battles with NTM, in this incident, they asked extensive advice of what to do, and every organization they contacted told them to get Les off the field ASAP and no one suggested to call the authorities. Am I hearing you correctly in saying that It's not the fault of NTM, they were merely acting on the advice of others? It is what other people "told them to do?"

...for the sake of you, the victims. Are you kidding me? You are justifying letting him go free back to the United States to potentially Molest again countless other innocents, and you claim this was for the benefit of the victims? Is this some kind of a joke?

...Every parent of a child who had ever been in that dorm was contacted and offered counseling to them or their child. This is an absolute lie. "That girl" was never offered counseling at all.

...Talk of legal action went about, but all the parents I talked to did not want their children exposed to what this would entail (For those of you unaccustomed to Philippine legal system, this is a LONG several year process before cases come to any closure!). Again. this is not true. The average trial in the Philippines is less than 50 days, and in that time the accused is incarcerated the entire time... ie: in custody where he can not hurt ANYONE not just MK's in Aritao.

I am not trying to defend anyone, You are defending EVERYONE not just anyone...

...or in any way diminish the horror! I just want to honestly say as a parent, I was present when all this went down in Manila, and what I saw from NTM in this particular situation was nothing but immense concern for the known victims, And let us not forget how they protected Leslie Emory from prosecution...

...and heard not one word of concern for “protecting NTM”. As the parent of a victim, do you honestly believe those words would have been spoken in your presence? And I believe the words were "Inhibiting the Lords Work"

...They expedited getting a counselor there, In the words of one victim who actually went to speak with this man "it was a waste of time. He was more concerned with who else I had told. We talked for only about an hour and a half.

...and remember this was only 1993 Are you suggesting there were no qualified female counselors available in 1993?

...Life and resources were much different back then. How was life so different then? Oh... sry... no cell phones. I forget.

...We as parents made many mistakes in how to help you, our children, but we did the best we knew and I believe NTM did too. You call that help? Shuffling in a damage control specialist? Insinuating to everyone in Family News that Les is going to be brought to justice?

...Again…let’s realize as horrible and inexcusable as any abuse is, we live in a fallen world and need the grace and strength of the Lord to work through the terror and shame and live in victory and strength. Do not let anyone bent on bitterness I will not for one second consider anyone who has taken the better part of their life to find their voice, and aggressively seek the justice that should have had be called names! How Dare You! You sound like an NTM Propaganda Machine! Is this some kind of strange press release? You were sent by NTM were you not?

...destroy your healing. but how you accomplishing that by telling victims, including your own child(ren) how they should feel? You are basically telling the victims to stop what you are feeling and feel this way or that way. Even if they are not at that point yet in the healing process, this is where the victim should be. And seriously, why don't you just grow a sac and just say this is specifically being addressed to "That Girl?"

...Those of us that really cae {sic} for you, want to see you healthy and whole and happy... By telling victims how they should feel. Telling victims what is right and what is wrong after they have never once been asked by the organization that hurt her so terribly bad IF SHE WAS EVEN OK? GRRR.... :evil: There are those of us that really do care, and care a great deal more than what you are proclaiming. Those that would lay down their own life to make sure that they will live in peace, be healthy and whole and happy

...and yes, there is joy at the end of that dark tunnel of healing. This, we can agree on.

...My love to you all.

"That Girl" may forgive, but that does not mean that one will not have reap the consequences of their actions and decisions. Forgiveness does NOT automatically mean one does not have to take responsibility for their actions, or decisions or lack thereof. I have yet to find in the Bible where it says just because the Lord forgave us, we do not have to deal with the consequences of our sin.
Yes, He forgave us, but that doesn't mean we don't have to reap what we sow
.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 12:05 am 
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philam wrote:
.... Bitterness destroys us... Do not let anyone bent on bitterness destroy your healing. Those of us that really cae for you, want to see you healthy and whole and happy....and yes, there is joy at the end of that dark tunnel of healing.

Philam, your post was clearly heartfelt and, as the parent of a victim, you certainly deserve our sympathy.

You may have saved some feelings and misunderstandings if you had clarified a couple of things.

Taking legal action does not mean that one is not experiencing healing, is not healthy and whole and happy. It does not mean that one is bitter. Your post, unfortunately, did not make this clear.

Nor did it make it clear that a choice against legal action does not mean that one is not bitter. It does not mean that one is healthy or whole or happy or healed.

Finally, you left it unclear as to who those are who are bent on bitterness and do not really care for the victims. Who are these people who do not want to see the victims healthy and whole and happy?


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 6:06 am 
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The title of this thread can be very misleading.

It is necessary to point out that "victorious" is not the opposite of "victim."

Victims can be defeated or victorious, but they are victims still.

Those who are not victims of child sexual abuse may likewise be defeated or victorious, all without being victims in that sense.

Does that make sense?


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 8:21 am 
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Many victims choose not to go to God for healing. They cannot fathom that God would allow such atrocities, understandably so.
Sometimes people here speak only of healing and victory in God. But does that mean those who don't 'do' God can never come to grips with their past abuse? I don't want them to be excluded in the care and healing. Can we talk about healing for all the abused? All the victims need love as they move thru this.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 1:43 pm 
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highlander wrote:
Many victims choose not to go to God for healing. They cannot fathom that God would allow such atrocities, understandably so.
Sometimes people here speak only of healing and victory in God. But does that mean those who don't 'do' God can never come to grips with their past abuse? I don't want them to be excluded in the care and healing. Can we talk about healing for all the abused? All the victims need love as they move thru this.


Highlander, though my husband was never sexually abused, the abandonment and maybe even worse the forced denial of the reality of that abandonment, the minimizing of his pain, the accusations that experiencing anger about the abandonment was evil, ungodly ol' bitterness that meant HE was evil and ungodly, the demands to be self-sufficient at the tender age of seven while trying to process this abandonment, and the continual guilt tripping about that "hindering the Lord's work' garbage, feeling responsible for people going to hell for all eternity at a time in life when he should be enjoying mom's snuggles and daddy reading bed time stories....well, that's only the tip of how fundamentalist missionary calling/living put a WEDGE between any concept of a loving God and my husband's heart.

The Lord's work? I can not believe that the God of the whole earth is so hard up for resources that he has to steal the parents away from tender, needy children and warehouse those same children in over-crowded (they were in the 60s anyway) 24/7/months at a time daycare centers. That God is pretty weak on resources if you ask me.

My husband's parents religion has hindered him from knowing the love of God. The MKs you mention, highlander, have plenty of company. :cry:


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 3:36 pm 
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shadowspring2 wrote:
...the abandonment and maybe even worse the forced denial of the reality of that abandonment, the minimizing of his pain, the accusations that experiencing anger about the abandonment was evil, ungodly ol' bitterness that meant HE was evil and ungodly, the demands to be self-sufficient at the tender age of seven while trying to process this abandonment, and the continual guilt tripping about that "hindering the Lord's work' garbage, feeling responsible for people going to hell for all eternity at a time in life when he should be enjoying mom's snuggles and daddy reading bed time stories...The Lord's work? I can not believe that the God of the whole earth is so hard up for resources that he has to steal the parents away from tender, needy children and warehouse those same children in over-crowded (they were in the 60s anyway) 24/7/months at a time daycare centers... [/quote]

And the keys over to a child molester. And send him away unscathed and unpunished after 8 years of brutal molestation as not to "hinder the Lord's Work."

And arrogantly preach that the MK is Bitter...


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 7:40 pm 
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Yes, the added evil of handing the keys to the warehouse daycare to a child molester.

My heart is broken for all you have suffered, mahalko and all the others. You deserved so much better. :cry:


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