MK forum

Isn’t it interesting that this is the 1st post by someone “in” or recently “out” or in the more distant past “out” of NTM? Why wouldn’t these people feel comfortable telling their stories here? Why do they have a story at all if NTM is, as they say, interested in the biblical concepts of grace and shepherding?

We are greatly saddened by the numbers of lives that have been trampled on. We thought the GRACE Report was long overdue and extremely thorough. Please remember that the abusive style of leadership that has allowed all this is what many are still experiencing to this day. Not one iota of grace. Not one listening ear. But marginalization. Disdain. And even being threatened. Please know that this is not a personal vendetta. We have received testimonies from several others, even in recent weeks, and from many over the years about the same toxic, non grace-oriented leadership. We imagine that this could well be only the tip of the iceberg.

Thank you, GRACE, for recommending a safe place for people to tell what they have been through----are still experiencing. Where is there a 3rd party who could compassionately, honestly and thoroughly deal with this? Where do people go who feel the Lord is indicating that they should not discontinue their ministries, but feel they cannot continue on with NTM? Another org? What are the chances they will encounter similar leaders? When trust and respect have been lost, how long does it take before one is able to trust and respect leaders again?

We realize this is not a safe place. But we are not waiting to express some of the questions in our hearts and surely in the hearts of others. Isn’t it interesting that this is all we can say? That when we expressed our comments, concerns and evaluations openly, transparently, biblically and even lovingly to leaders over a long period of time, they paid no more attention to us than to a mosquito? If you squash a mosquito, it dies.

Praise the Lord we are people the Lord loves and has encouraged and will raise up to full effectiveness again!

Mosquito bite:

I could not help it, but weep as I read what you shared... Most likely only those who have been through what you are expressing can truly understand what you are saying... We were there and "did" that... Be encouraged though, God can and will raise you up to full effectiveness again!

I am a second generation Missionary brought up in NTM which makes me a full red blooded MK! We told our story over this past year under the pseudonym Elijah III on the Fanda Eagle's blog… We resigned from NTM a few years back and the Lord did restore us and our ministry. Sometimes these detours and hard times, God allows us to go through, are what prepare us for what God really has for us! I wish I had the time and space to tell you what the Lord has done on our behalf in recent years… but it would be impossible here.

May these words from JEHOVAH Himself spoken to Joshua (1:5-8) encourage you in the days ahead: “No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. "Be strong and courageous... Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful!”

It is unspeakably difficult for victims of child abuse to speak out. They feel shame. They feel powerless. They are often shouted down and insulted for detracting from the Lord's work. Their motives are impugned. It is often insinuated that the abuse was really their own fault. They are called losers and told to get over it. If they dare speak out, they are accused of being out for revenge. Critically, they are often unaware that there even were other victims; they feel alone and, with good reason, wonder if anyone would care, much less understand. A failed childhood is a tremendous burden to bear, and it must be borne for the rest of one's life.

Adult victims of spiritual abuse are in a similar situation. People they were close to now shun them. The unofficial grapevine, as well as the dreaded last page of Family News, has spread their tale of failure far and wide. They are cut off from all the emotional and spiritual support they have known, drifting in ignominy. Unless they have been guilty of sexual abuse of children or incest (in which case nothing is said to anybody), their churches have been informed of the regrettable situation and their failed charges handed back to be looked after until the can "requalify." Failure hurts adults, too.

Speaking up is dangerous, uncomfortable and exposes one to the very same accusations that the Fanda Eagles have faced, and continue to face. Even now, in the wake of the recently released report on abuse of children at the Fanda School, there is a less than unanimous call for NTM to implement the (in my opinion, rather mild) recommendations made.

Hopefully, NTM will actually agree to do what GRACE has suggested on page 65 of their report: "...it is necessary for NTM to initiate contact with every current member of the mission and every individual who has left the mission within the past five years..." My personal preference would be that they contact every individual who has left the mission ever since the much-ballyhooed January 1997 letter of "Grace Rediscovered" that the Executive Committee of NTM sent to all missionary members, associates, and supporters.

In any case, it is to be hoped that such an investigation will allow more voices to be heard, and that the knowledge that they are not alone will embolden abused adults to speak out, to find healing and justice.

We agree completely with Gene’s assessment that NTM leadership function as if they have spiritual authority over others, and that is the root of the systemic problems which have resulted in the abuse to missionary kids, as well as to the missionaries themselves. We agree completely that NTM’s “foundations need to be reset” (Yunker). True change within NTM will not happen unless the foundation, the theology upon which they base their leadership paradigm, is totally abandoned.

The authoritarian and spiritually abusive practices of NTM-past did not vaporize in 1997. We can understand those who have a hard time believing this. We wouldn’t have believed it either if we had not been on the receiving end of these practices...this year! We ended up resigning from the Mission because of it.

We were sent back to our home country, by our area and field leadership, for counseling to overcome our “sin issues” and thereby be “restored to the Lord”. They diagnosed our sin issues as pride, insecurity, bitterness, and unforgiveness. This “diagnosis” was not corroborated by our NTM co-workers or co-workers from another Mission. We believe the reason for their diagnosis and their determination to send us back to our home country is because we had pointed out to our leaders (privately) some things they had done wrong in their interactions with us, and we did not back down.

We did, however, confess and apologize to them for things we had done wrong in our interaction with them. We repeatedly expressed our desire for reconciliation, but they did not reciprocate this desire. In fact, our suggestion that a mediator would be helpful was determined to be “further evidence of our sin”.

In the end we agreed to submit to them by returning to the U.S. But we did not submit to their dictates regarding where we must live and what kind of counseling we must have. Instead, we went to our sending church pastors to see if they agreed that we needed counseling for these sin issues. They did not. They told our area and field leadership so, and that we could return to the field after the school year. In so many words our field leadership responded with ‘no’ (saying that we needed more time for God’s Word to take effect in our lives).

It’s noteworthy that earlier in our conflict with the leadership we had been told that our sending church pastor and elders are the final authority in a believer’s life. Apparently when push comes to shove, they believe the sending church pastor/elders are the final authority only if those men are in agreement with the NTM leaders!

When we returned to the States we had hoped we would get help from Sanford in resolving this conflict. Unfortunately, (but not surprising, given what we have read on this blog) we received none. Instead we were told that although the reasons for our return to the States for counseling were “ambiguous”, NTM-USA has a policy (we assume an unwritten policy) of not getting involved in the affairs of the individual fields. Though they would not intervene, they encouraged us to stay with NTM and serve in the training program!

Instead, we decided to resign because we felt before the Lord that it was the right thing to do; that it was the decision that honored Him.

In our resignation letter we delineated our grievances and once again our desire for reconciliation. There was no response. The field leadership expressed their sadness, “It’s like a death.” And from NTM-USA: “We had hoped you would find the grace to stay with NTM”. We are finding the grace to walk what for us is a more costly route, from a human perspective.

We are just one couple, and our resignation from NTM meant nothing to them as far as an incentive to review their leadership practices. So, we wholeheartedly agree with those who have written that change within NTM will only happen if the current members force it. NTMers, if you are able to act as one, NTM leaders will not be able to ignore you.

NTM’s recent decision to not use GRACE for investigating abuse at other NTM schools further underscores, in bold letters and caps, the fact that they do not want to be accountable to anyone. This is a huge red flag.

NTMers, we encourage you to not turn away from this issue because of being too busy, or not wanting to get involved in this mess. I know it seems rational, and maybe even godly, to say, “NTM is not perfect but it is a tool to get me where I want to be – reaching an unreached people group.” But remember, the ends do not justify the means. As others have said, God is not dependent on NTM to fulfill His own statement that there will be people from all tongues and tribes around His throne. Please take the risk to do what is right, even at the risk of further damaging the Mission.

We pray that that won’t happen. We want to see NTM do well. We want them to be a great example to others of true humility. We are praying for a real heart change in the leaders. We are praying for deep conviction and brokenness. But it appears that the GRACE report was not enough to make it happen.

If you are a NTMer who finds fault with the way the Mission is responding to the GRACE investigation, and their lack of response to the other abuse cases noted on this blog, will you consider banding together and pushing for change? Will you consider insisting that NTM leaders become accountable to the members? Will you consider forcing the foundations of NTM to be reset, so that the leaders are appointed by the members, instead of by other leaders? Wouldn’t you like to be part of a Mission whose leaders respond positively to your concerns? Can you imagine what NTM could be like if you had the power to remove leaders who are ineffective or even abusive? The current “plurality of leadership” model is unfortunately not an effective safeguard against bad decisions or abusive practices. Even godly men can go awry. Accountability to you, the members, would be a much more effective safeguard. Will you consider praying about what God would have you do in this situation and doing it, even if it costs you something?

Fanda Eagles and other abuse victims, you have been incredibly courageous to bring these things into the light. May God bless you for what you have done.

Wow, I just noticed your post and am amazed at reading it. I wish you would also post it on the thread for current NTM members because they are discussing right now what they can do from the inside. I am so very glad to hear that you have the support of your sending church and pastor, that is amazing and encouraging to hear. Thank you for your courage and for posting here.

Noel & Kathy,
Thank you for sharing your story! Thank you for standing up for your convictions and not backing down! Your church family who stands behind you truly is a blessing!

I am confident in saying we also have a church that stands behind us as well. A church leadership who is very knowledgeable about missions and very intimately concerned with our lives and our spiritual condition and with how NTM cares for it members (or doesn't at times). It sure is encouraging to know that they are standing with us!

Oh and I think, well at least I've heard through the grapevine that NTM is moving towards having a board of directors (non NTM members) that they answer to rather than only NTM members who are in authority. They are one of the only, if not THE only, agency whose authority is all within it's members.

I don't know about having leaders selected by the members. That can lead to a whole new set of politics and favoritism or pandering and such....

Those who know me best, as well as those who only know me from my periodic postings on this forum, will not be surprised to hear that I am quite capable of arousing strong, negative emotions, even without trying to. Were I to put my mind to it, I think I'd be unequaled.

In the late 1990s, when we were living in the jungles of Nan Province here in Thailand, I ran afoul of some vested interests in the local area. Not only had I unwittingly built a house astride a trail used to transport illegal drugs, but my efforts to evangelize and help the Yellow Leaf people in practical ways in that area made me a stench in the nostrils of a large number of influential, powerful people. People who were accustomed to getting their own way.

A fair bit of pressure was brought to bear on me personally, but a great deal was put on the civil servants who ran the province. Their lives were made miserable – protests were organized, cooperation on projects was withheld, negative stories were run in the local papers. They were not happy. In fact, they were angry. And, they were not angry with the people who were making life miserable for them. They were angry with me!

One day, the Provincial Governor invited me to lunch. (Governors are civil servants in Thailand, not elected officials.) Wow, a power lunch! Not often that I get an invitation like that. Never before or since, come to think of it. We'll be able to come up with a plan to get things calmed down and still respect the human rights of the Yellow Leaf people, I thought.

Before we ordered our meals, the Governor fixed me with a stern look and said, "You're still a young man. It would be a pity if something were to happen to you." Ouch!

Another official who had joined us said, "Why, if you were to get shot, the Director General of the Police Department would come, the Minister of the Interior would come. . . it would be a big mess!"

This sounded a lot like I was being threatened. Maybe just warned. In any case, it sounded ominous. No longer hungry, I excused myself and suggested that if they didn't want this big mess, they may want to find a way to make sure I didn't get shot. I bowed and left.

We did not have coworkers at the time, so it was just my wife, two of my teenage kids and I alone in the jungles with the Yellow Leaf. I've always been of the conviction that I would make a poor martyr, but as I pondered the imponderable I realized that I wouldn't be around to find out, so maybe it wouldn't matter. We decided to stay put.

A Captain in the Royal Thai Army, assigned to the Internal Security Command, was a Christian. He was of a little different persuasion than me (charismatic), but he was very supportive and did what he could to help. He had a civilian assistant, an observant Muslim man, who spoke up in our defense before a crowd of angry villagers. "I believe that what this man is doing here is good," he said, knowing full well that I was a Christian missionary. We also had support from a number of Buddhist villagers.

Of course I called and kept the Field Committee up to date on our situation. These are the men who told us that it was their God-given responsibility to look out after us. They were our Shepherds, our spiritual leaders, and I was accountable to them. It worked out that one of these men made a trip that took him within ten miles of our house. Knowing our situation, knowing our relative isolation, knowing the threats against us. . . they kept on driving.

In fact, no member of the Field Committee ever came to see us during the entire ordeal. Eventually, the Royal Thai Army stationed half a dozen soldiers on our property to provide security, which we very much appreciated. But, an armed camp wasn't really a conducive atmosphere for doing missionary work and the Yellow Leaf were uncomfortable around that many guns. So, we eventually moved back to our present location.

Even mentioning these things this long after the fact raises questions, not about the field leaders, not about the organization, but about the spiritual condition of the one "whining."

Mosquito Bite, is it even possible to comment on leadership abuse at all, here or anywhere?

Where is the tread of 'current NTM members'? And where is the HOAX thread? I'm new here so help in directing me would be appreciated. I knew nothing of such things.