NTM (Ethnos360) Abuse

You can be heard in the forums

_______

Puulaaku

When you step on a thorn,

not a rose thorn but a desert thorn –

two inches long, yellow and petrified –

you do not stop walking.

You limp as little as possible until

the lunch stop when everyone sits and

you can unobtrusively remove it.

When your baby dies

on the back of your moped as you

hurry to the hospital, hours away,

you allow yourself ten minutes of wailing

then you bury it by the road.

The heat demands it.

When your parents put you on a plane

the first time – you cry.  Soon though,

you learn Puulaaku. Bite down on it,

swallow and squeeze it hard in your stomach.

This is honor. This is sanity. This is good.

When you die,

when your belly explodes from everything

you swallowed,

your family will say

“She was a perfect daughter.”

You would do well to learn

Puulaaku.

-Susan Smith, a Burkina Faso MK

Many crimes against children were committed by NTM (now Ethnos360) personnel in boarding schools around the world.  Most of these crimes were covered up by NTM.

What a crazy society we have built, where the powerful thrive at the expense of the innocent.

Now we are coming into our own power. Not power over but power with.

It’s our world now. Let’s change it.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

Read the About page for a comprehensive summary of the investigations into NTM (Ethnos360) boarding schools to date.

 


418 Responses to NTM (Ethnos360) Abuse

  1. Broken says:

    @Janice

    So very well said Janice!

  2. Bonnie says:

    @Fanda MK
    Funny, your post is almost identical to an “Anonymous” post on Christa Brown’s blog – http://stopbaptistpredators.blogspot.com/2010/09/grace-report-vindicates-mks.html
    Anonymous said…

    Sadly the GRACE report is full of inacuracies and through their lack of any true investigation named several innocent people as abusers. Sorry, but it is evident to all who were at Fanda that much of the content of the GRACE report is not true, just a witch hunt. GRACE has done a disservice to the victims and NTM by not looking into the accusations before publishing them as facts and handing out harsh recomendations that NTM is forced to follow. So don’t believe everything you read, eh?
    *I do love the responses to “Anon”:
    Valarie said…

    anon 11:21,
    We are very familiar with your script and your purpose. Back up your accusations.
    Otherwise, no reason to believe what you write, eh?
    September 7, 2010 12:14 PM
    Christa Brown said…

    Anon 11:21 — You don’t have a clue and, as Valarie says, your script is old and tired. And I know you can’t possibly back up your drivel because what you say has already been publicly refuted by New Tribes leadership.

    According to WESH-TV in Orlando, New Tribes Mission “doesn’t deny it.” And on video, a New Tribes spokesperson says this: “I’m ashamed that it happend at New Tribes…. The core of what’s in there is accurate. There were people who had been abused and New Tribes did not respond the way they should have.”
    http://www.wesh.com/video/24846023/detail.html

    And as reported in the Orlando Sentinel, New Tribes CEO Larry Brown said his organization will follow the recommendations GRACE made in its report.
    http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/breakingnews/os-new-tribes-sex-scandal-20100902,0,62101.story

    So, even the top leadership at New Tribes is now publicly acknowledging the truth of the GRACE report. It’s only sad, cowardly, anonymous fools like you, Anon, who are STILL trying to discredit the New Tribes survivors.

    And by the way, Anon, New Tribes isn’t “forced to follow” the GRACE recommendations. What New Tribes does now is up to New Tribes. Whether it will move beyond words and actually implement the GRACE recommendations remains to be seen. But make no mistake about it, New Tribes was the entity that commissioned this independent investigation from GRACE, and New Tribes itself has now publicly accepted the validity of the report.

  3. Bonnie says:

    @BDog
    I think Fanda MK means his/herself. Or perhaps they feel that other abuses aren’t as damaging as sexual abuse.
    Fanda MK, I endured Fanda from when I was seven years old until I was 17 years old. I can tell you that I experienced every form of abuse that Fanda had to offer – sexual, physical, emotional, spiritual. But here’s the thing. I am extremely close to many Fanda MK’s who did not experience sexual abuse there… and are still horribly affected by their time at Fanda. In my opinion, if you were a student at Fanda, then you were victimized.
    Let’s even say that Fanda was an amazingly perfect place – do you feel that it is alright to abandon your child into the care of someone else at an age as young as five? The abandonment was another (HUGE!) thing that has affected many people close to me, and of course myself as well. So yes – who exactly do you mean when you say “the real victims”?

  4. Janice says:

    @Fanda MK
    I’m curious as to your use of “a Fanda Witch Hunt.” Could you please be more specific as to the “inaccuracies and absolute false testimony” which you say the report is riddled with? What is so difficult with the FC leadership admitting, “The Buck Stops Here” and “I take full responsibility and will see to it that restitution is made no matter how long it takes; knowing that the innocence stolen from so many young lives can never be returned? To me that is the mark of a true leader and one that I could submit to unequivocally.

    BDOG–I also would love to know who the “real victims” are.

    “I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give to each man according to his ways, According to the results of his deeds.:
    Jeremiah 17:10

  5. BDog says:

    @Fanda MK
    So, Fanda MK. Who are the real victims??????

  6. Janice says:

    @fiona
    Thank you for your affirmation Fiona 🙂 The Fanda Eagles have been refined and they are GOLD. What a day that will be, when our Savior’s face we see…oh yes!!!!!

    Children Learn What They Live

    “If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
    If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
    If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
    If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
    If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
    If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
    If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty….”

    Conversely the reverse is true 🙂

    “…If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
    If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
    If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
    If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
    If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
    If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
    If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
    If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
    If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
    If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
    If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
    If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.”

    Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte

  7. fiona says:

    @Janice
    We were in Senegal and with another mission. We were expected to submit to authority for them to find Gods will for our lives. We began to sense things there were very wrong, full of rules and legalism. We got out, damaged but not too badly. My heart goes out to all you dear folk, your personal freedom in Christ and being able to hear and follow Him for yourselves is a very precious thing. Love in Him Fiona

  8. shadowspring says:

    @Mike & Donna McKenney
    It is heartwarming to know that some missionary parents really care about their MKs and regret the boarding school experience. I wish my husband’s parents felt this way. If boarding school ever comes up they end the conversation with the excuse “we had no choice…the mission board gave us no choice”. It is great that at least one set of parents in the world just LEFT THE MISSION then. My husband is in his early 50s and just started counseling. I’d appreciate any prayers for him.

  9. Disillusioned MK says:

    Dan, I have read the comments on the website you posted. Excellent article, right to the point—well said!

  10. Dan says:

    Other missions organizations are distancing themselves from NTM. I like this response.

    http://leadingfromthesandbox.blogspot.com/2010/09/new-tribes-mission-faces-consequences.html

  11. Lucy B. says:

    To NTM child. I totally agree with wondering if the leadership now, will truly be honest and repentive. I am a former NTM adult and lived under “the submit to authority” life and I still don’t trust men in authority. That is why these MK’s who have come forward need much prayer and encouragement to keep pressing on and not to give up. The god I knew in NTM (he represented all the legalistic and abusevive men that was in my life in NTM)is not the God I know now and he is the God of grace. He will bring out the truth and He will be praised. John 8:32

  12. Broken says:

    @Naomi Cleaves

    Interesting how under pressure NTM agrees that it was also in the 90’s as well as the 80’s. How about the 70’s? NTM is just trying to minimalize the fallout!!!!!

  13. Broken says:

    I trust that NTM will truly deal with this situation as with the many other boarding schools that shared the same experience as FANDA. I HOPE that GRACE is not just an advocate that NTM has hired to help them minimize the accountability!!!!! Think about it!

  14. Janice says:

    I must agree with Mike and Donna McKenne 🙂 It’s amazing to me that many of our family and friends referenced NTM as another cult where we “drank the koolaid” BUT our hearts were on fire for the Lord and “to the regions beyond” was our motto. It still is, however we have long since resigned from NTM as well due to the same struggles with leadership both on the field (Paraguay) and from Sanford. One of the major differences between Christianity and the Catholic church is that as believers we have DIRECT access to our Lord THRU Jesus Christ. We do NOT have to requisition leadership in order to find out what God’s will is for our lives. We do not have to go to confession on a daily basis to said leadership in order to be absolved of our sins. “For there is one God and one Mediator between God and man….the man Christ Jesus.” In my estimation leadership usurped God’s authority and made themselves as a graven image i.e. another “Baal” and when we failed to bow before them, we were not only labeled as dissenters, but as having hearts that were hardened towards the Lord. Ironically, these same accusers also destroyed the very work that dedicated, good-hearted missionaries were performing.

    We “drank the koolaid” but we got OUT!

    Thank you Fanda MKs particularly Kari and Bonnie for your courageous devotion and determination in seeing that not another one of God’s angels suffer at the hands of administration what you personally experienced. My heart and prayers are always with you now.

  15. filtered down victim says:

    @Eleanor
    You are not alone, I have thought of NTM as a cult for about 14 years now. and I have heard others say that too, It was just not something you said to anybody except those you trust, because you would have gotten
    spiritually repremanded. I was spiritually abused by NTM in a “trickle-down” way. I was never in NTM, but my inlaws were “decipled(taught) by people in leadership, and then the harsh,leagalistic, condemning,teaching was pushed on me.

  16. mpjatvtcdotnet says:

    Sometime today New Tribes stopped soliciting $ for missionaries Hammy and Judy Penner, whose conduct the GRACE Report details. Until September 4, the New Tribes page at
    http://www.ntm.org/give/409
    still solicited contributions to “the ministry of Hammy and Judy Penner.” Here’s a screen shot of how that used to look:
    http://littlebigdog.net/NewTribesGiveToHammy.jpg
    But sometime on September 4, 2010, New Tribes changed the page to read “The missionary you are searching for was not found in our online database.”

  17. Naomi Cleaves says:

    I don’t care what NTM spokespeople say about “back in the 1980’s we had a culture of harshness”… I was an NTM MK in the 1990’s and they STILL had a culture of harshness at Fanda! Just because the executive commitee decided to say something different doesn’t mean it was practiced by leaders in remote villages who infact just continued doing things the way they had been doing things for years. If the EC really wanted change they would have had to change the leadership.

  18. Eleanor says:

    To NTM child, I was amazed to see you used the word “cult” to describe NTM structure. I have said that for yrs., but you are the first one, other than myself that I have heard express it that way.
    I hope they will change, and am glad to see they have fired 14 of their past and present members. Only time will tell if they follow through with everything, but even so, there needs to be a drastic overhaul of this mission, or I believe God will do it for them.

  19. Mike & Donna McKenney says:

    @NTM Child
    Ditto and amen to all of your observations; well said.

  20. Mike & Donna McKenney says:

    There are 2 verses that keep coming to mind as we follow this. I’m amazed that no one has brought them up yet or quoted them. I honestly think they are extremely relevant and appropriate, and should be read and pondered, especially by all perpetrators, as well as those who ignored and covered up these atrocious sins.

    “And He said to the disciples, It is impossible but that offenses will come. But woe to him through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck and he were cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.”
    (Luke 17:1-2 MKJV)

  21. NTM Child says:

    As a child growing up in NTM on the foreign field I can say that the structure of NTM borders on being a cult. The field committee has control of everyone’s life. Family decisions are ruled by the committee, any person who disagrees or has questions is “not submitting to authority” or “has a problem with authority”. The committe committs no sin and are like God. They are deceitful and there are no consequenses for them even if they father a child with someone other than their wife. They attack the reputations of those who object with lies and do not follow scriptual recommendations of confrontation and discipline. The lasting consequence of growing up seeing is that my antenna pop up and go haywire when I beginn to hear a lot of preaching about “We are men of God and you are to follow our leadership, submit to our authority”. Ultimate, as believers we are to follow GOD’s leadership and authority in our lives. We are to have discernment and while not judging know them by their fruits. True leadership in the church does not rule by fear and repression. My family’s experience with NTM through the 50’s and 60’s. was not unusual. To this day I will have nothing to do with NTM or support a NTM missionary because their people in leadership have not changed. It is obvious by the names in the Grace report that some of the names at the very top of the mission have not changed and therefore I don’t believe the mission will truly repent and change. It will most likely be damage control.

  22. Fanda MK says:

    I read this report, and was saddened to find that it is riddled with inaccuracies and absolute false testimony. While there are sections that are true, there are large portions of the report that are absolutely false, poorly researched, and show absolute incompetence by those handling the report to ensure that the truth was told. It amazed me that, they couldn’t even bother to get the names of some people correct, while in other cases they made accusation without ever researching the accused or supposed victims. In the end, the report has become a “Fanda Witch Hunt” and serves a great injustice to the real victims.

  23. Gene Long says:

    @Eleanor
    You ask, “Now, they say on their website, they are “heartbroken,” but is it real or is it because the sins of the mission have been made public, and they have been more or less forced by these courageous MK’s to do something?”

    Maybe this will help evaluate their sincerity: Has there been even one public expression of gratitude from NTM leadership to the Fanda Eagles for their irreplaceable role in bringing these atrocities to light and thereby being the catalyst for the GRACE report?

  24. filtered down victim says:

    tHE@Brother in Christ
    tHE TRUTH MUST COME OUT. God is the lover of TRUTH. To keep it all hush , hush is wrong. NTM was (warned) you might say , over and over and over. everytime an incident came up that they ignored. Well, now the warning is over and justice will come down. I hope and pray!!!!!!! It is true, that your sins will eventually find you out.

  25. Clif and Kari says:

    while my wife and i have been having other conversations with some of you in different forums, i realized that as a member of new tribes mission, i had not yet expressed my apologies to those of you who were abused and neglected.

    we are deeply sorry that this happened to you. we want you to know that as members we are and will remain vigilant concerning the environment and philosophies of this mission. we will not be silent. God gave us our children and it is our privilege and responsibility to take care of them. we cannot allow this to happen again, and we should not hide what has happened.

    we are both heartbroken and angry at the events that led to the GRACE investigation. we continue to pray for healing for you…

  26. Mike & Donna McKenney says:

    Having followed this closely since we first heard of it, our hearts, as do all of yours, continues to break. This has all brought back painful memories of our time as NTM missionaries. From Boot Camp on including language school, and then on to Senegal, and having to leave our 2 boys in Fanda, we are painfully remembering the constant emotional/spiritual “abuse,” especially when it was towards our boys. That constant scrutiny from leadership on their young lives has left deep scars.

    The leadership style of NTM always seemed to focus on “sin,” including small petty incidents, and we were always taught and encouraged (commanded) to be faithful and confront our brothers with any and all sin or fault. We can’t help but wonder why this teaching is not now applied and implemented after all the MKs have come forth for so long. One would hope that leadership would respond to the faithfulness of the abused in sharing their painful stories and deal with the sin appropriately.

    Those of you who think this whole situation needs to be forgiven and for all to move on and that time will heal all and the pain will go away, we want to tell you that our boys are now in their mid 40s and still struggling and seeking counseling from time to time.

    As far as NTM dealing with all of this, it may surprise you all to know that we received a prayer/newsletter from Senegal. This letter is compiled and and published and sent out to a mailing list. The person who sends this out is Frank Stottlemyer, the man who was the Field Chairman while we were there and at the height of all of the sexual abuse in Fanda. We find it very odd that there was only one mention regarding this situation, and credit is to be given to one family who said that while they are here in the States on furlough, they had read the GRACE report and asked for prayers. One would think that somewhere in the newsletter Frank Stottlemyer would at least mention the situation and the seriousness of it, and share some sort of brokenness and ask for prayer, especially since a prayer/newsletter such as this goes to pretty much all missionaries and/or supporters who have an interest in the particular field they represent, in this case, Senegal.

    As others before on this site have mentioned, we want to extend our prayers to all who suffered abuse, and we will continue to hold you up in prayer as we pray for our own boys. Thanks for your courage, and may the Lord Himself flood your hearts with an awareness of His love and concern in all of this.

  27. Eleanor says:

    As NTM as so aptly described themselves as “strict, paternalistic, anti-educational,heavily submissive oriented and autocratic,” obviously, that’s a climate for abuse of any kind. On pg 2 of the GRACE report, one statement stands out as to the underlying cause, “it was the conduct of New Tribes Mission, which emphasized the saving of souls at the expense of children, that made the abuse that followed, predictable.”
    I’m no supporter of NTM and have known that child abuse was condoned, having your “wife in submission,” covering up sin etc, but this was beyond anything I could have ever dreamed they would have allowed to go on and cover up. Now, they say on their website, they are “heartbroken,” but is it real or is it because the sins of the mission have been made public, and they have been more or less forced by these courageous MK’s to do something? I commend all of you MK’s, especially Kari for not letting this continue to be covered up, for being persistent in doing the right thing and making NTM face their crimes against innocent children. I pray for all of you.

  28. Jaime says:

    Religious authority carries a powerful weight and the abuse (mental, sexual, spiritual) that has been done by people representing God has a profound impact on victims/ survivors. One resource that many survivors of religious authority sexual abuse report as valuable is “Healing the Sexually Abused Heart: A Workbook for Survivors, Thrivers, and Supporters.” It is time to end all abuse and promote healing and transformation for all.

  29. Joey says:

    I am outraged and angered after reading the GRACE report. The fact that these sins/crimes occurred and then were COVERED UP is absolutely and heinously wrong. My heart is broken for the lives devastated by the abusive and wicked acts of these men and women. I also desire to see these perpetrators and negligent-to-respond investigated and prosecuted by our justice system. As others have said, words fail to convey my sorrow. I am honestly sick to my stomach, and my throat is in a knot.

    I am an active NTM member and would like to issue my own apology to the victims and say I’m sorry for what members and leaders of this organization I belong to did to all of you and continued to do by covering up these heinous sins/crimes. I believe in the full forgiveness of Christ through the cross, but as scripture clearly shows, full forgiveness in God’s eyes does not preclude consequences on earth.

    I am thankful that I have seen what I consider true repentance come from our current NTM leadership. I believe that the men leading our mission now are God fearing men desiring to pick up the pieces and do what is best and right for the victims and to properly deal with the perpetrators. I have a “wait and see” attitude for our current leadership, but so far I believe they have acted above reproach. They have desired to have full transparency, and to cooperate with the GRACE report.

    Larry Brown has confessed his own heartbroken and tearful response as he read through the GRACE report. The leadership team has already taken some action with the retroactive firing of members which was part of the recommendation of the GRACE report. Furthermore, Larry has been updating members about his own personal sorrow. Federal headship certainly does not pass the sin of past members or leaders onto our current members or leaders, but as one commenter put: our own personal response reveals what we truly believe in this matter. I pray that all current members and leaders are as equally sickened and sadden as I.

    I pray for the abuse victims and others involved that you all will be able to forgive those who have sinned against you, through the help of Christ. The evil doers will never deserve your forgiveness, but no one deserves Christ’s exchange of our sin for His righteousness. God loves you more than anyone and I pray that His love will fill your hearts with love for Him. And that in God alone you will find comfort, peace, and restoration.

  30. Brother in Christ says:

    @Brother in Christ
    Hey Guys,
    I just want to say finally that I am praying for you and praying that the truth will come to light and not stay hidden. And I am praying that justice will be served and I know it will and I really pray that it will be done in love and that the world will stand in awe at the power of our God to turn what is, in our eyes, horrifying, into something good for His Name. I know that He will because He allowed it to happen for a reason. We serve an awesome God! And I love and respect you all! =)

  31. Gene Long says:

    @Brother in Christ
    New Tribes Mission is not my brother in Christ; it is an organization, but it is NOT a “Christian organization.” Organizations cannot be saved; Jesus did not die for the sins of organizations; organizations cannot pray, read the Bible, believe or speak in tongues – except maybe as speaking in a forked tongue may count!

    I challenge you to write to NTM and find out if their corporate policy would forbid them to take “internal matters” before unbelievers.

  32. Joel C. says:

    I just received this message from a current member of NTM,

    “Hi Joel! I’m writing to you because I am wanting to share with you how bad I feel about all this abuse that has gone on. I am so sorry that each one of these kids have gone through any of this and now having to deal with this for the rest of their lives. And too, the kids that haven’t even talked about it. My mind just struggles with all of this. And I want to apologize to you for all the pain that you too am feeling for all this that has gone on. I know that you are carrying so much of the weight of this. I really am sorry! It is horrible that believers would be doing this, especially missionaries that are all supposed to be mature as leaders. I have no intentions of being defensive. I am sick in my stomach, have been for weeks. There is so much sin that needs to be owned up to and too I pray that everyone involved will be sensitive to God in what and how God wants to deal with these devastating situations.”

  33. jdg says:

    All of which is not to mention that we seem to be giving the benefit of the doubt to NTM (at least the elements responsible) that they are in fact worthy of “1 Cor 6” consideration as a “Christian” entity (just in need of some repentance and restoration) and aren’t in fact, more like the wolves which need to be emphatically chased out of the fold.

  34. joie says:

    @Brother in Christ

    First of all, I have a little more faith in Christ than thinking that taking this story “to the world” will “destroy” His name. I do not understand the fear of spreading this story. As one of my non-Christian friends put it after reading your comment “A huge argument that makes me not want to be atheist is that you can’t have morals without god, but what good are god’s morals if in order to protect that god you need to ignore the morals!!!???”

    We as Christians will have many more opportunities to show our God as HE REALLY IS by telling this story – what could “destroy” the name of Christ more than Christians continuing to stubbornly cover-up and blindly spiritualize the crimes that take place within the church? Instead, our testimony should be moving forward together to protect the innocent – hopefully with NTM at our side – TRANSPARENTLY and honestly showing the forgiveness and hope and grace that we are given as Christ-followers on our journey.

    Please think about who you are really trying to protect here – if you will read the ‘about’ section of this site, you will see that this whole thing has been handled biblically. I hesitate to get into a bible verse competition with you, but Matthew 18 says “If your brother sins against you,[b] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'[c] 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” GRACE is part of the church, and so far NTM has only made vague promises that they are “listening to the church.”

  35. Walt Bertelsen says:

    @Brother in Christ
    My “brother” I will dare to suggest to you that you look at the passage again and look at what has happened here (not the same thing), and also that you look at the words of the Lord Jesus: Jesus reserved his strongest statements for the religious leaders–and he excoriated them PUBLICLY. Check this out: “Hypocrites! For you shut the door of the Kingdom of Heaven in people’s faces. You won’t go in yourselves, and you don’t let others enter either.” (Mt 23:13, NLT) This is NOT a case of taking petty lawsuits and hanging dirty laundry before the public (as in Corinth); this is a case of leadership failing to lead, failing to shepherd, failing to humble themselves so that they could actually “allow the little children to come” to Jesus.

  36. shadowspring says:

    @Brother in Christ
    The name is destroyed by people living in egregious, hard-hearted, unrepentant continued sin. People pointing it out is NOT the problem.

  37. Brother in Christ says:

    @filtered down victim
    Please read 1 Corinthians 6…we are destroying the name of Christ by taking it to the world…THAT is sin…

  38. Naomi Cleaves says:

    Tuti Hess :@KatiActually was told at the meeting that some have.(cut off support) They are waiting to see what NTM will do.

    Wow. NTM is getting presure from supporters? Good. I hope they resume support if they are saisfied with the responce from NTM though. But good on em.

  39. So Sorry! says:

    Let me say that I am truly sorry for your pain. I pray that NTM will follow the recommendations in the Grace report – and maybe even go a bit further. One question – can NTM bring charges against the perps? Wouldnt that have to be done by the victims? Certainly NTM would need to cooperate – but the crime was committed agains the individuals, not the org. So, not sure we can pin all that on the org.

    Please know that my prayers are with the victims and my eyes are ever watchful of my kids. My wife suffered abuse as a child – but has found healing and has mobed on – she choses not to let it ruin her life, or even govern it. She preferres to look forward and enjoy now – we all have BS in our history we wish was not there – but now we are NEW CREATIONS and old has passed away. Thank God for hope – for a life focused on the future… not ruled by the past. I pray you all can enjoy life and start to move forward as your healing progresses. Thank you for looking back enough to warn the rest of us about the future. I pray that as life moves forward – you will be able to look ahead at all lief and eternity will be, and not remain locked into the past. Thank you for your voice.

  40. Naomi Cleaves says:

    I would like to say something to all the Fanda survivors out there. “Seek and you shall find” It is Gods promise to you. I have been living by this ever since I re-committed my life to God. I have gone through and questioned just about everything taught to me at Fanda. We were taught Biblical facts but a lot of the translation and example that was shown us was flawed. If you want to know the real God just look for him. He loves you. Always. Not just when you are doing the right thing. And he wants honesty and transparency from you, not perfection. You can sin and still be a child of God. You can admit you are wrong and still be a child of God. GRACE said it in the report, we were spiritually abused.

  41. trickle down victum says:

    @J Wheeler
    Dear Amnesia, I completely understand your being afraid to remember but at the same time wanting to remember. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse myself, I know that what has happened in the past definitly affects your decisions, and relationships, and tons of other things in your life today. If you can face these things and heal from them your life will definitly be different, but… much better. I know because I have been facing and dealing with my abuse for 14 years now.

  42. I'm an MK too says:

    “I shall know why, when time is over, And I have ceased to wonder why; Christ will explain each separate anguish In the fair schoolroom of the sky.” –Emily Dickinson INTEGRITY

    Fellow MK’s — you’re in my thoughts and prayers.

  43. Noel says:

    I was never a member of NTM, but had family and friends who were and are members, and I attended NTBI. I’ve followed the story of the children of Fanda on this website and was glad when NTM brought GRACE in. Like others, my feelings while reading the report were shock, disgust, sadness. I knew none of the abusers or victims, but did know some of those who covered up. It hurt to know what those I knew had done and I felt the recommendations were right and just, although it hurt to see them, too. I hate how sin has bent and twisted every part of this world.

    My feelings about the abusers are hard to write down. I am so angry about that. As someone who experienced abuse myself and knowing how my own abuse has wounded me and how it pervades and affects my life, my beliefs and actions years later, I understand the anger that I hear on this board, and share it. I’m still have intense anger about my abuse, although I want to, as God asks me, to “do justly and love mercy,” rather than the other way around (i.e. to expect and desire justice, but not love it or make it an idol, to not just do merciful acts, but to love mercy).

    As for judging what NTM has done, it’s hard to do so with any accuracy, as they have been so guarded about saying more than the few statements on NTM.org. For any information I’ve had to come here. This is where the report is and this is where snippets of NTM’s internal emails are shared. This should not be so! Their reticence in communicating to the public is a tacit continuation of the silence that has long been the shame of NTM. They’ve allowed the post on the abuse to fall off the NTM home page, have done little to update it or inform the “outside world” of what action they have taken. The time for fear, for guardedness, is over.

  44. Tuti Hess says:

    @Walt Bertelsen
    I still have hope that NTM will act. If they don’t then yes will be looking to serve God somewhere else. I choose to trust God in this even though I don’t understand why He has allowed this to go on for so long. He runs the universe so I’m pretty confident He knows what He’s doing. Some may not like this but It’s not about us, it’s about Him! “Vengeance is mine says the Lord I will repay; judgment starts at the house of God. I really want justice to be done here and to see some of these people in jail but I will trust the righteous judge. When you look in the Bible at all the sick, sordid details of various peoples lives you see there is nothing new under the sun from the moment that Eve ate the fruit we’ve all been wallowing around in the muck. Our only hope is in Jesus.

  45. Tuti Hess says:

    @Kati
    Actually was told at the meeting that some have. They are waiting to see what NTM will do.

  46. filtered down victim says:

    filtered down victim :@joie I have been following along on this website, and I am both appalled and relieved. Appalled that these things happened and were covered up in a christian organization, and relieved that it is out , and justice and healing can come. I feel if it comes out in the news, then, thatis what is meant to happen, If you sin like NTM has, then they need to be exposed. Its justice.

  47. Skae says:

    Fanda Eagles-my prayers are with you all as you continue the healing process for the pain you and your families have endured. I too was abused as a child, and the pain doesn’t just go away. It affects every pore of our being.
    As a current member of NTM, I pray that NTM continues to investigate and go back and search out every known case of abuse in the boarding schools. Every victim needs to be heard and those involved need to be held accountable. Thank you Fanda Eagles for bringing this shameful episode in the history of NTM to the forefront.

  48. filtered down victim says:

    @joie
    I have been following along on this website, and I am both appalled and relieved. Appalled that these things happened and were covered up in a christian organization, and relieved that it is out , and justice and healing can come. I feel if it comes out in the news, then, that
    is what is meant to happen, If you sins like NTM has, then they need to be exposed. Its justice.

  49. Ann Pyatt says:

    My heart is aching and I just want to say Thank you to the Fanda Eagles for speaking up, you have made a difference, you have opened my eyes, my children will never be sent to boarding school and I intend to continually remind my children that they are my first ministry (even as adults, God has given me Family as my very first priortity and ministry will always be second to that.) I’m so sorry for all you precious MK’s who have suffered, and I pray that God will heal you all.

  50. Doug says:

    @joie
    Now that Grace has met with NTM and NTM has made their decisions if the story should go to press it should no longer make any difference. My concern was that there seemed to be a stance of “let’s take it to press” to force NTM to acknowledge their guilt before they had made any decisions. A forced acknowledgement really is no acknowledgement. Some say that Grace has forced them. Possibly but at the same time NTM does not have to accept the recommendations. However whatever their decisions are now, positive or negative, they can no longer be made due to “ignorance”. Yes some people presently in authority were ignorant of the extent of the abuse (if not the cover up really didn’t work), but that can no longer be said. Needless to say now is the time to act and any unnecessary delay would show unwillingness to do what is right.

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