I had the B’s as dorm parents, and it was… bad. They were physically, emotionally and sexually abusive to all of us who lived with them. (I say all, because we were all abused by them in one form or another) They were dorm parents for my first three years at school, and the things I learned during that time took the rest of my life to work out and un-learn.
“dear bonnie, i don’t know who started up that blog, but i was very dissapointed to find that there was really only one story going on there! there were several other girls who were abused by other dorm parents years later, including myself. not to mention that most of us suffered from various abuses, not only sexual, but EMOTIONAL, VERBAL and SPIRITUAL.
I think some of you would be surprised to know that though we only gave the link to this site to 70 MKs from Fanda, those 70 passed it on and more than 1000 people from NTM have visited the site in the two days it was up. Most of the anonymous commenters are not MK’s, but are former and current NTM missionaries who are righteously and rightfully indignant about being lied to by leadership about the type of environment they were placing their child into.
Just want to take this opportunity to share a bit of my story.
I was an abuse victim of Fanda, as outlined in the documentation supplied on this site. My story was covered up by NTM.
Years later, I had a life of deep depression, drug addiction, a runaway with a death wish. I was full of self hate and anger and insecurity. I told my parents in a letter from one of my rehabs to give up on me. “Consider me dead already”, I said, “I do.” I believed in God but believed he cared nothing for me.
In the last few years I was introduced to a grace-based church and have come back to Christ and a life of passion and joy that I am so privileged to know. I look back on my wasted years and instead see so much life sprouting there. I am humbled by the relentless sowers along my path who were not dissuaded though I treated them with contempt. I’d been hinting at coming back to Christ when a few years ago God tackled me and brought me to my knees in tears at His goodness and grace. I still spend a lot of time there. Legalism taught me that God hated me but Grace taught me that I am loved indeed. Legalism bound me to impossible perfection but Grace freed me and gave me a heart that longs to obey Him. I still sin, I am remarkable at it, but by the grace of God I get up again to seek Him. I am the prodigal daughter and my testimony is this, there is no life apart from Christ, it is only a half-life, a cheap copy, a chasing after the wind. What I have in Him is life to the fullest. Life Indeed.
While I am one of the creators behind this blog and know that I am not to stop until all this is brought into the open, I want to encourage everyone that this life is ours to claim today! We do not need to wait for repentance or an apology or retribution or justice to start living a joyous life. While my heart longs for it, I know repentance from NTM or even justice is not something my life hinges upon. And today I can forgive because I’ve been forgiven indeed. Even me.
If video doesn’t load please listen to the song here.
I realize that asking for repentance is not a quantifiable thing and it may be hard for you to know “what we want”. Repentance is so much more than fulfilling someone’s demands so you can ‘get to the other side of this’. While I think true repentance would illuminate your path and make clear the steps of restitution, I understand that we cannot count on repentance. I believe real repentance would look something like the below, when acted upon out of a broken and contrite heart.
1. A phone call to every one involved in NTM Senegal (missionaries, parents, MKs, abusers) offering reimbursement of counseling expenses. Provide quality and intensive counseling for a lifetime or however long it is desired at a licensed therapist of the MKs choice.
2. Every person in leadership at that time to be investigated (out of house) as to their involvement and if it was determined they showed any knowledge and lack of response to be immediately dismissed from NTM.
3. A letter of apology written to the Senegalese national church.
4. Public pages taken out in newspapers expressing your deep sorrow and desire to stand behind us now and become our greatest advocate.
5. Each abuser named who is still with NTM to be thoroughly investigated in the presence of NTM, any interested MKs and parents, and an outside mediator/lawyer. Dismissed immediately if found to be guilty, and prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
6. Get a qualified therapist on staff, immediately.
These are things we would like to see happen. I believe a contrite heart would reveal more steps you can make toward restitution and the repairing of the relationship between you, the mission, and us, those who possibly know you best as we grew up under your leadership. Ours hearts really long for a restoration of that relationship. You were our family, and our church.
Words cannot say how disappointed I am regarding New Tribes Mission’s lack of effort to claim responsibility and enforce legitimate consequences for Bill P. A child (my brother) should never be abused. This crime should not happen, ever. Especially when it undermines the trust of parents and child, at no fault of the parent. If sufficient consequences are not dealt to the abuser, regardless of how much time has gone by, it destroys the victims belief in their self worth and importance. Why would this not be so? What reasonable and thinking adult would deny this reality?
The aftermath of my own abuse has affected my children as well as myself and my husband. For years, I suffered from severe depression, and alternate periods of mania. For years, I carried such terrible anger inside me. Read more…
Why, if there is true repentance on the heart of the committee, is it 20 years now and still no phone calls or reaching out toward those that have been wronged in the name of NTM? Only form letters. Why? Is there real repentance? No, this is just a problem that had gotten too large to control or to hide and had to be acknowledged. NTM always had time when people were ‘in sin’ for personal interrogations, lengthy meetings and judgments of sin. But woefully little is done when it is time for them to repent. Do you think NTM needs to make a real study of repentance? (MK to CPC 4/09)
The Mik's story along with the communication between NTM proves that leadership knew and did not act. For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open. Mark 4:22
We know that what happened at Fanda, Senegal is not uncommon to NTM boarding schools around the world. We welcome your story of abuse here if you want to share with us.
While most of us at Fanda were abused in some form what we find especially damaging is the abuse of leadership who chose not to protect us at the time in spite of documented evidence and who have still not reported the crimes to authorities nor sought justice for us today, 20 years later.
taylor nathan: These are totally bias articles, the writer is a victim of something terrible, but i'm an ntm MK. I can tell you this we have a mission, to bring others [...]
ThreeWillows: @Wild bill
I don't really understand what you're trying to say. The fact that you placed forgiveness before justice says a lot to me. As I've stated [...]
More Than Disgusted: Wild bill, that is all well and good. We know that. And criminal acts require interaction with the law and consequences for the abusers. Christian love and mercy also require [...]
Wild bill: As we choose Forgiveness justice and humility,we worship in Sprit and Truth,which destroys the power of lies and Darkness!
Abby: I'm not a ntm mk, but I have a story of "abuse" at an mk school. Today, almost 30 years later, I find myself in an epic struggle for a [...]