The aftermath of my own abuse has affected my children as well as myself and my husband. For years, I suffered from severe depression, and alternate periods of mania. For years, I carried such terrible anger inside me.
Carrying something that damaging ended up affecting everyone around me.
My kids witnessed me tearing drinking glasses from my cupboard in a frenzy of anger, and smashing them onto the floor.
They have heard me screaming in rage and have seen me punch holes into my walls.
I made my children afraid of me because of the anger that was in me.
Praise God, today I can say that He has healed me. I gave Him my anger and He took it willingly. I gave Him my sadness and He took that as well.
I gave Him my hatred and my depression, my grief and my heart.
My kids will be “over-protected” and will probably despise me for it. My daughters will not be allowed to have sleep-overs at friends’ houses.
But, my children are healthy and whole, and ONLY because of God taking my past from me, and holding it Himself.
-bonnie
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