Comments on: about http://fandaeagles.com Our Voice Fri, 20 Apr 2012 18:08:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Bemused http://fandaeagles.com/about/comment-page-2/#comment-123862 Bemused Wed, 16 Nov 2011 18:56:23 +0000 http://fandaeagles.com/?page_id=2#comment-123862 <blockquote cite="#commentbody-2903"> <strong><a href="#comment-2903" rel="nofollow">Chris Horgan </a> :</strong>I read this blog and know it is all true. It was my experience too. I left ntm in January 1992. Even today the shame I feel at allowing myself to be part of an organisation that is as controlling and abusive as ntm is haunts me. I was told the ntm leadership were the holy spirit in my life, amongst many other things. I was part of the leadership and a committee member in Australia. After I left I found as many people who suffered under ntm when I was a part of it, whether they were still members or not, and asked their forgiveness for my actions. I know of people that have ended their lives, and some that have tried. I know of people who are so damaged by their experience they cannot speak of it. I know of people who cannot return to their faith. This is not a christian experience. c.</blockquote> Hi Chris, Thank you for your honesty. I was a kid when you entered NTM, and remember you as the good sort who taught us how to light fires safely in the bush (maybe that explains my arsonist tendencies, just joking). Then we ended up on the same "field", where the nightmare really began. You had the courage to step out when the penny dropped. Wish my father had had the same courage, but then there was a good reason why that never happened. He liked being a big fish in a small pond, it suited his "humble" ego. So he carries on to this day, exploiting others, abusing them if they don't see things his way and humiliating anyone who gets in his way. I ask myself regularly how someone committed to "opening the eyes of others to the truth", somehow had his eyes so firmly closed to what was going on around him? Or did he have them closed, did this natural born survivor bought up in the school of hard knocks with a clever mind know exactly what was going on and for his own reasons decided to stay within the environment that was destroying those he pretended he actually cared for? For your honesty you have my respect and I am confident the respect of many other MKs. If you read this, would like to make contact. I'm contactable through the personal messages.

Chris Horgan :I read this blog and know it is all true.
It was my experience too.
I left ntm in January 1992. Even today the shame I feel at allowing myself to be part of an organisation that is as controlling and abusive as ntm is haunts me.
I was told the ntm leadership were the holy spirit in my life, amongst many other things.
I was part of the leadership and a committee member in Australia. After I left I found as many people who suffered under ntm when I was a part of it, whether they were still members or not, and asked their forgiveness for my actions.
I know of people that have ended their lives, and some that have tried. I know of people who are so damaged by their experience they cannot speak of it. I know of people who cannot return to their faith.
This is not a christian experience.
c.

Hi Chris,

Thank you for your honesty. I was a kid when you entered NTM, and remember you as the good sort who taught us how to light fires safely in the bush (maybe that explains my arsonist tendencies, just joking). Then we ended up on the same “field”, where the nightmare really began.

You had the courage to step out when the penny dropped. Wish my father had had the same courage, but then there was a good reason why that never happened. He liked being a big fish in a small pond, it suited his “humble” ego. So he carries on to this day, exploiting others, abusing them if they don’t see things his way and humiliating anyone who gets in his way. I ask myself regularly how someone committed to “opening the eyes of others to the truth”, somehow had his eyes so firmly closed to what was going on around him? Or did he have them closed, did this natural born survivor bought up in the school of hard knocks with a clever mind know exactly what was going on and for his own reasons decided to stay within the environment that was destroying those he pretended he actually cared for?
For your honesty you have my respect and I am confident the respect of many other MKs.
If you read this, would like to make contact. I’m contactable through the personal messages.

]]> By: Debbie http://fandaeagles.com/about/comment-page-2/#comment-107472 Debbie Thu, 06 Oct 2011 15:48:36 +0000 http://fandaeagles.com/?page_id=2#comment-107472 I was an MK and grew up at boarding school. For the last five years I have been plodding through a process of healing, step by step, which has been addressing my issues of abandonment. My emotions were dysfunctional, my anxiety was out of control, my loneliness was always there even when I was surrounded by people, I never felt equal to my peers, I had a lot of anxiety when I had to discipline my kids, I was overprotective of them, I lacked emotional intimacy with my husband...it felt like post traumatic stress, like scabs had been ripped off, revealing carefully hidden sores that I began to clean out. I was still wearing a "coat" in the summer which I had put on in the "winter" at the boarding school and it was hampering my relationships and joy. I read the book Changes that Heal and it changed my life. It helped my find the underlying issues that were causing all the symptoms in my life. As I became aware of them, my eyes were opened to the fact that my perceptions were distorted by coping mechanisms from the past. It taught me how bonding (we went to boarding school from first grade on...), boundaries, separation of good and bad, and growing into adulthood with internal permission to disagree...had "gone into hiding" when I was young and I delayed my development in these areas because it wasn't safe. Now it was not too late at the age of 49 to bring these areas of development into the light and to nurture each area until they came out of hiding and bloomed to maturity. They are not mature yet, but I have come far enough to experience the light at the end of the tunnel. For those sexually abused, The Wounded Heart has spoken profoundly (another book). I would be glad to engage anyone in discussion of how each area of completion or maturity effects our day to day life. I was an MK and grew up at boarding school. For the last five years I have been plodding through a process of healing, step by step, which has been addressing my issues of abandonment. My emotions were dysfunctional, my anxiety was out of control, my loneliness was always there even when I was surrounded by people, I never felt equal to my peers, I had a lot of anxiety when I had to discipline my kids, I was overprotective of them, I lacked emotional intimacy with my husband…it felt like post traumatic stress, like scabs had been ripped off, revealing carefully hidden sores that I began to clean out. I was still wearing a “coat” in the summer which I had put on in the “winter” at the boarding school and it was hampering my relationships and joy. I read the book Changes that Heal and it changed my life. It helped my find the underlying issues that were causing all the symptoms in my life. As I became aware of them, my eyes were opened to the fact that my perceptions were distorted by coping mechanisms from the past. It taught me how bonding (we went to boarding school from first grade on…), boundaries, separation of good and bad, and growing into adulthood with internal permission to disagree…had “gone into hiding” when I was young and I delayed my development in these areas because it wasn’t safe. Now it was not too late at the age of 49 to bring these areas of development into the light and to nurture each area until they came out of hiding and bloomed to maturity. They are not mature yet, but I have come far enough to experience the light at the end of the tunnel. For those sexually abused, The Wounded Heart has spoken profoundly (another book). I would be glad to engage anyone in discussion of how each area of completion or maturity effects our day to day life.

]]> By: More Than Disgusted http://fandaeagles.com/about/comment-page-2/#comment-64989 More Than Disgusted Thu, 30 Jun 2011 17:55:13 +0000 http://fandaeagles.com/?page_id=2#comment-64989 I am a parent of MKs, abused as an adult miss. My heart goes out to all the MKs and that's why I keep reading here. Maybe we can help? Maybe we can be a part of the healing process? Maybe we can STOP THIS! I am a parent of MKs, abused as an adult miss.
My heart goes out to all the MKs and that’s why I keep reading here.
Maybe we can help? Maybe we can be a part of the healing process? Maybe we can STOP THIS!

]]> By: Anne http://fandaeagles.com/about/comment-page-2/#comment-64691 Anne Wed, 29 Jun 2011 14:45:33 +0000 http://fandaeagles.com/?page_id=2#comment-64691 Thank you for your kind words. That was the first time I've ever expressed myself via the computer. I am so sorry for what you all had to endure. There was no safe place for you to fall. Even telling the people that loved you most (your parents) was a no no. I trained with some of your abusers and am sure I know at least one of those that were abused. There is something so special about children and all children I come across I try to leave a little bit of love with. When I was in Training I was accused twice of being gay because of my affection with children. How ridiculous to be accused of this because I formed a group once a week with kids. Meanwhile their were young lives being ripped apart in the Mk dorms and no one was observant or caring enough to stop it. I'm so very sorry for all that you had to endure. Thank you for your virtual hug. Right back at you. Thank you for your kind words. That was the first time I’ve ever expressed myself via the computer. I am so sorry for what you all had to endure. There was no safe place for you to fall. Even telling the people that loved you most (your parents) was a no no. I trained with some of your abusers and am sure I know at least one of those that were abused. There is something so special about children and all children I come across I try to leave a little bit of love with. When I was in Training I was accused twice of being gay because of my affection with children. How ridiculous to be accused of this because I formed a group once a week with kids. Meanwhile their were young lives being ripped apart in the Mk dorms and no one was observant or caring enough to stop it. I’m so very sorry for all that you had to endure. Thank you for your virtual hug. Right back at you.

]]> By: More Than Disgusted http://fandaeagles.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-64223 More Than Disgusted Mon, 27 Jun 2011 14:08:51 +0000 http://fandaeagles.com/?page_id=2#comment-64223 <a href="#comment-63801" rel="nofollow">@Anne Fillmore</a> Anne, Chris Horgan's post was one of the most hopeful ones because of his repentance. But the people he mentioned have been on our hearts since then! We enter into your pain as much as we can and loathe what happened to you. We are dealing with our own abuse at the hands of NTM leaders. It was very recent, even though they maintain that it doesn't happen any longer. We know of other recent cases, also. We will continue to pray for you and for your healing. Here's a virtual, but heartfelt hug! @Anne Fillmore
Anne,
Chris Horgan’s post was one of the most hopeful ones because of his repentance.
But the people he mentioned have been on our hearts since then!
We enter into your pain as much as we can and loathe what happened to you.
We are dealing with our own abuse at the hands of NTM leaders. It was very recent, even though they maintain that it doesn’t happen any longer. We know of other recent cases, also.
We will continue to pray for you and for your healing.
Here’s a virtual, but heartfelt hug!

]]> By: Anne Fillmore http://fandaeagles.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-63801 Anne Fillmore Sat, 25 Jun 2011 10:17:11 +0000 http://fandaeagles.com/?page_id=2#comment-63801 I was one of the people Chris Horgon talked about. After my experience with New Tribes Mission, I attempted suicide, which a five year depression followed. My faith is in the toilet to this very day. I left New Tribes Mission in 1984 with a very heavy heart. I dream(nightmares mostly) on a regular basis all these years later. I was one of the people Chris Horgon talked about. After my experience with New Tribes Mission, I attempted suicide, which a five year depression followed. My faith is in the toilet to this very day. I left New Tribes Mission in 1984 with a very heavy heart. I dream(nightmares mostly) on a regular basis all these years later.

]]> By: Anne Fillmore http://fandaeagles.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-63800 Anne Fillmore Sat, 25 Jun 2011 10:09:02 +0000 http://fandaeagles.com/?page_id=2#comment-63800 <a href="#comment-2903" rel="nofollow">@Chris Horgan </a> I would love to here from you. @Chris Horgan
I would love to here from you.

]]> By: MK sheri http://fandaeagles.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-17385 MK sheri Sat, 23 Oct 2010 21:07:57 +0000 http://fandaeagles.com/?page_id=2#comment-17385 I thought that maybe Red Barren had some type of psychological disorder. I sent a few of RBs posts to a psychologist I know and asked him what he thought. This is a part of his response to me. My guess? Typos are too funny to be real. Maybe the author is intentionally trying to say things and uses that problem to keep identity masked I thought that maybe Red Barren had some type of psychological disorder. I sent a few of RBs posts to a psychologist I know and asked him what he thought. This is a part of his response to me.

My guess? Typos are too funny to be real. Maybe the author is intentionally trying to say things and uses that problem to keep identity masked

]]> By: JERRY BARTLETT http://fandaeagles.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-17277 JERRY BARTLETT Fri, 22 Oct 2010 18:48:00 +0000 http://fandaeagles.com/?page_id=2#comment-17277 <a href="#comment-17143" rel="nofollow">@shadowspring </a> Shadowspring I don1t know how to communicate very well on the internet. My email is jvbartlett54@yahoo.com. @shadowspring
Shadowspring I don1t know how to communicate very well on the internet. My email is jvbartlett54@yahoo.com.

]]> By: shadowspring http://fandaeagles.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-17143 shadowspring Thu, 21 Oct 2010 12:43:25 +0000 http://fandaeagles.com/?page_id=2#comment-17143 <a href="#comment-14113" rel="nofollow">@JERRY BARTLETT</a> Is it possible that you could join the forums and private message me? Shadowspring @JERRY BARTLETT
Is it possible that you could join the forums and private message me? Shadowspring

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