It’s been an overwhelming and emotional experience for all of us. Where we were prepared for a possible backlash we were instead flooded with an inbox full of Fanda MKs telling their stories, “I thought I was the only one…I thought I must have been so bad that I forced my dorm parents to abuse me… I thought I was just weak…my emotional responses are dysfunctional to this day…I no longer believe in God…I know God exists but He must hate me… I thought something was seriously wrong with me… I have panic attacks and abandonment issues…I cry knowing what we were forced to endure, when someone could have stopped it.”
First, it’s hugely on my heart the need to express that this blog is not borne out of vindictiveness or a need for revenge. It breaks my heart to think of the people who will be hurt by this information being exposed. Those who hurt me by their inaction and silence. Those who called me a liar. Even those who abused me. My heart aches for you.
I guess the question is, do we want to know the truth at any cost? Or is it our responsibility as MKs to bear the pain and the shame of this, alone? We have been doing that for 20 years. I know many of us willingly would sacrifice ourselves for our parents, and many of us have done so our entire lives. At Fanda we were trained to take care of our parents emotionally from an early age, to not tell them things at boarding school were horrifically bad since it would pull them away from the Lord’s work. Combine that with a child’s natural desire for their parent to be the strong one and the moral compass and you have a perfect recipe for denial. I think we could go on living in that half-life until we grow old. But if we face the truth now and find healing, then a real, full and vibrant life is waiting for all of us to enter it.
This blog follows 8 months of direct communication with NTM with a sincere hope that they would be as outraged as we by the facts that have been uncovered, and would finally and whole-heartedly champion us, the victims, after all these years. Unfortunately the recent communication from NTM showed us that NTM is not interested in finding out what really happened at Fanda. After 20 years of not being given a voice, now we are finally speaking. This is our voice.
What happened at Fanda is not our shame to bear, and what good comes of keeping things buried? The silence and secrecy only ensures the victims feel dirty and shameful, while it covers the perpetrators. That and that alone is our motive for bringing this to the light. We have several times gone to NTM seeking justice, unfortunately NTM refuses to acknowledge their criminal culpability in this.
Matthew 18 says “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
I have followed the protocols from the very book NTM claims as a manual – the Bible. I have gone to NTM alone. I have gone with two or three witnesses. I have flown from West Africa to Florida with witnesses to meet with NTM face to face. It is with deep sorrow that now after 20 years and eight long months we are telling it to you, the church, the body. We hope you will hear our heart.
The Fanda Eagles