Comments on: Email to New Tribes missionaries

By: Tuti Hess

Tuti Hess — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 14:09:48 +0000

@John doe Dear john doe so sorry for the abuse suffered. Please seek God in regards to coming forward with evidence of the abuse for the sake of others. Please ask God for strength in order to help others. Thank you for writing on here.

By: Denise Amstutz K.

Denise Amstutz K. — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 04:16:42 +0000

Grace wants to hear from you, please consider talking with them.@John doe

By: shadowspring

shadowspring — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 17:36:13 +0000

Parent of an MK : Under another site, Joseph III writes: “I think it will be interesting who all the Lord will hold accountable for these abuse cases, and my thoughts are the parents will be at the top of the list for having sacrificed something God mandated them to be responsible for. ” With all due respect, Joseph III, I beg to differ. Blaming the parents for the abuse that took place at a Christian school – a place where they honestly felt their children would be kept safe from harm – is a real stretch. Did they have the slightest idea that their children would be sexually abused in that environment? Of course not. Knowing what they know now (hindsight being 20-20), would they do the same thing again? I don’t think so. Unfortunately, parents cannot control what happens to their children. Try as they might, they cannot protect them from every kind of evil. How do you suppose those parents feel who sent their kids off to Columbine High School on that fateful morning in 1999? Are they to blame for the massacre that took place that day? Are they to be held accountable for having decided to send their children to that school? In the midst of all the finger-pointing, let’s not forget who the real evil-doers are: the ones who committed the crimes. THEY are the ones who should be judged, not those parents who made the painful decision to send their kids to a mission school, with the belief that by doing so, they were providing the healthiest and safest environment for their children. In case you haven’t noticed, Joseph III, we live in a sick and fallen world. You do not have to go far to find evil. Tragically, our own daughter was raped IN OUR OWN HOME by someone we all knew. Who will you hold accountable for THAT?

Parents are accountable for abdicating their responsibilities to bring their (own) children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. In delegating that responsibility to someone else, you remain de facto responsible for the actions of your parental stand-ins. Ignorance is no excuse. Own up to the fact that you let others convince you that the only way to fulfill your call as a missionary was to farm out your call as a parent. You bought it, you obeyed, and the people you trusted to love and nurture your children failed you. But your responsibility remains. You are the parent.

By: Kari

Kari — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 19:57:50 +0000

Please consider writing to Grace about this, and talking about it on the forums may encourage others to come forward.

By: Shary Hauber

Shary Hauber — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 03:59:38 +0000

John I am so sorry. I am so angry. People must stand up and tell all those “kids” that man had no right to use God to protect his sin. Those kids will not be in danger of hell for telling the truth, for reporting him. He is in danger of hell for offending “one of these little ones” as Jesus referred to child.

By: John doe

John doe — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 17:07:32 +0000

You have no idea what atrocities were committed against young innocent children by the dorm dad Les was his first name at the NTM dorm at Aritao in the Philippines starting in 1986 and continued for SEVERAL years. The abused were sworn to secrecy "in front of God almighty" and were made to believe if they were to ever mention these things it was a breach of trust with God and they would burn in hell for telling the truth. When discovered, the dorm dad justified why he did these things and confessed to only minor infractions, and NTM officials only asked him and his family to leave. The abusers that were confronted LIED for him to protect their place in heaven. There was no justice. There are right now, as I am typing this, Adults in their mid 30's who suffered torturous physical sexual abuse in his office, in the lounge, and in their own rooms, who still have trouble sleeping at night. Who still have nightmares, and breath taking anxiety attacks. NTM knew of these things and offered no councelling, no justice, no... NOTHING! @Former NTM MK (Philippines)

By: Former NTM MK (Philippines)

Former NTM MK (Philippines) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 15:08:45 +0000

Like Another Former MK, above, I’m also curious whether this forum has uncovered information about the sexual abuse of children by the dorm dad at the NTM dorm at Aritao in the Philippines in late 80′s and early 90′s. While I am not one of those abused, I was in the dorm at the time and I remember strange things going on, such as the dorm dad in question entering our room when my roommates and I were asleep. When the abuse came to light several years later, the field committee confronted the dorm dad, who confessed and left the field, with his family, immediately.

Until I found this website, I thought this was an isolated incident. I’m saddened that abuse in NTM dorms was relatively widespread, and I’m interested to see what measures NTM takes to address what seems to have been systemic problems.

By: Shary Hauber

Shary Hauber — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 23:49:26 +0000

We need to be careful about condemning parents for not training their children. Most character is formed by the age of five. So most of a child’s character is formed by the time they go to boarding school. I’m not saying it is good to send children away at that age but most of the influence they receive will be from their parents even though they go to boarding school at six. There are many children who have gone to boarding school who have not been abused but lovingly care for by wonderful people. The parents may not have been wise to trust the dorm parents but that is the fault of the leaders who covered up all the evil that was happening. Missions were foolish to believe abusers who claimed they were sorry and would never do it again. The only parents who are at fault are those who when their children tell them about the abuse as children or even later as adults do not believe the story.

I went to Mamou and some dorm parents and teachers were evil other were wonderful caring people. Sad to say the evil ones did so much damage that I will be dealing with it all my life. My parents had no idea what was going on but when they found out a few years ago they were deviated. Yes I too am at fault for not as an adult bring it to the attention of authorities. I realize my fear to report could have caused other children to be abused. That is way it must be reported quickly and abusers remove from contact with children. This is why I am so supportive of what they are doing on this web site.

The abusers get center stage because of their evil deeds that are out of the norm. They deserve to be punished for their sins. The mission boards have created an atmosphere where all dorm parents are bad which is not true. But to cover up the bad ones is a great disfavor to the good ones. If the bad ones where removed and criminal charges given to them immediately the good dorm parents would never be suspected of doing wrong. As it is now people who hear about the cover ups question anyone who is or was a dorm parent.

But don’t blame parents for the abuse. They may be guilty of other things but not the abuse.

By: josephIII

josephIII — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 04:05:11 +0000

My fear is the parents who had someone else take over the primary part in discipling their kids. All parents should never be so trusting even in a “christian” invironment to not ask the hard questions of dorm parents. All dorm settings were different, but the ones that seemed to produce longer lasting effects are those where the parents saw their kids during christmas and summer break. You can’t tell me that God would have you allow for such massive times apart you still be able to disciple your kids, they are adapting to someone else’s standards. Dorm schools don’t parallel what takes place in your home or in the example of Columbine. My main problem has been how many parents did “what was mandated or thought to be the best for the gospel to go forward”. Health and safety don’t replace the first given mandate to fathers to disciple their kids. Most parents walked in fear of leadership of the 70′s-80′s because they didn’t want to leave that in which they had grown to love. The responsibility was compromised by fear of man and what others would say if they tried to homeschool or left the field altogether. Christianity held you in high regards when you were in ministry but if you left, you lost a ton. I just don’t buy any arguement before the Lord on safety or health being the reason for sending your kids away. If God sent you there as a family, he will take care of each and every one. Did you go to the field as a family or just as a husband and wife team? Many felt it was their parents thing and never witnessed the blessing of seeing first hand God at work, using you and your parents.

By: Parent of an MK

Parent of an MK — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 18:23:32 +0000

Under another site, Joseph III writes: “I think it will be interesting who all the Lord will hold accountable for these abuse cases, and my thoughts are the parents will be at the top of the list for having sacrificed something God mandated them to be responsible for. ”

With all due respect, Joseph III, I beg to differ. Blaming the parents for the abuse that took place at a Christian school – a place where they honestly felt their children would be kept safe from harm – is a real stretch. Did they have the slightest idea that their children would be sexually abused in that environment? Of course not. Knowing what they know now (hindsight being 20-20), would they do the same thing again? I don’t think so.

Unfortunately, parents cannot control what happens to their children. Try as they might, they cannot protect them from every kind of evil. How do you suppose those parents feel who sent their kids off to Columbine High School on that fateful morning in 1999? Are they to blame for the massacre that took place that day? Are they to be held accountable for having decided to send their children to that school?

In the midst of all the finger-pointing, let’s not forget who the real evil-doers are: the ones who committed the crimes. THEY are the ones who should be judged, not those parents who made the painful decision to send their kids to a mission school, with the belief that by doing so, they were providing the healthiest and safest environment for their children.

In case you haven’t noticed, Joseph III, we live in a sick and fallen world. You do not have to go far to find evil. Tragically, our own daughter was raped IN OUR OWN HOME by someone we all knew. Who will you hold accountable for THAT?