This is Kari
Just want to take this opportunity to share a bit of my story.
I was an abuse victim of Fanda, as outlined in the documentation supplied on this site. My story was covered up by NTM.
Years later, I had a life of deep depression, drug addiction, a runaway with a death wish. I was full of self hate and anger and insecurity. I told my parents in a letter from one of my rehabs to give up on me. “Consider me dead already”, I said, “I do.” I believed in God but believed he cared nothing for me.
In the last few years I was introduced to a grace-based church and have come back to Christ and a life of passion and joy that I am so privileged to know. I look back on my wasted years and instead see so much life sprouting there. I am humbled by the relentless sowers along my path who were not dissuaded though I treated them with contempt. I’d been hinting at coming back to Christ when a few years ago God tackled me and brought me to my knees in tears at His goodness and grace. I still spend a lot of time there. Legalism taught me that God hated me but Grace taught me that I am loved indeed. Legalism bound me to impossible perfection but Grace freed me and gave me a heart that longs to obey Him. I still sin, I am remarkable at it, but by the grace of God I get up again to seek Him. I am the prodigal daughter and my testimony is this, there is no life apart from Christ, it is only a half-life, a cheap copy, a chasing after the wind. What I have in Him is life to the fullest. Life Indeed.
While I am one of the creators behind this blog and know that I am not to stop until all this is brought into the open, I want to encourage everyone that this life is ours to claim today! We do not need to wait for repentance or an apology or retribution or justice to start living a joyous life. While my heart longs for it, I know repentance from NTM or even justice is not something my life hinges upon. And today I can forgive because I’ve been forgiven indeed. Even me.
If video doesn’t load please listen to the song here.
Truly, the Father’s love changes everything. People are still a pain, but Father God’s tenderness embraces us all.
thank you so much, everyone, for sharing in my story. love.
Thank you Kari for writing and speaking up. Forgive me for not asking more questions about this and blindly accepting that all had been taken care of. Through this hopefully abuse that might be going on now can be stopped. God is using you to touch others and protect others. Well done.
Kari:
Guess I’m just waking up to some things and didn’t even realize these stories were here. Call me blind….but God gives life and eyes to see! Thank you for sharing what you have. You are truly amazing (I suppose that may sound like humdrum ditto to what others have said. I will never say that anything that happened in my story is in the same category as those of you and many others of our “children”…but there is the same death that the same FAther gives life to…and reveals himself as delighting in his children….
Keep going, and help us understand better how to truly love.
Thank you for sharing your story, Kari. I praise God how he has helped you discover his grace and healing.
In one of the many books that my wife, Faith, has studied, the author states that in her experience as a counselor the most important factor in healing is for the victim to be able to tell their story. It seems to me that when it comes to the issue of sexual abuse the church has done almost everything wrong that we could possibly do wrong. The victims of this evil were told to forgive and forget (which is still what is being taught by many of our christian leaders) which amounts to ” just be quiet and don’t rock the boat”. The one thing that might help a victim to heal and find some comfort by telling their story, we have said you should not do. We as the Body of Christ must wake up and confront offenders holding them accountible for their sin. We also need to repent of our failures in dealing with this issue. http://speakingtruthinlove.org
Dear Kari,
I just read this yesterday, and I thought of your blog, and the wounded hearts here. It happened to Paul Young, author of “The Shack” too. What the enemy meant to steal, kill, and destroy, can be turned around by GOD into hope and redemption for every precious one here and for scores of other broken wounded hearts whom your testimonies touch.
This quote is from a Guidepost article which is posted online here:
I also acknowledge that God was always there for me even when i felt that no-one else was. I had shut him out for a long time but could never not believe that he was there waiting for me. People do bad things, sometimes in Gods name, but God gave us all the freedom of choice and unfortunately, this is why bad things happen to people that God loves so much! i forgive because he forgave me, and I LIVE because of forgiveness.
Kari, thanks for sharing your story. I praise God with you that His grace broke through your pain.
You’re an amazing person, Kari. This is inspiring. I can’t help but think that The Lord our God has prepared you for something great.
I’m so glad you shared this. Thank you.
kari, your story is amazing and heart-felt and beautiful.
i am so glad that we have Grace from God!
thank you for posting this.
I’m in tears. Praise GOD for HIS redemptive power!