“dear bonnie, i don’t know who started up that blog, but i was very dissapointed to find that there was really only one story going on there! there were several other girls who were abused by other dorm parents years later, including myself. not to mention that most of us suffered from various abuses, not only sexual, but EMOTIONAL, VERBAL and SPIRITUAL.
Two people behind this blog can corroborate Vicky’s stories of these particular dormparents and add their own stories besides.
My name is Victoria Frayne. I am coming forward with information regarding the abuse that took place in Fanda almost 20 years ago. I am a victim and I want my story to be heard.
There are many forms of abuse-emotional, physical, spiritual and sexual. To name a few. While I was growing up in Fanda I endured many of these, handed to me from the people who said they were there to do “Gods work”. When I first came to Fanda, my parents were studying french in Bignona, and I was in the little dorm. Being a small girl and away from my parents, I was lonely and afraid and not sure of how to properly take care of myself.
I think some of you would be surprised to know that though we only gave the link to this site to 70 MKs from Fanda, those 70 passed it on and more than 1000 people from NTM have visited the site in the two days it was up. Most of the anonymous commenters are not MK’s, but are former and current NTM missionaries who are righteously and rightfully indignant about being lied to by leadership about the type of environment they were placing their child into.
Just want to take this opportunity to share a bit of my story.
I was an abuse victim of Fanda, as outlined in the documentation supplied on this site. My story was covered up by NTM.
Years later, I had a life of deep depression, drug addiction, a runaway with a death wish. I was full of self hate and anger and insecurity. I told my parents in a letter from one of my rehabs to give up on me. “Consider me dead already”, I said, “I do.” I believed in God but believed he cared nothing for me.
In the last few years I was introduced to a grace-based church and have come back to Christ and a life of passion and joy that I am so privileged to know. I look back on my wasted years and instead see so much life sprouting there. I am humbled by the relentless sowers along my path who were not dissuaded though I treated them with contempt. I’d been hinting at coming back to Christ when a few years ago God tackled me and brought me to my knees in tears at His goodness and grace. I still spend a lot of time there. Legalism taught me that God hated me but Grace taught me that I am loved indeed. Legalism bound me to impossible perfection but Grace freed me and gave me a heart that longs to obey Him. I still sin, I am remarkable at it, but by the grace of God I get up again to seek Him. I am the prodigal daughter and my testimony is this, there is no life apart from Christ, it is only a half-life, a cheap copy, a chasing after the wind. What I have in Him is life to the fullest. Life Indeed.
While I am one of the creators behind this blog and know that I am not to stop until all this is brought into the open, I want to encourage everyone that this life is ours to claim today! We do not need to wait for repentance or an apology or retribution or justice to start living a joyous life. While my heart longs for it, I know repentance from NTM or even justice is not something my life hinges upon. And today I can forgive because I’ve been forgiven indeed. Even me.
If video doesn’t load please listen to the song here.
I realize that asking for repentance is not a quantifiable thing and it may be hard for you to know “what we want”. Repentance is so much more than fulfilling someone’s demands so you can ‘get to the other side of this’. While I think true repentance would illuminate your path and make clear the steps of restitution, I understand that we cannot count on repentance. I believe real repentance would look something like the below, when acted upon out of a broken and contrite heart.
1. A phone call to every one involved in NTM Senegal (missionaries, parents, MKs, abusers) offering reimbursement of counseling expenses. Provide quality and intensive counseling for a lifetime or however long it is desired at a licensed therapist of the MKs choice.
2. Every person in leadership at that time to be investigated (out of house) as to their involvement and if it was determined they showed any knowledge and lack of response to be immediately dismissed from NTM.
3. A letter of apology written to the Senegalese national church.
4. Public pages taken out in newspapers expressing your deep sorrow and desire to stand behind us now and become our greatest advocate.
5. Each abuser named who is still with NTM to be thoroughly investigated in the presence of NTM, any interested MKs and parents, and an outside mediator/lawyer. Dismissed immediately if found to be guilty, and prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
6. Get a qualified therapist on staff, immediately.
These are things we would like to see happen. I believe a contrite heart would reveal more steps you can make toward restitution and the repairing of the relationship between you, the mission, and us, those who possibly know you best as we grew up under your leadership. Ours hearts really long for a restoration of that relationship. You were our family, and our church.
Please read these amazing essays, letter and stories from MKs who went through this long before we did. Read more…
Words cannot say how disappointed I am regarding New Tribes Mission’s lack of effort to claim responsibility and enforce legitimate consequences for Bill P. A child (my brother) should never be abused. This crime should not happen, ever. Especially when it undermines the trust of parents and child, at no fault of the parent. If sufficient consequences are not dealt to the abuser, regardless of how much time has gone by, it destroys the victims belief in their self worth and importance. Why would this not be so? What reasonable and thinking adult would deny this reality?
As a young child at Fanda, I was supposed to be protected from the supposed evils of the “non christian” world I was put in. I myself endured many abuses while at Fanda and years later, Im about to have my voice heard as well.
I went to outside to play with friends after being beaten with a belt and they asked why I had buckle marks on my legs. For not brushing my teeth.
The aftermath of my own abuse has affected my children as well as myself and my husband. For years, I suffered from severe depression, and alternate periods of mania. For years, I carried such terrible anger inside me.
Read more…
Why, if there is true repentance on the heart of the committee, is it 20 years now and still no phone calls or reaching out toward those that have been wronged in the name of NTM? Only form letters. Why? Is there real repentance? No, this is just a problem that had gotten too large to control or to hide and had to be acknowledged. NTM always had time when people were ‘in sin’ for personal interrogations, lengthy meetings and judgments of sin. But woefully little is done when it is time for them to repent. Do you think NTM needs to make a real study of repentance? (MK to CPC 4/09)
1987 – First victim reports Dave B. Her parents and the FC don’t believe her. 3 page document
Sept 29, 1988 – Ron A’s letter to the budiks re: Miks leaving the field because of their kids
1989 – John Mik calls ntm to report his daughter’s abuse, Dave B. admits to abuse of Kari Mik and several others
October 1992 – NTM phone call with Dave B in which he confesses again to NTM and apologizes for the last 5 years. 2 page document
April 1997 - letter of apology
July 1997 – Potential victims and specific incidents (children in Dave B and Phil G dorm)
September 1997 – NTM Abuse investigation officially begins.
October 1997 – Investigation letters sent to Dave B and Phil G
May 1998 – Wyma’s letter to Frank apologizing that it’s still an issue
June 1998 – Letter to unnamed victim sent
Feb 1999 – Mikitson’s letter to FC
April 09 – NTM EC confirms the date they officially learned of Mik’s abuse and that they did not launch an investigation for 8 years
1997 Investigation seems to consist of sending a form letter to all involved and putting the onus on the victims to respond. Paul W was dispatched to Senegal to interview students. Names several that NTM needs to follow up with. No follow up is done.
Present – No charges filed against any abuser. No follow up with students. No repentance on the part of NTM. Many abusers still with NTM today.
The press and several lawyers have contacted us expressing interest in our stories since we’ve started coming public with it. We would LOVE to be able to say that NTM is our greatest advocate, after our parents.
Read more documentation
Response to Kari M’s request for information.
date Fri, Apr 3, 2009 at 10:57 PM
subject Some new information
mailed-by ntm.org
Kari,
I will try to get the paper trail on this but so far it looks like your dad wrote to the field (they remember it but didn’t find the letter) and told them about the abuse. There were no details and they had a hard time believing it and felt like your dad was using that as a way to vindicate his reason for not going to the tribe. Evidently, in about 1989, your dad called someone here in the States and said that you were in counseling and the abuse story came out. (It wasn’t clear whether you told your folks about the abuse and then went to counseling , or you went to counseling and the story came out.) Three men sat down with Dave B here in the States and confronted him. He finally confessed to some involvement in abuse with you and a couple of others. Your dad also said that the counselor had alerted the authorities regarding Dave B. Since the authorities had already been alerted by the counselor, NTM did not report him at that time. NTM did know from your dad that you were in counseling. I’m not sure whether or not they contacted your parents – possibly I will find out a bit more about that when I receive the documents that Scott Ross sent to Sanford.
Dave B was later reported to the authorities again by NTM both in Florida and Georgia in about 1997. According to what I’ve read from the material sent from Senegal – it seems that the information from the meeting here in the States with Dave B ‘s confession, was not relayed to the field until much later. That is hard to believe but that is what I’m hearing. Dave B was dismissed from NTM at the time of his confession.
Scott Ross had told me in the past, that NTM has an open policy regarding people looking at personal files. Scott confirmed to me today that we do indeed have an open policy but it requires someone to personally look at the files at NTM Headquarters. If they want a copy of something it can be made for them at that time. The same applies to any field committee minutes that may be in the files at Sanford. However, If you want to see information regarding you and your family, that is in the files on a field, they can show that to you there. I am sorry that I did not understand this from the beginning. As I mentioned, I took the open policy to mean that I could send you anything from here.
Read more documentation
Admin notes – I am so saddened that an investigation against Dave B wasn’t launched until 1997. Nearly 10 years after he was reported to the field and supposedly dismissed.
Read more documentation
Letter written from Ron A of the Senegal Field Committee to the Miks and the Budiks after the Mik family determined they could not continue to board their children at Fanda, and were not permitted to live at the school. They were told they were in spiritual rebellion to the leadership and thus were dismissed from the field. This is right before they knew of their daughter’s abuse.
Today in 2009, Ron A of the FC says they made some mistakes and would have done things differently. Instead of allowing Miks to live on the boarding school base with their kids for 6 months they would be dismissed from the field immediately.
September 29, 1988
Dear John & Diane
The believers and others have been asking when you will be coining back to stay. At first we were able to say it would be by Christmas or that it wasn’t time yet. But now that we have sent your cupboards and other things out, people have really begun to say that for sure you are not coming back. We feel that we need to explain to the believers, at least, that you say that you have decided to not return to Chobo and why. What follows is what we are planning to tell the believers.
What we have to tell you today is hard for us to say. We wish that we didn’t have to say it. John has told us that he and Diane will not be coming back to Chobo to live and work. He said that he is not needed here in the work. He says that he needs to be with his children and that he can’t be here helping you and meeting the needs of his children both. He says that the Lord is leading him to do this, and that he is in fellowship with the Lord.
All of this is probably very hard for you to understand. The Lord used John in your salvation. Many of you first heard the Word of God through him. You probably feel he is really following the Lord. You love him as a friend and brother in the Lord.
We love him too. We feel that we need to explain something’s to you. John will not agree with what we are going to say. Even we whites who seem to be following the Lord can refuse to do what the Lord says. We feel that the Lord wants John and Diane here at Chobo with us. We want them here, too. John has the gifts and abilities to help you better in some areas than we can. We need all the parts of the body of Christ. We are all necessary.
We need and want John and Diane here even though they say that they are not needed at Chobo, Not only do we feel that John and Diane should be here, all of our field leadership feels this way as well. The field leadership talked and they all feel that John and Diane should be at Chobo with you Budiks. John and Diane refused to come back to Chobo. God leads through leadership. The field leadership feel that God’s place for John and Diane is with you. John says that God is not leading them back to Chobo. God does not lead in two different ways. He does not tell the leaders one thing and John and Diane something different.
John says that he can’t help you and meet his children’s needs both. The Lord expects us to take good care of our children and meet their needs. That is what God has said. He has also given us abilities to do His work here on earth, and with His help we can do both in a way that will bring honor and glory to Him. We believe that John’s own desires to be with his children and to do other things are keeping him from seeing and following what the Lord wants.
All of this could be very discouraging to you to see a believer you love not walking with the Lord. Each of you needs to decide that no matter what anyone else does you will follow the Lord. We love John and Diane and still want them to come back. Let’s pray that they’ll respond to the Lord’s leading and be willing to come and be used of God to build all of us up in the faith.
John and Diane we love you and you are needed here very much in the work. We are not in any way wanting to put you down by telling the believers these things. We feel that the believers need an honest answer as to why you are not coming back. We can’t tell them something that we don’t believe or not say anything at all.
Your Teammates
Read more documentation
At this time I was 15 and was living in a group home for intensive counseling.
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The EC claims Dave B was dismissed from NTM in 1989 due to the abuse claims of Kari Mik. The FC claims Dave B resigned of his own accord for other reasons.
If Dave was dismissed in 1989, why was this letter not sent until 1997?
Read more documentation
We have decided to black out all names from these files unless given specific permission to publish them. These files were handed to me and another MK at a meeting with NTM in May. Please note that these files are open Sanford files, which means anyone can go there and view them.
Read more documentation
Hi Kari,
Good to hear from you. We just finished hosting our NTM Enrichment conference here at the Lake of the Ozarks in Camdenton. We had over 500 in attendance so that kept us all very busy.
I’m really sorry that the phone call with the USEB and old Executive Board didn’t go like you wanted it to. We are wanting to express our deep sorrow and apologize for what happened to you and several others during those dark days at the boarding school. I can assure you that we have changed our leadership style and the way we work with people. We do now have a strong CPC team functioning and they have been for some time. I have to admit that I’m still not sure of all that you want to see happen and I’m not sure that we will ever be able to met your expectations. I hate what happened to you, but am not sure how to go back 15-20 years ago and take care of all this when most of these perpetrators are not with the mission anymore. I know that the CPC is continuing to do investigation on this whole matter. They are contacting many other people and talking with them. We are removing Ron Abram from leadership. We are also restructuring our whole strategy of ministry in West Africa to involve and partner in a greater way with the African church. I’m sure this seems like to little to late and it probably is, but we are not really sure what else we can do.
Sorry about the disappointment,
Sincerely,
Marv
In response to:
Marv,
Hello from Senegal.
The last email from you was so encouraging! It seemed you really saw our hearts and responded in a moving way. I felt so hopeful.
Then the conference call, which seemed to be an effort on the part of the EB to tell us what we wanted to hear and pacify us so we would go away. It seemed none of what we finally felt we connected on with you after 19 hours of meeting in Florida was relayed to the EB. Where did the communication break down? Did you and I really not connect after all? Or was the communication break-down between the CPC and the EB? It’s hard to know.
I haven’t heard much of anything since the conference call, is there anything you can tell me?
Still praying and trusting Christ.
Kari
Read more documentation
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